Some thoughts on daycare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again -- and I'm NOT a lawyer -- I'm a middle school school teacher. My husband is a chef! Not lawyers and not making a ton of money, either.

Sorry PP, clarified upthread that I wasn't talking to you.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I found that the cheapest daycares are actually the least like warehouses. They're in-home daycares and they tend to have a very personal and familial vibe. The centers are MAD expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And with that ^^^ I'm off to nurse the baby for the first time tonight.

Too bad I'm such a shitty mother.

Don't get this at all except that it's completely unnecessarily defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And with that ^^^ I'm off to nurse the baby for the first time tonight.

Too bad I'm such a shitty mother.

Don't get this at all except that it's completely unnecessarily defensive.

pretty sure it was sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree OP. Childcare has allowed me and my husband to do our paying jobs, as well as raise a family. Good childcare is an amazing asset.

I'm also guessing you never made big bucks nor had a job you really loved. It makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in daycare but I'm still raising him. ?

You are part of raising him but someone still has to also be raising him while you are at work. His growth and development and learning and need for all the things you give him don't stop while you are at work. Someone else is responding to him, teaching him, shaping who he will be.

That's why you vet your selected caregivers carefully.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but if you wake up, get the child ready, take them somewhere, stay out all day long, pick them up feed them dinner and put them to sleep you're NOT raising your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if you wake up, get the child ready, take them somewhere, stay out all day long, pick them up feed them dinner and put them to sleep you're NOT raising your child.

Hey, fuck you. Have a nice night!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer PP here. I am not saying that my JD prepared me for child rearing. I am saying that the same qualities that made me successful at my career make me a good mother. I have been good at school, sports, well, most things, my whole life, and suspect many of the DCUM working moms are the same way. I am good at learning things, a hard worker, like doing things the right way without short cuts, etc. That is what makes people successful in all areas of life. Why on earth I would believe that the (maybe) high school graduates who do not speak English as a first language would be *better* at taking care of my kids who are learning to speak, think, etc., is beyond me, so when people say that of themselves, I cannot understand it. I understand what your preference is, but please stop acting like despite being a straight A student, varsity athlete, obtaining multiple degrees, speaking multiple languages, etc., like all of the successful and competent moms out there, you just would be doing junior a disservice if you tried your hand at child care.

You are a poor writer and an angry, bitter person. So yes, it is no surprise that you are not practicing. You were a mediocre lawyer who did medocre work at a third tier firm. You were never going to make very much money anyhow, as even your third tier firm would have counseled you out at sixth year, if not before. No one cares that you left. Go scrub your toilet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer PP here. I am not saying that my JD prepared me for child rearing. I am saying that the same qualities that made me successful at my career make me a good mother. I have been good at school, sports, well, most things, my whole life, and suspect many of the DCUM working moms are the same way. I am good at learning things, a hard worker, like doing things the right way without short cuts, etc. That is what makes people successful in all areas of life. Why on earth I would believe that the (maybe) high school graduates who do not speak English as a first language would be *better* at taking care of my kids who are learning to speak, think, etc., is beyond me, so when people say that of themselves, I cannot understand it. I understand what your preference is, but please stop acting like despite being a straight A student, varsity athlete, obtaining multiple degrees, speaking multiple languages, etc., like all of the successful and competent moms out there, you just would be doing junior a disservice if you tried your hand at child care.

You are a poor writer and an angry, bitter person. So yes, it is no surprise that you are not practicing. You were a mediocre lawyer who did medocre work at a third tier firm. You were never going to make very much money anyhow, as even your third tier firm would have counseled you out at sixth year, if not before. No one cares that you left. Go scrub your toilet.

Ha. I worked at two top tier firms and left when my part time salary was $225K, to the firm's disappointment. Kiss my ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if you wake up, get the child ready, take them somewhere, stay out all day long, pick them up feed them dinner and put them to sleep you're NOT raising your child.

Hey, fuck you. Have a nice night!

Your response was not actually very convincing if you're trying to say the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Lawyer PP here. I am not saying that my JD prepared me for child rearing. I am saying that the same qualities that made me successful at my career make me a good mother. I have been good at school, sports, well, most things, my whole life, and suspect many of the DCUM working moms are the same way. I am good at learning things, a hard worker, like doing things the right way without short cuts, etc. That is what makes people successful in all areas of life. Why on earth I would believe that the (maybe) high school graduates who do not speak English as a first language would be *better* at taking care of my kids who are learning to speak, think, etc., is beyond me, so when people say that of themselves, I cannot understand it. I understand what your preference is, but please stop acting like despite being a straight A student, varsity athlete, obtaining multiple degrees, speaking multiple languages, etc., like all of the successful and competent moms out there, you just would be doing junior a disservice if you tried your hand at child care.

This is the problem with former professionals making child rearing their new profession. Being ambitious your whole life and mastering various skills does not make you a good mom. It makes you into an overbearing, helicopter mom who craves constant evidence that their child is performing; winning- that the sacrifice of your career was worth it. It's the professionalization of child rearing that confuses children; that curtails their natural interests and drives; that makes our kids anxious to please their parents, uncertain of their own passions and desires. A good caretaker is someone who can recognize the individual strengths in children and encourage their growth into the best version of themselves (not a carbon copy of you). It's called child-centered care and anyone can be good at it if you recognize and value the potential in each person. Your children are not mini-me-s; they are not mini-versions of you; they are who they are. Stop looking to your children to demonstrate that giving up your career to raise them was worth the price- these are your issues, not theirs.

[Anonymous]

Didn't read all the responses but I genuinely believe it's better for a child to be surrounded by caregivers than with one person all day, whether that person is a nanny or a parent. In other cultures, it's not parent and baby all day - it's family members, people from the community, etc. my son is THRIVING in daycare - he's the smiliest, most sociable, sweetest and most respectful little thing I ever saw. I adore that there are so many loving people involved in his care.

[Anonymous]

And to the PP saying that her JD makes her better than those poor uneducated daycare workers - you're disgusting. I'm an Ivy grad and have much more respect for the incredible women at my son's daycare than for an elitist snob like you.

[Anonymous]

I love that our daycare workers are ESL... My kids are around a second language all day which is terrific for their intellectual development. Yet another advantage day care can provide that I cannot.

Sure, I could be an uber successful SAHM (well before I was a single parent anyway) but I don't have to be nor do I want to be. And if I had chosen that route, I would have been screwed at the demise of my marriage.... either by limited job opportunities because I stepped out of the workforce or by having to stay in a miserable situation. I really think that SAHM are putting themselves in a risky position by not continuing to work at least part time.... You never know what can happen. My marriage dissolved in 5 days with no warning. if you're a SAHM, what would you do if that happened?