Why Is My 16 Year Old Son A Raging Asshat?

[Anonymous]

Update update update!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spoiled.

Why would you waste your money on college for a kid that doesn't give a damn. Sorry. OP, but somewhere along the line you and DH created this monster because this kind of behavior doesn't happen overnight, unless he has some serious mental and emotional problems. I have a family member with two kids just like this. The reason why: she and her DH gave the kids anything they wanted and spoiled them rotten.

Because if mom doesn't send him to college, what is she going to brag about on facebook? What will she tell all her friends when they ask what's Johnny up to?? Half the kids that "go to college" fail out because family and society pressures too many lazy idiots to enroll.

[Anonymous]

5/29/17
So, you have described my son exactly.
Please tell me his life improved and consequently yours did too.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he may be a sociopath.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my teen son and his mom. They are at each other almost daily like this, except when I step in he will stop. DW is a bit of a tiger mom and tries to control / check on what he is up to. Sometimes suspecting him of having wrong friends, even if he doesn't, and questions his computer usage constantly. She does not agree with electronic use other than for study purposes. I find it very hard to implement such standards. Then he calls her a b*** and f** you when it gets too heated up. It is getting little bit better now as I have constantly urged her to take a clamer approach. Problem is with high expectations he had given her when he was young. He used to say things like OPs son did, like he is going to be a millionaire and build a company, go to Ivy league, and how he is so much better than others in the activities he participated. There is also truth in many of things as he has excellened in almost everything he attempted, except for arts, and then he stops short of going for the absolute best in that field after getting better than 90% of the peer group. DW would like to see him in top 1% of something, which he kept promising, but as age goes by DW is realizing that none of that is happening. I have told her to let go of worrying about Ivy league and similar things, as he seems to be saying these things but not doing enough to get there. He might do well enough to go to one of the state universities like UVA, VT, or VCU. Good enough for me, but DW is worried things might slip even below that level if she doesn't keep up the nagging.

[Anonymous]

My son has a major issue with disrespect and says all kind of serious nasty things, even when told to not talk to me in a rude, down grading way, he still does so. His father will back me up sometimes but not all. He screams his head off at me and blames me for everything. He is 16.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he will be much happier when he leaves home OP. Anyway you can get him out of the house for the rest of the summer or next summer? Some sort if sports camp, it any camp willing to take him?

[Anonymous]

OP, you come across as overbearing and as a control freak. Give your poor son some space. Fighting over whether his bed is made is pointless and just driving a wedge between you. Be his supporter, not his boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds depressed to me. You need to make an appt to see someone and if you arent already, really try to be open to medication. I know teens will test you but this sounds a bit past that. And you dont want him dealing with depression on his own away from home. Better to get a handle on it now or at least rule it out before he goes off to school in a year or so. Not to mention protecting his school performance in his last year in HS ( assuming he is a senior this year by his age) for college apps.

I agree with this.

Yes, it might be nothing as real as depression. He may just be in an asshat phase that will pass in time.

But it really could be something more. He could be struggling and in pain underneath the bad attitude and disrespectful behavior. Teens are not known for dealing with their feeling directly and logically.

As he says, "It's summer, man." Great time to get him in to see a psychologist. Or a family counselor who would be able to talk with him together with you and DH and also with him alone. Even just six sessions before school starts could help give you a handle on what you're dealing with here.

[Anonymous]

If he's already an a-hole, what would Columbia do for him anyway? I read this because one of my 3 boys and I get nearly to blows due to our personalities....I wonder and fear I don't like him, but I love him and he is good...so is this kid. He's bored, maybe depressed, but most likely bored with all the structured BS. I think some people...maybe more boys than girls...loathe all this structured measurement and constant assessment. He doesn't care precisely because everyone and everything around him cares too much over too little: grades, task completion, sports, etc etc....he will think the same about college, so don't expect him to go. He won't, or he will quit. He can do better without it.

[Anonymous]

So I was searching the word “rude” b/c I cannot be the only parent dealing with a teen who can, at times, just be so F$ing rude…. And then I found this post. It’s been 13 years and your son would now be 29. If you’re still here, would love an update! How did he turn out? What do our futures hold??? (What a fascinating sociological undertaking this would be to hear from you.)

[Anonymous]

Man. This @hole kid is 28 years old now. I would LOVE to know what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I was searching the word “rude” b/c I cannot be the only parent dealing with a teen who can, at times, just be so F$ing rude…. And then I found this post. It’s been 13 years and your son would now be 29. If you’re still here, would love an update! How did he turn out? What do our futures hold??? (What a fascinating sociological undertaking this would be to hear from you.)

I was wondering why the hell this thread was bumped up. I think it's a stretch to believe that a poster from 2011 is still hanging out on these boards. Not saying it's impossible, but that was a long time ago....

[Anonymous]

He’s being an ass but that level of stubbornness sometimes leads to life success, so dont get too depressed about it. People like this when they mature can be the types to take risks to do what they want in life rather than what others tell them they want. Let him feel the consequences of his choices and learn from them rather than you tell him how he needs to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I was searching the word “rude” b/c I cannot be the only parent dealing with a teen who can, at times, just be so F$ing rude…. And then I found this post. It’s been 13 years and your son would now be 29. If you’re still here, would love an update! How did he turn out? What do our futures hold??? (What a fascinating sociological undertaking this would be to hear from you.)

I was wondering why the hell this thread was bumped up. I think it's a stretch to believe that a poster from 2011 is still hanging out on these boards. Not saying it's impossible, but that was a long time ago....

It’s possible but it’s highly unlikely she’s reading the teen section now. I was on here back then but looking at the baby and preschool stuff. Now I’m reading the teen and college forums.