s/o what are AA parents teaching their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have a 300 year old chip on their shoulder.

Fuck you. You be the great granddaughter of a slave and see how you feel about it.

TBH, I don't even know who my great grandmother is, and if I did, why should HER life immediately impact mine? Lady's been dead for generations.

What an ignorant statement . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok racism is pointed out over and over again. What is the solution to it? Is there one?

not in this country, as there are too many "cultures"

Africans who enter the US are anchored to a culture and will self-segregate.

Black (as in American black) is its own culture, I've been told. Blacks can use nigger amongst each other, as it's a term of endearment. Yes, you'll get blacks - older blacks who were instrumental in civil rights who abhor the term. But it's still acceptable. There's a culture of black poverty, which is where the whole "thug life" image comes into play. And you have the blacks who have "made it" who want nothing to do with the other group.

But this can be true of all races/cultures. Immigrants coming over, anchored to their cultures, will self-segregate, and rich and poor will rarely mingle.

But b/c black culture is suffering the effects of slavery - now institutionalized - this oppressive atmosphere is hard to shatter.

I read an article on Canadian blacks where blacks didn't associate with "black" - but they did identify with their culture. So they labeled themselves as French-Canadian, for example.

bottom line - This country is a fucking mess. And groups become monolithic when it benefits them.

But I wonder just how many people - educated and "enlightened" folks of all races - would be welcoming to Brown.

b/c it's not just about his death
It's about his support system that lead him to this tragic ending. But if you're surrounded by poverty and ignorance and attend low-performing schools with weak teachers, what chance do you have of moving forward in the right direction?

You just took a little bit if this, a little bit of that, took it all out of context to come up with some half asked conclusion of nothing.
You could have just save your typing finger and just said 'too many fucked up different cultures/colors"
Just as dumb ass , but a shorter read.

No, you're just too lazy to do any other research b/c it's just easier to blame it on whites.

Look up Neo-African Americans. NEWS FLASH: Not all people with African roots are the same!

I'm the dumb ass? I've done my research, and I've lived through these situations.

So maybe if you weren't so goddamn lazy, YOU'D move beyond dumb ass stage. It's so much easier to say someone's written something that's "SO LONG" than to actually understand the meaning behind the words.

Grow up.

This is not a white-black thing. It's beyond that. But unfortunately, for those with limited brain power, examining the gray is too difficult.

poor baby - head hurt?

[Anonymous]

PP, yes it does. It's time to stop pointing the finger at White America as the sole source of the problem and accepting that the AA community has work to do. They DO need to change some of their attitudes and behavior. Bill Cosby (just one example) has been saying this publicly for years.

Also, no one on here has suggested that AAs are the only people on the planet associated with violence, or that everyone else's bad behavior is explained away. On this thread, for example, is a discussion of white serial killers. Who is excusing that? The news is full of uprisings in the Middle East. Who is excusing that?

And to your last point: Most white people living in America today are NOT descended from slaveowners. Most of us are descended from subsequent waves of immigration, some to escape persecution and starvation. These immigrants were dirt-poor and never owned slaves, so your suggestion that we whites are mired in some tradition of treating AAs a certain way from the olden days is ridiculous and insulting.

How the hell does being an immigrant make someone immune to prejudice?
How the hell does being dirt poor prevent someone from subscribing to stereotypes?
How the hell does having never owned slaves stop someone from jumping on the bandwagon of beliefs perpetuated by negative propaganda?
When the hell did experiencing discrimination ever stop someone from practicing discrimination in turn?
Shut
The
Hell
Up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you don't have any options except for gang banging or stealing it's not going to be easy to take a different path. If your adolescent brain were presented two paths, 1) get high, get women, sell dope make money now vs 2) graduate high school, go to school for 4 more years, struggle to get a desk job and then get women and money

Which path would you take? Especially when everyone is taking path 1 and dad isn't around.

It has to start with the family unit and culture. Poverty does not have to equal poor behavior. My mother was a single parent with three kids and we were always just scraping by in terms of financial security and impending chaos in terms of our housing situation. However, education was highly valued and we were expected to do well in school. We certainly did not have expensive clothes but we were dressed appropriately, spoke respectfully to everyone, and were taught to respect authority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you don't have any options except for gang banging or stealing it's not going to be easy to take a different path. If your adolescent brain were presented two paths, 1) get high, get women, sell dope make money now vs 2) graduate high school, go to school for 4 more years, struggle to get a desk job and then get women and money

Which path would you take? Especially when everyone is taking path 1 and dad isn't around.

It has to start with the family unit and culture. Poverty does not have to equal poor behavior. My mother was a single parent with three kids and we were always just scraping by in terms of financial security and impending chaos in terms of our housing situation. However, education was highly valued and we were expected to do well in school. We certainly did not have expensive clothes but we were dressed appropriately, spoke respectfully to everyone, and were taught to respect authority.

I'd like to know how getting good grades and being dressed in your Sunday best will keep a store security guard from following you and watching your every move and automatically assuming you're up to something.
I'd like to know how being respectful and enunciating words properly will prevent you from getting pulled over for DWB (driving while black).
I'd like to know how does an honest intelligent articulate compassionate accomplished man of integrity avoid being seen as something totally different at first glance simply because his skin holds so many negative perceptions.
What else does he need to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you don't have any options except for gang banging or stealing it's not going to be easy to take a different path. If your adolescent brain were presented two paths, 1) get high, get women, sell dope make money now vs 2) graduate high school, go to school for 4 more years, struggle to get a desk job and then get women and money

Which path would you take? Especially when everyone is taking path 1 and dad isn't around.

It has to start with the family unit and culture. Poverty does not have to equal poor behavior. My mother was a single parent with three kids and we were always just scraping by in terms of financial security and impending chaos in terms of our housing situation. However, education was highly valued and we were expected to do well in school. We certainly did not have expensive clothes but we were dressed appropriately, spoke respectfully to everyone, and were taught to respect authority.

I'd like to know how getting good grades and being dressed in your Sunday best will keep a store security guard from following you and watching your every move and automatically assuming you're up to something.
I'd like to know how being respectful and enunciating words properly will prevent you from getting pulled over for DWB (driving while black).
I'd like to know how does an honest intelligent articulate compassionate accomplished man of integrity avoid being seen as something totally different at first glance simply because his skin holds so many negative perceptions.
What else does he need to do?

Right, there are a lot of racists out there, of all races. Stop acting like you deserve special treatment because you're discriminated against. Work hard, find jobs that pay well and in which discrimination is harder to get away with, build a strong and resilient family and community network, focus on long-term family goals, and keep doing that for several generations. Acknowledge but do not focus of unfairness, just push your way through it. That's what my family has done and, for us, it has worked well. It was in a different country and was a long slog, but I've seen it work here as well. If I wanted to focus in all the hurdles set up in front of me, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere in this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have a 300 year old chip on their shoulder.

Fuck you. You be the great granddaughter of a slave and see how you feel about it.

TBH, I don't even know who my great grandmother is, and if I did, why should HER life immediately impact mine? Lady's been dead for generations.

What an ignorant statement . . .

Actually, I wrote about the chip on the shoulder. I can't be the great granddaughter of a slave because my family came from Ireland in the early 1900s. It's past time to get on with gettin' on. America is one of the few places in the world where you can do whatever you want with yourself. That's why people are literally dying to get into this country. Nobody is keeping anybody down. If you want to make something of yourself, shut up and do it. If you just want to complain about it, fine, but don't expect anyone to listen.

[Anonymous]

OP you mentioned that if you had an AA child you would tell him that if the cops stop him and ask him to do something he should do it, even if it's dumb even if it accuses him unfairly or whatever. You said that you would deal with fixing the situation later he just needs to make it out of the situation alive. That's wise advice and it's advice that many AA parents do in fact impart upon their children. Still, if you were AA you would know that first of all there is no "fixing the situation later" because there's nothing to fix; they're black there's no way to change that. Secondly, if you were AA you would know that while encouraging your child to follow that rule of thumb may indeed be wise it isn't exactly easy in terms of doing it continually and consistently throughout ones life. Everyone has their breaking point.

For example, consider Rosa Parks. She was a quiet and compliant black woman in the segregated South who theoretically could have conceded to to stay quiet and compliant in order to avoid confrontation and instead patiently bide her time till conditions changed, but one day she just got "tired of giving in" and realized that being recognized and respected as a human being was not something to wait for and hope to see someday. She didn't refuse to move to the colored section of the bus to start a movement or to be a hero, she refused to move because she believed she had rights as a human being and she was weary of others dismissing and disrespecting those rights. She knew there would be consequences for her actions - she could very well have been bashed upside the head by the police or malled by an angry mob. Luckily as it turned out she was only arrested and fired from her job as a seamstress in a local department store, but still she suffered those consequences and she concluded that those consequences for defending her rights and dignity as a human being was a price well worth paying.

Now don't get me wrong, no one is comparing Michael Brown in Ferguson or Eric Garner in Staten Island to Rosa Parks by any means, nor is anyone saying that any and every belligerent black person who dares to defy the police is a civil rights icon either, but the sentiments and motivations behind their actions are largely the same. Plain and simply put, at some point people get tired of giving in. At some point people get frustrated and fatigued with following orders that betray their basic human rights and at some point every black man and black woman reaches that point where enough is enough.
"I should be able to stand here if I want. I should be able to sit here if I want. I should be able to walk here if I want. I shouldn't have to move just because I'm black."

Sometimes the end result of their disobedience is epic. Sometimes the end result of their disobedience is tragic. Most times the end result of their disobedience is neither - it's negligent - just another all too common unfortunate life experience that comes with being an African-American. If you were AA you would be all too familiar with such experiences and consequently you would understand that it's not a simple matter of pulling up ones pants and being polite. Ask your black friends and neighbors and co-workers if they've ever had such moments of fatigue and frustration and if they've ever found themselves in such situations and confrontations as a result. You may be surprised to find out that they all will be able to share stories with you of times when they just simply had enough and got tired of giving in and determinedly demanded the respect they felt they deserved as a human being.

AA parents do indeed talk to their children about the harsh realities of how they are predominantly perceived throughout society, but even when armed with that knowledge and aware of how best to deal with certain situations it still doesn't insulate their children from the daily wear and tear of it all or give them the strength to endure the daily doses of dehumanization. Unfortunately there are no words to prepare them for that. Unfortunately experience is not only the best teacher but the only teacher when it comes to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have a 300 year old chip on their shoulder.

Fuck you. You be the great granddaughter of a slave and see how you feel about it.

TBH, I don't even know who my great grandmother is, and if I did, why should HER life immediately impact mine? Lady's been dead for generations.

What an ignorant statement . . .

Actually, I wrote about the chip on the shoulder. I can't be the great granddaughter of a slave because my family came from Ireland in the early 1900s. It's past time to get on with gettin' on. America is one of the few places in the world where you can do whatever you want with yourself. That's why people are literally dying to get into this country. Nobody is keeping anybody down. If you want to make something of yourself, shut up and do it. If you just want to complain about it, fine, but don't expect anyone to listen.

And I was addressing the "great granddaughter of a slave" PP.

I agree with your sentiment, and I'm first generation and one of the first family members to go to college. My parents worked their asses off to keep us comfortable, and for that, I'm very grateful.

[Anonymous]

i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm seriously wondering. You know you are raising your kids in a country (world?) where there is skin color discrimination. I'd imagine the AAs reading on here are well-to-do -- do you teach them that the world should accept diversity and sing kumbaya? Because if I had an AA child -- esp a son -- I would tell him that if the cops stop him and ask him to do anything -- he does it. Even if it's dumb. Even if it accuses him unfairly or whatever. We will deal with "fixing" the situation later -- he just needs to make it out of the situation alive.

Why do so many AA young men have the view that they can and should stand up to the cops? Sure Michael Brown wasn't armed, but many black men of that age group are -- why would any cop give him the benefit of the doubt?? If they told him to get on the sidewalk -- why not get on the damn sidewalk? And why not teach AA boys to dress a bit more respectably instead of embracing the thus culture? I'm guessing someone walking around in jeans with a sports coat is a bit less likely to be harassed than someone in a hoodie.

I am sure DCUM will jump all over me, but I am genuinely curious. I am of a different profiled class and you better believe that at the airport and in gov't buildings -- I am on my best behavior; always carrying ID, polite even if I have to go through another damn security check for no reason, dressed professionally etc. I know my profiled class has created issues for the world -- I don't want to give anyone a reason to have an issue with me. Seems like AAs don't think that way.

What makes you think that 95% of these kids aren't doing that? You wouldn't happen to know it because you don't live in those neighborhoods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

MarleySkye840 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that they do teach their kids to be respectful, but they are teenagers. Teenagers do what they want and are frequently stupid. Difference is a white teenager is unlikely to get shot for it.

+1

When a black kid is disrespectful it's because he is a thug and gang affiliated. Meanwhile when white guys do it we blame "lacrosse culture"?? I have friends of all races, and they all know that the same behaviors are looked at differently based on skin color.

Agreed. BUT knowing that people will see you as a thug or a gang banger if you are the least bit disrespectful -- why not go out of your way to be as respectful as humanly possible. Yes it's unfair that lacrosse bros don't have to do it, and you do -- but why not go with it because that's the society in which you live.

I guess I just don't get why AAs can't accept -- yes the world is unfair, here's how to survive in it despite that. The dialogue is always -- the world is unfair is, white bros don't have to deal with this. That's true they don't -- but since you as an AA must deal with it, why not find ways to do so??

Why are you assuming this conversation isn't happening? Because all your black friends tell you it isn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Whites will the be the minority in the future, with Hispanics being the majority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think that many AA people teach their children to distrust and dislike whites because they think we are all potentially racists. What I find amusing about this is that they are ignoring the many other non-AA people in our country who are just as likely to be prejudiced against them.

When the AAs become the true minority numbers-wise and have no allies on any side due to years of holding themselves out as the main victim minority, THEN they will really have something to worry about.

Would you similarly conclude that many white people teach their children to distrust and dislike AA's because they think they're all potentially criminal? Do you find that amusingly absurd considering society's continued history or would you say its mere coincidence that whites make such obtuse generalizations and hold such negative perceptions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you mentioned that if you had an AA child you would tell him that if the cops stop him and ask him to do something he should do it, even if it's dumb even if it accuses him unfairly or whatever. You said that you would deal with fixing the situation later he just needs to make it out of the situation alive. That's wise advice and it's advice that many AA parents do in fact impart upon their children. Still, if you were AA you would know that first of all there is no "fixing the situation later" because there's nothing to fix; they're black there's no way to change that. Secondly, if you were AA you would know that while encouraging your child to follow that rule of thumb may indeed be wise it isn't exactly easy in terms of doing it continually and consistently throughout ones life. Everyone has their breaking point.

For example, consider Rosa Parks. She was a quiet and compliant black woman in the segregated South who theoretically could have conceded to to stay quiet and compliant in order to avoid confrontation and instead patiently bide her time till conditions changed, but one day she just got "tired of giving in" and realized that being recognized and respected as a human being was not something to wait for and hope to see someday. She didn't refuse to move to the colored section of the bus to start a movement or to be a hero, she refused to move because she believed she had rights as a human being and she was weary of others dismissing and disrespecting those rights. She knew there would be consequences for her actions - she could very well have been bashed upside the head by the police or malled by an angry mob. Luckily as it turned out she was only arrested and fired from her job as a seamstress in a local department store, but still she suffered those consequences and she concluded that those consequences for defending her rights and dignity as a human being was a price well worth paying.

Now don't get me wrong, no one is comparing Michael Brown in Ferguson or Eric Garner in Staten Island to Rosa Parks by any means, nor is anyone saying that any and every belligerent black person who dares to defy the police is a civil rights icon either, but the sentiments and motivations behind their actions are largely the same. Plain and simply put, at some point people get tired of giving in. At some point people get frustrated and fatigued with following orders that betray their basic human rights and at some point every black man and black woman reaches that point where enough is enough.
"I should be able to stand here if I want. I should be able to sit here if I want. I should be able to walk here if I want. I shouldn't have to move just because I'm black."

Sometimes the end result of their disobedience is epic. Sometimes the end result of their disobedience is tragic. Most times the end result of their disobedience is neither - it's negligent - just another all too common unfortunate life experience that comes with being an African-American. If you were AA you would be all too familiar with such experiences and consequently you would understand that it's not a simple matter of pulling up ones pants and being polite. Ask your black friends and neighbors and co-workers if they've ever had such moments of fatigue and frustration and if they've ever found themselves in such situations and confrontations as a result. You may be surprised to find out that they all will be able to share stories with you of times when they just simply had enough and got tired of giving in and determinedly demanded the respect they felt they deserved as a human being.

AA parents do indeed talk to their children about the harsh realities of how they are predominantly perceived throughout society, but even when armed with that knowledge and aware of how best to deal with certain situations it still doesn't insulate their children from the daily wear and tear of it all or give them the strength to endure the daily doses of dehumanization. Unfortunately there are no words to prepare them for that. Unfortunately experience is not only the best teacher but the only teacher when it comes to that.