Why do black people self-segregate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?

Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.

I am African American and live in Potomac. Your post is beyond ignorant. I live here with my family bc I like the house we bought, real estate values and recourses including schools (church hill district), even though my child attends private full fare. We do attend a black church, bc most everyone gets comfort from seeing themselves reflected in the eyes of peers sometimes. I also know that no one there will assume that I live and host BBQs in SE. It gives me a moment to just be myself without idiots trying to project their rude biases onto me or my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?

Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.

I am African American and live in Potomac. Your post is beyond ignorant. I live here with my family bc I like the house we bought, real estate values and recourses including schools (church hill district), even though my child attends private full fare. We do attend a black church, bc most everyone gets comfort from seeing themselves reflected in the eyes of peers sometimes. I also know that no one there will assume that I live and host BBQs in SE. It gives me a moment to just be myself without idiots trying to project their rude biases onto me or my family.

OT but would you accept a diversity type scholarship if offered to your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is difficult for some white people to accept that some AAs (or other persons from ethnic or minority groups) may not be interested in getting to know them.

I've been thinking about this. In an area like DC, there are a lot of people of different ethnicities and backgrounds. It's not that difficult to make friends across cultural and ethnic lines. There are areas, however, which aren't as diverse and where it can be quite a challenge to cross racial boundaries in making friends. IME, white people are told from the cradle that if they don't have friends of different ethnicities, races, and cultures, they're displaying racist tendencies. So those things conflict - I'm supposed to have black friends, I don't encounter that many black people on a day-to-day basis, and the ones I do encounter don't want to hang out with me. And since *I* am doing what I'm supposed to be doing, it must be those black people who are doing something wrong!

This, by the way, might just be why it can be offensive to people of other races when white people ask "why don't They want to be my friend?"

If you encounter few enough people of a different race or ethnicity that you're struggling to build friendships with them, start there. Ask why you're not encountering more. Are you self-segregating by the playgrounds, malls, and churches you frequent? If so, then why put the burden on them?

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it's a little problematic that you see it is a recurring theme that black people don't pursue/aren't open to a friendship with you. I'm sure that there are many explanations since you're talking about different people in different places over a long period of time. So what it was with individual girls in college may not be what it is with individual women you work with in your thirties. I'm sure you haven't meshed with people of other races in the past 15-20 years, but it doesn't sound like you're chalking those experiences up to race.

[Anonymous]

I genuinely feel if we were to reinstate slavery today most of you would sell me up or down the river.

[Anonymous]

This is why I don't come to DCUM. There's always something stupid on the first page. The people of Babycenter might be smarter than a good chunk of DCUMers.

Seriously, imagine coming to DCUM and seeing threads attacking your race every.freaking.time. Not a welcoming environment.

OP, put on your critical thinking cap or get to some scholarly web searching. Or continue with your current pattern of thinking. Because of course, things like white flight don't exist and white people don't self-segregate and black people are just big old cliquish meanies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How come when a group of friends get together who happen to be black it's called "SELF SEGREGATION" but when a group of white people get together it's called a luau or a backyard bbq?

Preach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I genuinely feel if we were to reinstate slavery today most of you would sell me up or down the river.

Lol. This is a sad kind of funny, but I have to agree with PP. maybe that's what it comes down to. I have to wonder if it were legal, would you still try to own me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?

Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.

I am African American and live in Potomac. Your post is beyond ignorant. I live here with my family bc I like the house we bought, real estate values and recourses including schools (church hill district), even though my child attends private full fare. We do attend a black church, bc most everyone gets comfort from seeing themselves reflected in the eyes of peers sometimes. I also know that no one there will assume that I live and host BBQs in SE. It gives me a moment to just be myself without idiots trying to project their rude biases onto me or my family.

Take the black stick out your ass, the post was pure sarcasm, geez... You totally turned white now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I don't come to DCUM. There's always something stupid on the first page. The people of Babycenter might be smarter than a good chunk of DCUMers.

Seriously, imagine coming to DCUM and seeing threads attacking your race every.freaking.time. Not a welcoming environment.

OP, put on your critical thinking cap or get to some scholarly web searching. Or continue with your current pattern of thinking. Because of course, things like white flight don't exist and white people don't self-segregate and black people are just big old cliquish meanies.

Yet here you are posting.

[Anonymous]

I was born in Europe, but now live here.I don't have any American friends.I think they self-segregate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I don't come to DCUM. There's always something stupid on the first page. The people of Babycenter might be smarter than a good chunk of DCUMers.

Seriously, imagine coming to DCUM and seeing threads attacking your race every.freaking.time. Not a welcoming environment.

OP, put on your critical thinking cap or get to some scholarly web searching. Or continue with your current pattern of thinking. Because of course, things like white flight don't exist and white people don't self-segregate and black people are just big old cliquish meanies.

Yet here you are posting.

Yes, here I am posting. Your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

Seriously consider therapy. You have major issues.

Yeah as fellow negro, you just disgusted me. It has nothing to do with your perceived success, I'm just mad that I read a run - on paragraph of of you boasting and bragging and not one point relevant to the topic.

The person who wrote this is not black. Period. No on is fooled by this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I don't come to DCUM. There's always something stupid on the first page. The people of Babycenter might be smarter than a good chunk of DCUMers.

Seriously, imagine coming to DCUM and seeing threads attacking your race every.freaking.time. Not a welcoming environment.

OP, put on your critical thinking cap or get to some scholarly web searching. Or continue with your current pattern of thinking. Because of course, things like white flight don't exist and white people don't self-segregate and black people are just big old cliquish meanies.

Yours is the best post. That's it in a nutshell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genuine question, NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE. I'm just perplexed that the AA community in my experience tends to be so cliquey and only socializes among themselves. I see this all the time in the workplace, and I saw it in college too. I mean, black fraternities and black sororities in college was understandable, because the AA community had to endure the Jim Crow era and most other minority groups emigrated to America after the civil rights movement. But while I've always managed to establish surface-friendly connections with black classmates and black colleagues, it's not like they invite me to movies or summer barbeques or get drinks with me every week - but classmates and colleagues of other races intermingle so easily. (I'm a white female, early thirties, married to a white male).

Even if you look at Silicon Valley (where we lived before moving to DC), you see every race intermingling and starting companies and new products in the tech industry, except from the AA community.

Is it self-segregation? AA people live in their own bubble and their own sub-culture and don't really come out of it. And they view you with wariness and a sense of uncertainty even when you're being really nice and friendly to them, and they're being nice and friendly back to you - but still that uncertainty is there and you can see it in their eyes. "Like, who is this girl? I don't feel comfortable talking to her." I've had that experience repeatedly with AA women - never with women of other groups.

Again, I'm NOT trying to offend, this is just something that I have observed personally.

Okay, I here you. How about we meet and you bring a few of your friends to play bid whist? Don't know how to play? Sorry, cultural card game. Okay, about you come by and twist my hair paying attention to my scalp and bring some of your haircare products with you. Oh, that's right. I forgot. Okay, then. Come on by and bring some soul food with you. Don't eat that? Well, okay. How about you come by and we'll watch some old Richard Pryor comedy routines and....say, what? Okay, you don't know who he is. Well, okay. Then just come on by and we'll watch reruns of Friends and then we'll watch reruns of Living Single and...now, what??!! Okay, how about you come by and we'll put on some oldies and two-step just like we use to....say, what. Oh, just forget it. See you at work on Monday.

You get my drift, OP? It's not self-segregation nor a bubble. It's having and enjoying things that are cultural specific. And damn it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There is absolutely, positively nothing wrong with AA people wanting to share things in their own culture that don't include you and vice versa