Men are only as Faithful as their Options

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married over 20 years. I've never cheated on DW and don't plan to. I've had chances, had temptations. Have I thought about it? Yes, in some realm of fantasy. My conscience would give me away if I carried it out. I'd be a nervous wreck, knowing I'd done something that serious to her.

Would it be possible for a woman to lure me or entrap me at a weak moment? Anything is possible but still not likely. I don't play near the edge. I don't hang out at bars or other meeting places. I have female friends but we do not hang out together. In fact, most of them are DW's friends too. Not being in close private quarters with other women limits my exposure and my risk of falling.

I think this is a great point. There are ways to affair-proof your marriage. They are not 100% but they definitely can decrease the likelihood. I make decisions all the time "not go there." My husband had an emotional affair and I didn't want to be the woman with low self worth who did the revenge affair, emotional or physical. In my weaker moments I thought of it but realized it would just be me meeting him at the lowest rung, and didn't see our marriage recovering from that.

We recovered by the way. There are worst things than infidelity (though there were moments where it felt like there wasn't) and they can be a great wake up call for both people.

+ 1. Totally agree with this.

A man can limit temptations or he can invite them in. The one who has boundaries and respects his wife will not cheat. The man who invites temptation by exposing himself to opportunities will probably eventually cheat.

It's called "occasion of sin.". We are to avoid occasions of sin.

[Anonymous]

A man will always bang a woman if the right opportunity and circumstances arise. Simple as that. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. You can close the thread now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man will always bang a woman if the right opportunity and circumstances arise. Simple as that. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. You can close the thread now.

That's a rationalization of the wrongdoer: everyone is doing it.

It's false.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I do think men would cheat if given the opportunity. At least most men. I think it was Chris Rock that said in a standup that men are only as honest as their opportunities at any given point in time. Men are hardwired to want & need sex. They also aren't the best communicators. Physical need for sex greater than their partner combined with lack of ability to effectively communicate with their partner and it's almost a recipe for disaster.

Women, do not discount the importance of sex to your partner. Men, do not discount the importance of communication with your partner. If you're thinking of straying, you need to tell them. Seriously, we don't get it. This is coming from a woman who wished her husband would have told her he was seriously considering cheating vs her finding out and trying to pick up the pieces. It wasn't until this happened that I truly realized he needed his sexuality validated every bit as much as I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man will always bang a woman if the right opportunity and circumstances arise. Simple as that. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. You can close the thread now.

That's a rationalization of the wrongdoer: everyone is doing it.

It's false.

It's not a rationalization, it's an answer to a question. Nowhere in there does it say "everyone is doing it", or anything close to it. Try reading more carefully before posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I do think men would cheat if given the opportunity. At least most men. I think it was Chris Rock that said in a standup that men are only as honest as their opportunities at any given point in time. Men are hardwired to want & need sex. They also aren't the best communicators. Physical need for sex greater than their partner combined with lack of ability to effectively communicate with their partner and it's almost a recipe for disaster.

Women, do not discount the importance of sex to your partner. Men, do not discount the importance of communication with your partner. If you're thinking of straying, you need to tell them. Seriously, we don't get it. This is coming from a woman who wished her husband would have told her he was seriously considering cheating vs her finding out and trying to pick up the pieces. It wasn't until this happened that I truly realized he needed his sexuality validated every bit as much as I do.

So did your husband cheat or you found out before he cheated?

How did you find out?

[Anonymous]

In the real world, what man seriously has the time to cheat? Between working 40-50 hours per week, the kids, yard work, etc. who the hell has the time and energy for that? A family man who has his priorities straight would never have the opportunity, desire, or energy for another woman. He would pour whatever he had in having sex with his wife. His wife is always there, a sure thing, and he doesn't have to date her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the real world, what man seriously has the time to cheat? Between working 40-50 hours per week, the kids, yard work, etc. who the hell has the time and energy for that? A family man who has his priorities straight would never have the opportunity, desire, or energy for another woman. He would pour whatever he had in having sex with his wife. His wife is always there, a sure thing, and he doesn't have to date her.

Try over 50 hours per week and traveling. Seriously, with a demanding job, wife, and kids, looking for another woman is not even on my radar. Sometimes women at work play a game where they dress seductively as some kind of power game and I do not even look. It's stupid on their part and I do not like corporate politics to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I do think men would cheat if given the opportunity. At least most men. I think it was Chris Rock that said in a standup that men are only as honest as their opportunities at any given point in time. Men are hardwired to want & need sex. They also aren't the best communicators. Physical need for sex greater than their partner combined with lack of ability to effectively communicate with their partner and it's almost a recipe for disaster.

Women, do not discount the importance of sex to your partner. Men, do not discount the importance of communication with your partner. If you're thinking of straying, you need to tell them. Seriously, we don't get it. This is coming from a woman who wished her husband would have told her he was seriously considering cheating vs her finding out and trying to pick up the pieces. It wasn't until this happened that I truly realized he needed his sexuality validated every bit as much as I do.

The old evolutionary biology argument. But I will admit that when I see an attractive woman in whatever setting during the day, my wife is the beneficiary of any pent up sex dream from seeing this person.

[Anonymous]

The "men are hardwired for sex" thing doesn't really matter.

Life is full of trade offs and a lot of people get that. People like the idea of having someone to grow old with. It's hard to have kids with someone and then have a lot of options if you want to see the kids etc., so marriage and monogamy makes some sense.

Now, a one night stand here and there, okay. But many people who get married realize the trade offs and we do a lot of numbing and distracting ourselves from needs any way. No one really likes golf, for example, it's just something to get out of the house on the weekend and numb ourselves from our lives.

The vast majority of men don't have that many options. And everybody gets older and it limits your pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the basic premise of this thread. Cheating is not an option for me because as an underachieving slacker, what woman would be interested?

Don't sell yourself short, women love underachieving slackers.

Very true. The man then becomes a "project".

Best post so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the basic premise of this thread. Cheating is not an option for me because as an underachieving slacker, what woman would be interested?

Don't sell yourself short, women love underachieving slackers.

Very true. The man then becomes a "project".

Best post so far.

No, just chicks with low self esteem. And most of their orgasms are faked.

[Anonymous]

I think it is an insult to men to claim they will all cheat if given the opportunity.

And "all men are hard-wired for sex." So? Men are incapable of rising about their base animal instincts? Not true. People who have character and integrity don't cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the basic premise of this thread. Cheating is not an option for me because as an underachieving slacker, what woman would be interested?

Don't sell yourself short, women love underachieving slackers.

Very true. The man then becomes a "project".

Best post so far.

No, just chicks with low self esteem. And most of their orgasms are faked.

Now you tell me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is an insult to men to claim they will all cheat if given the opportunity.

And "all men are hard-wired for sex." So? Men are incapable of rising about their base animal instincts? Not true. People who have character and integrity don't cheat.

This reminds me of a conversation my daughter and son once had in the back of the mini van when they were 6 and 4. My son had taken a cookie and hid it till he got in the car.

My daughter said, "I can't believe you stole that."

My son was like, "Yeh, but it's ok no one knows."

My daughter then said, "But God knows."

My son, "I'm not so sure about that. I can't see him so I don't think he can see me."

I don't have to worry about the choices my daughter will make in life. My son, I'm not so sure.