s/o what are AA parents teaching their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP here -- This sums up everything that I think of AAs -- this is the sum total of why they as a race (doesn't matter if this lady is a millionaire) cannot get ahead. Too much anger. Too much of -- I am who I am. Too much concern about respect. Too much crying about unfairness.

Black people can't get ahead due to:

1. anger about racism
2. unwillingness to change to suit racists
3. a belief that people should treat all people with respect
4. pointing out racism

So all would be sunshine, roses, and millionaires if only black people would learn to be happy about racism, accept being treated as lesser, and never, ever, ever pointing out racism? How about that.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And some white people can't get ahead because they're fools. But I don't see anybody making comments like, "This is the sum total of why they as a race (doesn't matter if Bill Gates is a billionaire) cannot get ahead. Too many fools."

They do have a name we call them white trash. I think poverty, attitude and education play a large roll in these things.

Look, it's not acceptable to use the term "white trash." That's a slur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you mentioned that if you had an AA child you would tell him that if the cops stop him and ask him to do something he should do it, even if it's dumb even if it accuses him unfairly or whatever. You said that you would deal with fixing the situation later he just needs to make it out of the situation alive. That's wise advice and it's advice that many AA parents do in fact impart upon their children. Still, if you were AA you would know that first of all there is no "fixing the situation later" because there's nothing to fix; they're black there's no way to change that. Secondly, if you were AA you would know that while encouraging your child to follow that rule of thumb may indeed be wise it isn't exactly easy in terms of doing it continually and consistently throughout ones life. Everyone has their breaking point.

For example, consider Rosa Parks. She was a quiet and compliant black woman in the segregated South who theoretically could have conceded to to stay quiet and compliant in order to avoid confrontation and instead patiently bide her time till conditions changed, but one day she just got "tired of giving in" and realized that being recognized and respected as a human being was not something to wait for and hope to see someday. She didn't refuse to move to the colored section of the bus to start a movement or to be a hero, she refused to move because she believed she had rights as a human being and she was weary of others dismissing and disrespecting those rights. She knew there would be consequences for her actions - she could very well have been bashed upside the head by the police or malled by an angry mob. Luckily as it turned out she was only arrested and fired from her job as a seamstress in a local department store, but still she suffered those consequences and she concluded that those consequences for defending her rights and dignity as a human being was a price well worth paying.

Now don't get me wrong, no one is comparing Michael Brown in Ferguson or Eric Garner in Staten Island to Rosa Parks by any means, nor is anyone saying that any and every belligerent black person who dares to defy the police is a civil rights icon either, but the sentiments and motivations behind their actions are largely the same. Plain and simply put, at some point people get tired of giving in. At some point people get frustrated and fatigued with following orders that betray their basic human rights and at some point every black man and black woman reaches that point where enough is enough.
"I should be able to stand here if I want. I should be able to sit here if I want. I should be able to walk here if I want. I shouldn't have to move just because I'm black."

Sometimes the end result of their disobedience is epic. Sometimes the end result of their disobedience is tragic. Most times the end result of their disobedience is neither - it's negligent - just another all too common unfortunate life experience that comes with being an African-American. If you were AA you would be all too familiar with such experiences and consequently you would understand that it's not a simple matter of pulling up ones pants and being polite. Ask your black friends and neighbors and co-workers if they've ever had such moments of fatigue and frustration and if they've ever found themselves in such situations and confrontations as a result. You may be surprised to find out that they all will be able to share stories with you of times when they just simply had enough and got tired of giving in and determinedly demanded the respect they felt they deserved as a human being.

AA parents do indeed talk to their children about the harsh realities of how they are predominantly perceived throughout society, but even when armed with that knowledge and aware of how best to deal with certain situations it still doesn't insulate their children from the daily wear and tear of it all or give them the strength to endure the daily doses of dehumanization. Unfortunately there are no words to prepare them for that. Unfortunately experience is not only the best teacher but the only teacher when it comes to that.

Beautifully said, pp. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Actually, other racial ethnic groups, especially immigrants, know that blacks are the most stigmatized group in the US and they know they can climb the ladder by also distancing themselves from blacks. Check out the book "How the Irish Became White," a scholarly book showing how the Irish were once sympathetic to the anti-slavery cause back when they were considered a separate inferior race by the English. But when the Irish immigrated to the United States they realized they could rise socially by becoming "white" and identifying with the white Anglo-Saxon Protestants who ruled the country.

Seriously, if you want the dominant group to accept you, the last thing you would do is be friendly to the group they dislike the most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you don't have any options except for gang banging or stealing it's not going to be easy to take a different path. If your adolescent brain were presented two paths, 1) get high, get women, sell dope make money now vs 2) graduate high school, go to school for 4 more years, struggle to get a desk job and then get women and money

Which path would you take? Especially when everyone is taking path 1 and dad isn't around.

It has to start with the family unit and culture. Poverty does not have to equal poor behavior. My mother was a single parent with three kids and we were always just scraping by in terms of financial security and impending chaos in terms of our housing situation. However, education was highly valued and we were expected to do well in school. We certainly did not have expensive clothes but we were dressed appropriately, spoke respectfully to everyone, and were taught to respect authority.

I'd like to know how getting good grades and being dressed in your Sunday best will keep a store security guard from following you and watching your every move and automatically assuming you're up to something.
I'd like to know how being respectful and enunciating words properly will prevent you from getting pulled over for DWB (driving while black).
I'd like to know how does an honest intelligent articulate compassionate accomplished man of integrity avoid being seen as something totally different at first glance simply because his skin holds so many negative perceptions.
What else does he need to do?

Right, there are a lot of racists out there, of all races. Stop acting like you deserve special treatment because you're discriminated against. Work hard, find jobs that pay well and in which discrimination is harder to get away with, build a strong and resilient family and community network, focus on long-term family goals, and keep doing that for several generations. Acknowledge but do not focus of unfairness, just push your way through it. That's what my family has done and, for us, it has worked well. It was in a different country and was a long slog, but I've seen it work here as well. If I wanted to focus in all the hurdles set up in front of me, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere in this world.

Oh my goodness people are allowed to say they have been discriminated against and they want discrimination to end.
WhatZy minded fool just says ' yes there is racism, so what?'
Or tell victims of racism to just work hard and people will not discriminate against you.
You cannot be that stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Way to generalize. But then complain about black folks thinking all white people are racist Hypocrite!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm seriously wondering. You know you are raising your kids in a country (world?) where there is skin color discrimination. I'd imagine the AAs reading on here are well-to-do -- do you teach them that the world should accept diversity and sing kumbaya? Because if I had an AA child -- esp a son -- I would tell him that if the cops stop him and ask him to do anything -- he does it. Even if it's dumb. Even if it accuses him unfairly or whatever. We will deal with "fixing" the situation later -- he just needs to make it out of the situation alive.

Why do so many AA young men have the view that they can and should stand up to the cops? Sure Michael Brown wasn't armed, but many black men of that age group are -- why would any cop give him the benefit of the doubt?? If they told him to get on the sidewalk -- why not get on the damn sidewalk? And why not teach AA boys to dress a bit more respectably instead of embracing the thus culture? I'm guessing someone walking around in jeans with a sports coat is a bit less likely to be harassed than someone in a hoodie.

I am sure DCUM will jump all over me, but I am genuinely curious. I am of a different profiled class and you better believe that at the airport and in gov't buildings -- I am on my best behavior; always carrying ID, polite even if I have to go through another damn security check for no reason, dressed professionally etc. I know my profiled class has created issues for the world -- I don't want to give anyone a reason to have an issue with me. Seems like AAs don't think that way.

Do you really believe this? Other than my relatives in law enforcement or the military, NONE of the black males I know between the ages of 18 and 30 own a gun. And it isn't because they have criminal records or mental illness. It's because it was drummed into them since early childhood that even touching a toy gun could get them shot by the police. My middle and youngest brothers weren't even allowed to have neon colored, clearly plastic water pistols. The first time my first cousins even handled a gun was in JROTC or basic training. Most of their white peers in those contexts had at least fired a BB gun during childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Actually, other racial ethnic groups, especially immigrants, know that blacks are the most stigmatized group in the US and they know they can climb the ladder by also distancing themselves from blacks. Check out the book "How the Irish Became White," a scholarly book showing how the Irish were once sympathetic to the anti-slavery cause back when they were considered a separate inferior race by the English. But when the Irish immigrated to the United States they realized they could rise socially by becoming "white" and identifying with the white Anglo-Saxon Protestants who ruled the country.

Seriously, if you want the dominant group to accept you, the last thing you would do is be friendly to the group they dislike the most.

This is what Asian immigrants do too! Look down on AAs and rise by quickly assimilating with the dominant white majority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Actually, other racial ethnic groups, especially immigrants, know that blacks are the most stigmatized group in the US and they know they can climb the ladder by also distancing themselves from blacks. Check out the book "How the Irish Became White," a scholarly book showing how the Irish were once sympathetic to the anti-slavery cause back when they were considered a separate inferior race by the English. But when the Irish immigrated to the United States they realized they could rise socially by becoming "white" and identifying with the white Anglo-Saxon Protestants who ruled the country.

Seriously, if you want the dominant group to accept you, the last thing you would do is be friendly to the group they dislike the most.

This is what Asian immigrants do too! Look down on AAs and rise by quickly assimilating with the dominant white majority.

Why didn't/don't AAs do this then, too, to get a step ahead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Would you similarly conclude that many white people teach their children to distrust and dislike AA's because they think they're all potentially criminal? Do you find that amusingly absurd considering society's continued history or would you say its mere coincidence that whites make such obtuse generalizations and hold such negative perceptions?

In my circle of friends, we teach our children to not judge people without getting to know them, but then have the children come home from their non-Ward 3 DVApS and ask why the AA kids are mean to them. This makes it hard to do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Would you similarly conclude that many white people teach their children to distrust and dislike AA's because they think they're all potentially criminal? Do you find that amusingly absurd considering society's continued history or would you say its mere coincidence that whites make such obtuse generalizations and hold such negative perceptions?

In my circle of friends, we teach our children to not judge people without getting to know them, but then have the children come home from their non-Ward 3 DVApS and ask why the AA kids are mean to them. This makes it hard to do the right thing.

WTF?
I guess those particular kids are mean, you need a doctorate to figure that put?
WTF does that have to do with other black people??

SMH!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Actually, other racial ethnic groups, especially immigrants, know that blacks are the most stigmatized group in the US and they know they can climb the ladder by also distancing themselves from blacks. Check out the book "How the Irish Became White," a scholarly book showing how the Irish were once sympathetic to the anti-slavery cause back when they were considered a separate inferior race by the English. But when the Irish immigrated to the United States they realized they could rise socially by becoming "white" and identifying with the white Anglo-Saxon Protestants who ruled the country.

Seriously, if you want the dominant group to accept you, the last thing you would do is be friendly to the group they dislike the most.

This is what Asian immigrants do too! Look down on AAs and rise by quickly assimilating with the dominant white majority.

Why didn't/don't AAs do this then, too, to get a step ahead?

You do realize the President is AA don't you? No doubt this is due in no small part to his ability to integrate into the culture of mainstream society and assimilate white culture without the contrasting experience of living in a predominantly minority community.

[Anonymous]

OP's premise is so ignorant it sounds like it was written for the Onion. I grew up in an all white neighborhood, went to all white schools, a large university and law school. What I saw time and time again was many white kids with no respect for authority. Drinking sometimes vandalism, reckless with people's property. Not everyone, not all the time. Just like with black kids or any other racial group. The difference is was how this infractions were treated. Even for actual crimes, there was no more than a slap on the wrist. The armed shooter in Aurora was taken into custody alive after he KILLED 12 people and hurt more. If a white kid shoplifts, is that an excuse for him to be shot? If you think that would be tolerated in this country you are truly delusional. My AA family has been in this country for 9 generations way before many Americans of European decent. This is my country too. I pay taxes for a government who should serve me and my family as well. If my kids make a mistake they shouldn't have to pay for it with their lives just like yours. What I teach my children is that this country is unfair and there is structural racism. When you see your white privileged friends do stupid things know that just because of the color of your skin you will be treated differently. Now I have answered your "question" what do you teach your children about white privilege and prejudice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's premise is so ignorant it sounds like it was written for the Onion. I grew up in an all white neighborhood, went to all white schools, a large university and law school. What I saw time and time again was many white kids with no respect for authority. Drinking sometimes vandalism, reckless with people's property. Not everyone, not all the time. Just like with black kids or any other racial group. The difference is was how this infractions were treated. Even for actual crimes, there was no more than a slap on the wrist. The armed shooter in Aurora was taken into custody alive after he KILLED 12 people and hurt more. If a white kid shoplifts, is that an excuse for him to be shot? If you think that would be tolerated in this country you are truly delusional. My AA family has been in this country for 9 generations way before many Americans of European decent. This is my country too. I pay taxes for a government who should serve me and my family as well. If my kids make a mistake they shouldn't have to pay for it with their lives just like yours. What I teach my children is that this country is unfair and there is structural racism. When you see your white privileged friends do stupid things know that just because of the color of your skin you will be treated differently. Now I have answered your "question" what do you teach your children about white privilege and prejudice?

Excellent post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Actually, other racial ethnic groups, especially immigrants, know that blacks are the most stigmatized group in the US and they know they can climb the ladder by also distancing themselves from blacks. Check out the book "How the Irish Became White," a scholarly book showing how the Irish were once sympathetic to the anti-slavery cause back when they were considered a separate inferior race by the English. But when the Irish immigrated to the United States they realized they could rise socially by becoming "white" and identifying with the white Anglo-Saxon Protestants who ruled the country.

Seriously, if you want the dominant group to accept you, the last thing you would do is be friendly to the group they dislike the most.

This is what Asian immigrants do too! Look down on AAs and rise by quickly assimilating with the dominant white majority.

Why didn't/don't AAs do this then, too, to get a step ahead?

You do realize the President is AA don't you? No doubt this is due in no small part to his ability to integrate into the culture of mainstream society and assimilate white culture without the contrasting experience of living in a predominantly minority community.

You do realize that the most vitriolic baseless attacks are made against him? "He's not a real American" "His presidency is illegal" "He's lawless". His "assimilation" apparently isnt enough for him to be treated like every other president over the past 200 years.