If DH just informed wants divorce…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What will happen with child custody this summer with our 2 young kids (7 and 4)?

DH has not filed yet. We are both finding attorneys. He plans to move out of state and wants to take them with him for a long period this summer. Sounds crazy to me and not good for our kids.

What will happen and what do I need to do?

(Yes, I am finding an attorney and googling around, but if anyone has experience with this I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks.)

Nope.

Not allowed. Unclear why he would do that so abruptly to such young children. Take them away from the other parent for “a long period of time”?

That’s not how kicking off a separation or divorce works.

Tell him that (a) HE needs to file, then (b) you both will work out temp/separation custody plans and temp child support, until you mediate everything else.
Until that happens the young children stay in their current home and do their current day cares, camps, routine, sports and short already planned vacations.

Also once HE files, someone also needs to freeze the assets (all bank and trading accounts) and then they get split in half during separation. They may get further divied up later.

[Anonymous]

When you asked WHY he is moving, what did he say? Is he changing jobs as well? Another woman as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will happen with child custody this summer with our 2 young kids (7 and 4)?

DH has not filed yet. We are both finding attorneys. He plans to move out of state and wants to take them with him for a long period this summer. Sounds crazy to me and not good for our kids.

What will happen and what do I need to do?

(Yes, I am finding an attorney and googling around, but if anyone has experience with this I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks.)

Nope.

Not allowed. Unclear why he would do that so abruptly to such young children. Take them away from the other parent for “a long period of time”?

That’s not how kicking off a separation or divorce works.

Tell him that (a) HE needs to file, then (b) you both will work out temp/separation custody plans and temp child support, until you mediate everything else.
Until that happens the young children stay in their current home and do their current day cares, camps, routine, sports and short already planned vacations.

Also once HE files, someone also needs to freeze the assets (all bank and trading accounts) and then they get split in half during separation. They may get further divied up later.

You can't make him file and it's not just up to you that any of that happens. The way you get that is by filing yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

Excellent advice, every word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will happen with child custody this summer with our 2 young kids (7 and 4)?

DH has not filed yet. We are both finding attorneys. He plans to move out of state and wants to take them with him for a long period this summer. Sounds crazy to me and not good for our kids.

What will happen and what do I need to do?

(Yes, I am finding an attorney and googling around, but if anyone has experience with this I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks.)

Nope.

Not allowed. Unclear why he would do that so abruptly to such young children. Take them away from the other parent for “a long period of time”?

That’s not how kicking off a separation or divorce works.

Tell him that (a) HE needs to file, then (b) you both will work out temp/separation custody plans and temp child support, until you mediate everything else.
Until that happens the young children stay in their current home and do their current day cares, camps, routine, sports and short already planned vacations.

Also once HE files, someone also needs to freeze the assets (all bank and trading accounts) and then they get split in half during separation. They may get further divied up later.

You can't make him file and it's not just up to you that any of that happens. The way you get that is by filing yourself.

No kids solo long vacation unless he files and you work out temp custody for the year.

It’s that simple.

[Anonymous]

Why is he acting like he wants Op to file for divorce?

What a lazy jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

+1. The problem is not him spending time with them solo at his new home. That's fine. But if you have order set up before he goes, it will be much easier and faster to get it enforced than to have to start with filing and getting an order when he's already out of state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will happen with child custody this summer with our 2 young kids (7 and 4)?

DH has not filed yet. We are both finding attorneys. He plans to move out of state and wants to take them with him for a long period this summer. Sounds crazy to me and not good for our kids.

What will happen and what do I need to do?

(Yes, I am finding an attorney and googling around, but if anyone has experience with this I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks.)

Nope.

Not allowed. Unclear why he would do that so abruptly to such young children. Take them away from the other parent for “a long period of time”?

That’s not how kicking off a separation or divorce works.

Tell him that (a) HE needs to file, then (b) you both will work out temp/separation custody plans and temp child support, until you mediate everything else.
Until that happens the young children stay in their current home and do their current day cares, camps, routine, sports and short already planned vacations.

Also once HE files, someone also needs to freeze the assets (all bank and trading accounts) and then they get split in half during separation. They may get further divied up later.

You can't make him file and it's not just up to you that any of that happens. The way you get that is by filing yourself.

No kids solo long vacation unless he files and you work out temp custody for the year.

It’s that simple.

She can't force him to file, and she can't prevent him from taking the kids without an order. So, she needs to file.

Right now, OP's STBX can legally take the kids anywhere in the US, and keep them there until OP files to get them back.

[Anonymous]

[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

Excellent advice, every word.

Except nobody is going to freeze accounts unless there is evidence he’s dissipating the marital funds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

Excellent advice, every word.

Except nobody is going to freeze accounts unless there is evidence he’s dissipating the marital funds

If he's suddenly announcing a move that might be sign.

[Anonymous]

No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

How would it be fraud? They are legally dad’s children, and dad can legally have a different primary residence from mom, even if they’re married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

Excellent advice, every word.

There has to be a factual basis for these allegations or else OP will end up losing the motion and paying her husband's attorneys fees for a bad faith filing.

All the husband ever said is he is leaving her and wants to take the kids for part of the summer. He didn't threaten her. He didn't threaten them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

How would it be fraud? They are legally dad’s children, and dad can legally have a different primary residence from mom, even if they’re married.

+1