NCS and St. Albans misconduct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which class at Landin did that? Are they also the current sophomores? Maybe that's a bad year in boyland.
-worried mother of girls

That class is currently sophomores in college. It happened in 2008.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is a joke. People bashing schools for no reason, people bashing the Post, people even bashing their anonymous fellow posters.

Here's the scoop. This stuff is in the news (UVA etc). NCS talks to their seniors about life in college, sexuality, alcohol, etc. The sophomore girls create on their own a document that anyone can anonymously contribute to which details some of the stuff that has happened to them sexually. STA boys did not have access to this document. Boys were supposedly named. Girls could write whatever they wanted; boys could not defend themselves whether they are indeed guilty or perhaps innocent. No one knows who has seen or not seen the document. Lots of guessing about what it contains, some say the "worst" thing is making out, others have heard it includes oral sex. Until it too is leaked to the WaPo, you can all keep guessing.

Both classes have had members drunk at parties for a few years now. The girls in this class have a reputation for drinking (not all of them of course!). This -- and any mode of dress -- does not make any unwanted sexual advances appropriate or warranted! Yet since some of what was chronicled occurred when the girls were drunk, no one wanted the documents public or the girls named either. That the google doc existed was leaked and boys responded, trying to defend themselves. Soon the administrations of both schools, which do monitor social media behavior, stepped in to help sort it all out.

Saying that there is some kind of problem with this grade at either school is ridiculous as this is not unique to this grade or to either school. This is teenage America -- everywhere.

The boys and girls who leave the Cathedral schools before 9th grade usually leave for academic reasons as these schools may not be the right fit, some go to prep schools, some switch gear for sports reasons, etc. Using the natural attrition as some evidence for bad behavior is again ridiculous. Anyone who has anything to say about these CHILDREN should step out of the anonymous posting and go to either school with their concerns. I believe wholeheartedly that both schools would be receptive and listen. How they have handled this situation speaks to the fact that they are both taking it seriously and want the PARENTS (and not anonymous posters nor Washington Post reporters who were leaked the letters) to help further the discussion to ensure everyone is on the same page: there needs to be a proper platform to discuss such issues; parents need to talk to their kids and also be a bit more responsible with regard to parties and drinking; and the whole issue will be dealt with as both schools learn more and understand more.

As someone who went to NCS, was in this grade, and has seen the document, you are so wrong. First off, nobody has been drinking for "years now". The people who do drink, which is few, started late last year, which compared to kids at other schools, this isn't anything abnormal (I'm not condoning underage drinking). Second, people who left in our grade left mostly because of harassment, me included. Third, the document was anonymous and didn't include names. The two schools are not "receptive" and they do not "listen". I went to the school, along with many others, multiple times to complain about harassment and even with proof the most they did was give the people a warning. How many warnings can one give? They would act as if they cared about my problems but not do anything about it. And I can tell you that the harassment my friends and I witnessed was pretty foul. When NCS found out about the document, they told the sophomore girls that they didn't handle the situation well, even though the document was meant as a "safe space" where girls could anonymously share their stories about times they felt victimized by STA sophomores. One girl showed the boys and that's how the news spread. Once the boys found out they responded horrendously saying things like, "this is why girls shouldn't have rights". Once this became publicized in the news, that's when NCS and STA sent letters to the parents. They only did this because it became public and they wanted to save the school's reputation. Otherwise they wouldn't of done so, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Well done, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well done, pp.

Agreed. That helps clarify what happened here. Thank you, NCS student, for explaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As someone who went to NCS, was in this grade, and has seen the document, you are so wrong. First off, nobody has been drinking for "years now". The people who do drink, which is few, started late last year, which compared to kids at other schools, this isn't anything abnormal (I'm not condoning underage drinking). Second, people who left in our grade left mostly because of harassment, me included. Third, the document was anonymous and didn't include names. The two schools are not "receptive" and they do not "listen". I went to the school, along with many others, multiple times to complain about harassment and even with proof the most they did was give the people a warning. How many warnings can one give? They would act as if they cared about my problems but not do anything about it. And I can tell you that the harassment my friends and I witnessed was pretty foul. When NCS found out about the document, they told the sophomore girls that they didn't handle the situation well, even though the document was meant as a "safe space" where girls could anonymously share their stories about times they felt victimized by STA sophomores. One girl showed the boys and that's how the news spread. Once the boys found out they responded horrendously saying things like, "this is why girls shouldn't have rights". Once this became publicized in the news, that's when NCS and STA sent letters to the parents. They only did this because it became public and they wanted to save the school's reputation. Otherwise they wouldn't of done so, trust me.

There is no way that this is an actual NCS student or alum. "Wouldn't of done so"? No way such poor grammar would have passed muster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As someone who went to NCS, was in this grade, and has seen the document, you are so wrong. First off, nobody has been drinking for "years now". The people who do drink, which is few, started late last year, which compared to kids at other schools, this isn't anything abnormal (I'm not condoning underage drinking). Second, people who left in our grade left mostly because of harassment, me included. Third, the document was anonymous and didn't include names. The two schools are not "receptive" and they do not "listen". I went to the school, along with many others, multiple times to complain about harassment and even with proof the most they did was give the people a warning. How many warnings can one give? They would act as if they cared about my problems but not do anything about it. And I can tell you that the harassment my friends and I witnessed was pretty foul. When NCS found out about the document, they told the sophomore girls that they didn't handle the situation well, even though the document was meant as a "safe space" where girls could anonymously share their stories about times they felt victimized by STA sophomores. One girl showed the boys and that's how the news spread. Once the boys found out they responded horrendously saying things like, "this is why girls shouldn't have rights". Once this became publicized in the news, that's when NCS and STA sent letters to the parents. They only did this because it became public and they wanted to save the school's reputation. Otherwise they wouldn't of done so, trust me.

There is no way that this is an actual NCS student or alum. "Wouldn't of done so"? No way such poor grammar would have passed muster.

I am an NCS alum but I'm still a kid and have room to learn so thank you for the grammar lesson! The NCS education doesn't make one perfect!

[Anonymous]

Well done again, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is a joke. People bashing schools for no reason, people bashing the Post, people even bashing their anonymous fellow posters.

Here's the scoop. This stuff is in the news (UVA etc). NCS talks to their seniors about life in college, sexuality, alcohol, etc. The sophomore girls create on their own a document that anyone can anonymously contribute to which details some of the stuff that has happened to them sexually. STA boys did not have access to this document. Boys were supposedly named. Girls could write whatever they wanted; boys could not defend themselves whether they are indeed guilty or perhaps innocent. No one knows who has seen or not seen the document. Lots of guessing about what it contains, some say the "worst" thing is making out, others have heard it includes oral sex. Until it too is leaked to the WaPo, you can all keep guessing.

Both classes have had members drunk at parties for a few years now. The girls in this class have a reputation for drinking (not all of them of course!). This -- and any mode of dress -- does not make any unwanted sexual advances appropriate or warranted! Yet since some of what was chronicled occurred when the girls were drunk, no one wanted the documents public or the girls named either. That the google doc existed was leaked and boys responded, trying to defend themselves. Soon the administrations of both schools, which do monitor social media behavior, stepped in to help sort it all out.

Saying that there is some kind of problem with this grade at either school is ridiculous as this is not unique to this grade or to either school. This is teenage America -- everywhere.

The boys and girls who leave the Cathedral schools before 9th grade usually leave for academic reasons as these schools may not be the right fit, some go to prep schools, some switch gear for sports reasons, etc. Using the natural attrition as some evidence for bad behavior is again ridiculous. Anyone who has anything to say about these CHILDREN should step out of the anonymous posting and go to either school with their concerns. I believe wholeheartedly that both schools would be receptive and listen. How they have handled this situation speaks to the fact that they are both taking it seriously and want the PARENTS (and not anonymous posters nor Washington Post reporters who were leaked the letters) to help further the discussion to ensure everyone is on the same page: there needs to be a proper platform to discuss such issues; parents need to talk to their kids and also be a bit more responsible with regard to parties and drinking; and the whole issue will be dealt with as both schools learn more and understand more.

As someone who went to NCS, was in this grade, and has seen the document, you are so wrong. First off, nobody has been drinking for "years now". The people who do drink, which is few, started late last year, which compared to kids at other schools, this isn't anything abnormal (I'm not condoning underage drinking). Second, people who left in our grade left mostly because of harassment, me included. Third, the document was anonymous and didn't include names. The two schools are not "receptive" and they do not "listen". I went to the school, along with many others, multiple times to complain about harassment and even with proof the most they did was give the people a warning. How many warnings can one give? They would act as if they cared about my problems but not do anything about it. And I can tell you that the harassment my friends and I witnessed was pretty foul. When NCS found out about the document, they told the sophomore girls that they didn't handle the situation well, even though the document was meant as a "safe space" where girls could anonymously share their stories about times they felt victimized by STA sophomores. One girl showed the boys and that's how the news spread. Once the boys found out they responded horrendously saying things like, "this is why girls shouldn't have rights". Once this became publicized in the news, that's when NCS and STA sent letters to the parents. They only did this because it became public and they wanted to save the school's reputation. Otherwise they wouldn't of done so, trust me.

Just to correct the timeline -- the schools met with their students before the Post published anything, and sent the letters home before the Post published anything. We know this because the Post itself made it clear in its article -- the one linked to the letters, of which they had copies -- that it was the leaked letters that prompted the story. Hopefully some good will come out of the publicizing of the incident, but instead of the schools sending out the letter in response to a newspaper story, it happened in the reverse order. The letters were also fairly open about the timeline -- when they learned of the Google document; when each school met with its students, etc. The newspaper story came out on Monday night and the schools had met with their students and sent the letters home at various times during the previous week.

Regardless of how the two schools have handled issues in the past, it is incorrect to argue that they only wrote the letters home after the story broke in the wider news. I don't think this is a major point -- obviously the substance of the events and how the schools and parent bodies respond is what mattered -- but for the sake of accuracy it is worth keeping the correct order of events in mind.

[Anonymous]

16:28
Thank for those clarifications. I think that is pretty much what most of us familiar with the school thought happened. I am sorry for what happened to you. It is astonishing to me how backward the leadership at this girls school is. I really try to understand their motivations and I cannot. Their failure is obvious in how few girls graduate and feel good about the experience and yet the NCS Administration does not care.

[Anonymous]

I have had a different perspective -- I am an upper school parent who has a daughter in this grade. Concerns are brought to and dealt with by the administration in a reasonable way, no different than at my other child's school. There are 10-15 students at Ncs and probably 15-20 students at sta who are the students involved in this document and engaging in behaviors like this. It is not the entire community. Parents need to do more monitoring at home and the admin does need to do better, but it should not be said they aren't trying or do not care. I am applauded by the parents of a lot of kids involved. They are overgrown teenagers themselves who either want to be popular and fun parents or who are such self centered a-holes they aren't noticing their teens getting blackout drunk in their basements(where they have entertaining kitchens with stocked bars). I also thought the letter home was completely reasonable - talk to your children and know where they hell they are. Teens lie. Parents need to know that and parent them with eyes wide open. It's too bad 35 kids are ruining the classes of 2017 at sta and Ncs. There are so many good kids in those grades who should be celebrated but the popular kids really ruin it for everyone. Also the kids who left from her grade were the type of kid, who according to my dd, would have been at the center of this drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had a different perspective -- I am an upper school parent who has a daughter in this grade. Concerns are brought to and dealt with by the administration in a reasonable way, no different than at my other child's school. There are 10-15 students at Ncs and probably 15-20 students at sta who are the students involved in this document and engaging in behaviors like this. It is not the entire community. Parents need to do more monitoring at home and the admin does need to do better, but it should not be said they aren't trying or do not care. I am applauded by the parents of a lot of kids involved. They are overgrown teenagers themselves who either want to be popular and fun parents or who are such self centered a-holes they aren't noticing their teens getting blackout drunk in their basements(where they have entertaining kitchens with stocked bars). I also thought the letter home was completely reasonable - talk to your children and know where they hell they are. Teens lie. Parents need to know that and parent them with eyes wide open. It's too bad 35 kids are ruining the classes of 2017 at sta and Ncs. There are so many good kids in those grades who should be celebrated but the popular kids really ruin it for everyone. Also the kids who left from her grade were the type of kid, who according to my dd, would have been at the center of this drama.

If by the "center of this drama" you mean they were continuously harassed then yes. I would of never taken part in the way they acted so it offends me that you say people who left would of been part of this. You are correct when you say it's not everyone in the grades who participates. Especially for NCS, this is true. But for STA, even though there are boys who didn't take part in anything, a majority of the grade backed up the 10-20 boys who actively participated in this whole ordeal. It wasn't just the "popular kids". At STA, even boys who I initially thought were very nice and not the ones that would usually gravitate to the so called "popular group" ended up doing things just to seem funny to their classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had a different perspective -- I am an upper school parent who has a daughter in this grade. Concerns are brought to and dealt with by the administration in a reasonable way, no different than at my other child's school. There are 10-15 students at Ncs and probably 15-20 students at sta who are the students involved in this document and engaging in behaviors like this. It is not the entire community. Parents need to do more monitoring at home and the admin does need to do better, but it should not be said they aren't trying or do not care. I am applauded by the parents of a lot of kids involved. They are overgrown teenagers themselves who either want to be popular and fun parents or who are such self centered a-holes they aren't noticing their teens getting blackout drunk in their basements(where they have entertaining kitchens with stocked bars). I also thought the letter home was completely reasonable - talk to your children and know where they hell they are. Teens lie. Parents need to know that and parent them with eyes wide open. It's too bad 35 kids are ruining the classes of 2017 at sta and Ncs. There are so many good kids in those grades who should be celebrated but the popular kids really ruin it for everyone. Also the kids who left from her grade were the type of kid, who according to my dd, would have been at the center of this drama.

If by the "center of this drama" you mean they were continuously harassed then yes. I would of never taken part in the way they acted so it offends me that you say people who left would of been part of this. You are correct when you say it's not everyone in the grades who participates. Especially for NCS, this is true. But for STA, even though there are boys who didn't take part in anything, a majority of the grade backed up the 10-20 boys who actively participated in this whole ordeal. It wasn't just the "popular kids". At STA, even boys who I initially thought were very nice and not the ones that would usually gravitate to the so called "popular group" ended up doing things just to seem funny to their classmates.

Why is the St. Albans admin failing their boys? It seems like proportionately this is more of an issue at sta than ncs

[Anonymous]

I am the pp. I don't love Ncs, but they don't deserve to bear the brunt of this storm. A major major issue here are those Ncs boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the pp. I don't love Ncs, but they don't deserve to bear the brunt of this storm. A major major issue here are those Ncs boys.

**STA boys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the pp. I don't love Ncs, but they don't deserve to bear the brunt of this storm. A major major issue here are those Ncs boys.

**STA boys

The fact you made this easy - and yet obvious - mistake, previous poster, makes me unfortunately question the veracity of your previous posts. In other words, it does not seem like the kind of mistake that someone with actual involvement in that school community would probably make.