My ex is engaged to a 24 year old

[Anonymous]

When I was 25, I briefly dated a 51 year old. I was an Assistant in BigLaw, he was one of the senior partners. I was flattered that someone seemingly so sophisticated, intelligent and rich would be interested in a "lowly assistant" like me. I enjoyed the attention, even though we never could find a lot to talk about outside of flirting. He was so much more well traveled and accomplished.

We snuck away for fancy lunches and he took me to dinners at some posh restaurants. Kissing him kind of repulsed me and I could never bring myself to have sex with him.

It fizzled ofcourse, but I sure enjoyed being whined and dined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably so thrilled to be having sex again that he's not thinking clearly.

+1 also thrilled to have sex again without having to close eyes

You're either some stupid 20-something GIRL or some pathetic male who never gets any.

Better a 20-something girl than an old hag like yourself, whose husband has either left, thinking of leaving, or wishing to.

NOt the poster you are responding to, but you do realize that you will not be 20-something forever? unless you die young, of course.

[Anonymous]

"Why does everyone on this board bash on 20 something year old women? You realize you were all once 20 something too, right? And I'm sure you were not worthless human beings then. I'm not the OP of that comment, but I am in my late 20s and SO tired of seeing comments on here that insinuate anyone under the age of 40 should be ashamed of themselves for having the gall to not be 40 and not being smart enough to age faster. "

Well, when I was 24 I knew that it would be dysfunctional to marry someone I barely knew, who had the responsibility of raising 3 kids, and who had just ended a long marriage. The fact that this 24 y.o. doesn't see that calls her maturity/sensibility into question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was 25, I briefly dated a 51 year old. I was an Assistant in BigLaw, he was one of the senior partners. I was flattered that someone seemingly so sophisticated, intelligent and rich would be interested in a "lowly assistant" like me. I enjoyed the attention, even though we never could find a lot to talk about outside of flirting. He was so much more well traveled and accomplished.

We snuck away for fancy lunches and he took me to dinners at some posh restaurants. Kissing him kind of repulsed me and I could never bring myself to have sex with him.

It fizzled ofcourse, but I sure enjoyed being whined and dined.

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Why does everyone on this board bash on 20 something year old women? You realize you were all once 20 something too, right? And I'm sure you were not worthless human beings then. I'm not the OP of that comment, but I am in my late 20s and SO tired of seeing comments on here that insinuate anyone under the age of 40 should be ashamed of themselves for having the gall to not be 40 and not being smart enough to age faster. "

Well, when I was 24 I knew that it would be dysfunctional to marry someone I barely knew, who had the responsibility of raising 3 kids, and who had just ended a long marriage. The fact that this 24 y.o. doesn't see that calls her maturity/sensibility into question.

Fully agree with you this 24 year old is unaware of the depth of what she's getting herself into with 3 stepkids and an ex-wife of 21 years. My frustration comes at seeing comments like this:

"You're either some stupid 20-something GIRL or some pathetic male who never gets any."

This kind of comment comes up on here ALL THE TIME. It comes up in WOHM/SAHM threads, it comes up in threads about how old/young we all had our children. The 40+ crowd on here has such disdain for anyone in their 20s as if there's no way possible that *some* 20 somethings are perfectly pleasant human beings. Why is it an insult on this board to be a 20 something? If someone says something offensive, they are automatically assumed to be a "stupid" 20 something year old woman or a sexless man? It's just annoying to read time and time again that if someone's opinion differs from another DCUM's, she must just be an ignorant 20 something, who will turn 40 one day and realize she's been a useless sack of shit these past 40 years. Surely you do not all look back on yourselves with such disdain for the adult you were at 28/29 just because you weren't yet 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Why does everyone on this board bash on 20 something year old women? You realize you were all once 20 something too, right? And I'm sure you were not worthless human beings then. I'm not the OP of that comment, but I am in my late 20s and SO tired of seeing comments on here that insinuate anyone under the age of 40 should be ashamed of themselves for having the gall to not be 40 and not being smart enough to age faster. "

Well, when I was 24 I knew that it would be dysfunctional to marry someone I barely knew, who had the responsibility of raising 3 kids, and who had just ended a long marriage. The fact that this 24 y.o. doesn't see that calls her maturity/sensibility into question.

Eh, when I was 30 I was engaged to my now spouse of 10 years after about 6 months of dating. Is it OK because I was 6 years older that the 24 yo, or is my relationship dysfunctional too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's probably so thrilled to be having sex again that he's not thinking clearly.

+1 also thrilled to have sex again without having to close eyes

You're either some stupid 20-something GIRL or some pathetic male who never gets any.

Better a 20-something girl than an old hag like yourself, whose husband has either left, thinking of leaving, or wishing to.

NOt the poster you are responding to, but you do realize that you will not be 20-something forever? unless you die young, of course.

GREAT LINE!!!

Shit happens, young one . . . shit happens!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Why does everyone on this board bash on 20 something year old women? You realize you were all once 20 something too, right? And I'm sure you were not worthless human beings then. I'm not the OP of that comment, but I am in my late 20s and SO tired of seeing comments on here that insinuate anyone under the age of 40 should be ashamed of themselves for having the gall to not be 40 and not being smart enough to age faster. "

Well, when I was 24 I knew that it would be dysfunctional to marry someone I barely knew, who had the responsibility of raising 3 kids, and who had just ended a long marriage. The fact that this 24 y.o. doesn't see that calls her maturity/sensibility into question.

Eh, when I was 30 I was engaged to my now spouse of 10 years after about 6 months of dating. Is it OK because I was 6 years older that the 24 yo, or is my relationship dysfunctional too?

Yes. In *most* cases, with age, comes maturity. Why? because the older you are, the more you will have automatically experienced just by virtue of being on this earth longer than a 24 year old. Many people use that experience to shape their life's decisions. Some don't of course but that is another conversation.

[Anonymous]

Damn, old women are bitter. I'm 31 and while I know aging is a part of the process of life, I pray I don't greet it with such bitterness.

[Anonymous]

I am happily married to a man almost 20 years older than I am. We've been married for over a decade and it's the best decision I've ever made. We're intellectual peers, enjoy doing many of the same things for fun, and are in the same general profession. We are both well-educated (ivy degrees), and are both professionally successful. He has two adult children from a previous marriage, one of whom has become one of my closest friends. No daddy issues here. No "gold digging." Just two people who found someone they could built a happy, and lasting, relationship with. It's well worth the reality that I may be more of a caregiver at a younger age, and that we'll need to deal with issues of aging at a younger age than I would otherwise. I have no views on the other aspects of OP's ex-husband's new relationship, but the more general derogatory comments and assumption about partners with age differences don't reflect the reality of my family or relationship at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am happily married to a man almost 20 years older than I am. We've been married for over a decade and it's the best decision I've ever made. We're intellectual peers, enjoy doing many of the same things for fun, and are in the same general profession. We are both well-educated (ivy degrees), and are both professionally successful. He has two adult children from a previous marriage, one of whom has become one of my closest friends. No daddy issues here. No "gold digging." Just two people who found someone they could built a happy, and lasting, relationship with. It's well worth the reality that I may be more of a caregiver at a younger age, and that we'll need to deal with issues of aging at a younger age than I would otherwise. I have no views on the other aspects of OP's ex-husband's new relationship, but the more general derogatory comments and assumption about partners with age differences don't reflect the reality of my family or relationship at all.

how old were you when you got married?

[Anonymous]

I found a lot of this thread very very funny and a great diversion on a Friday afternoon.

OP If you are still reading, I hope you too enjoyed the funny parts and ignored the rest.

I dated an UNmarried/no-kid 50 yr/old when I was in my late 20s. We didn't marry and yes, he was immature but we had fun and that relationship served its purpose (solving my Daddy issues...yeah, I admit it).

He had a super-hot body b/c he worked out a lot and wasn't bad looking. Really average looking with nice blue eyes.

And my grandmother became a grandmother at 38--my age! The south. Catholics. Kind of puts stuff into perspective.

OP: Try to be nice to the girl. It's good for your kids and karma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn, old women are bitter. I'm 31 and while I know aging is a part of the process of life, I pray I don't greet it with such bitterness.

I don't understand why you label us as bitter.

In my 46 years, I've seen quite a bit more than you have. The world isn't pretty. So while I tried to carve paths for my "younger sisters," I find many of you to be arrogant and self-serving. Maybe it's generational - and certainly does NOT apply to all, as I have many younger friends who don't fit that mold.

But your post oozes arrogance.

Come back in 10 years and let's discuss your vision of the world. Hopefully, you will have matured enough to learn that with age comes wisdom. But in your case, I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Hell, I'm 33, not quite an old hag but even I know that I was less mature than I am now at 24 and I will no doubt be more mature at 46 than I am now.

It's common sense, the longer you live, the more you learn. Unless you are one of those dumb as rocks folks stricken with arrested development.

Which is not to say that a 24 year old can't marry a 60 year old though. Whatever way it ends up, it is still a life lesson. One that will hopefully prove beneficial for both parties in hindsight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn, old women are bitter. I'm 31 and while I know aging is a part of the process of life, I pray I don't greet it with such bitterness.

I don't understand why you label us as bitter.

In my 46 years, I've seen quite a bit more than you have. The world isn't pretty. So while I tried to carve paths for my "younger sisters," I find many of you to be arrogant and self-serving. Maybe it's generational - and certainly does NOT apply to all, as I have many younger friends who don't fit that mold.

But your post oozes arrogance.

Come back in 10 years and let's discuss your vision of the world. Hopefully, you will have matured enough to learn that with age comes wisdom. But in your case, I doubt it.

"I don't understand why you label us as bitter."
Proceeds to unleash bitterness.

Only on DCUM.