Crazy paternity leave situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't automatically make him a bad person, OP, especially if there were office politics that meant he could never, realistically, take that much leave if he wanted to stay in the promotion lane.

But taken in the context of his divorce, it might indicate that he never prioritized his wife's wellbeing, and never challenged societal beliefs about mothers looking after children and fathers sticking to work.

I know plenty of fathers who didn't take their full leave, leaving their wives to fend for themselves with infants. Most of them are not divorced. They were afraid of being laid off or not taken seriously at work.

Not being taken seriously by… the other selfish AH’s like them?

How spineless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

But it doesn't stop with maternity leave. Lots of women want to get off the fast track and onto the mommy track and have more time with their kids. It limits the career but that's the choice they want to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't automatically make him a bad person, OP, especially if there were office politics that meant he could never, realistically, take that much leave if he wanted to stay in the promotion lane.

But taken in the context of his divorce, it might indicate that he never prioritized his wife's wellbeing, and never challenged societal beliefs about mothers looking after children and fathers sticking to work.

I know plenty of fathers who didn't take their full leave, leaving their wives to fend for themselves with infants. Most of them are not divorced. They were afraid of being laid off or not taken seriously at work.

Not being taken seriously by… the other selfish AH’s like them?

How spineless.

When you have kids you have people depending on you. Jobs aren't that easy to come by and everyone is replaceable. Feel free to gamble with your own career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

But it doesn't stop with maternity leave. Lots of women want to get off the fast track and onto the mommy track and have more time with their kids. It limits the career but that's the choice they want to make.

And lots of women don’t want to do that but end up mommy-tracked due to stereotypes, and lots of men feel confined by stereotypes that they’re the secondary caregiver. In an equitable world, many men and women would be interested in shifting work priorities and would be given the option to do so. Instead, after kids, men make more money and women make less money even after controlling for education levels and career breaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

But it doesn't stop with maternity leave. Lots of women want to get off the fast track and onto the mommy track and have more time with their kids. It limits the career but that's the choice they want to make.

And lots of women don’t want to do that but end up mommy-tracked due to stereotypes, and lots of men feel confined by stereotypes that they’re the secondary caregiver. In an equitable world, many men and women would be interested in shifting work priorities and would be given the option to do so. Instead, after kids, men make more money and women make less money even after controlling for education levels and career breaks.

You know women who got involuntarily mommy tracked? I don't know any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

Men often don’t get the same paternity leave. If I had another child my husband would get zero leave. He has no pto, sick leave or anything else. He’s hourly.

[Anonymous]

The relevant point here is that he didn’t respect her enough to be honest, which means divorce is the right call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

But it doesn't stop with maternity leave. Lots of women want to get off the fast track and onto the mommy track and have more time with their kids. It limits the career but that's the choice they want to make.

And lots of women don’t want to do that but end up mommy-tracked due to stereotypes, and lots of men feel confined by stereotypes that they’re the secondary caregiver. In an equitable world, many men and women would be interested in shifting work priorities and would be given the option to do so. Instead, after kids, men make more money and women make less money even after controlling for education levels and career breaks.

You know women who got involuntarily mommy tracked? I don't know any.

Yes, I’ve litigated class actions on this…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

Men often don’t get the same paternity leave. If I had another child my husband would get zero leave. He has no pto, sick leave or anything else. He’s hourly.

In DC and soon in Virginia, every parent gets 12 weeks of paid parental leave to use within the first year of birth, including hourly employees.

But we’re obviously discussing employers that do offer paid paternity leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

My law firm hires temps when anyone takes leave, and no one is allowed to poach clients.

All of London does that too- temps and paid leave in full is 3 months from the company, then the other 1-9 months, if you take it, is at the taxpayer-funded weekly capped amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

Men often don’t get the same paternity leave. If I had another child my husband would get zero leave. He has no pto, sick leave or anything else. He’s hourly.

Same if you get preggo within 12 mos of hire date— no paid leave. Ie you can’t show up pregnant to a white collared job and take paid leave a few months later.

Maybe teachers union people can…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if a job offers it, often men cannot take it or they will be penalized. My husband took a few days. He got little leave. It sucked.

Did he lie to you about it?

No, he did not lie but most people cannot take off six weeks without risking their job. He lied as she wouldn’t listen.

Women take off more than six weeks ALL THE TIME.

Do you think that helps or hurts their career?

It only hurts women because men don’t take comparable leave when they have children…

But it doesn't stop with maternity leave. Lots of women want to get off the fast track and onto the mommy track and have more time with their kids. It limits the career but that's the choice they want to make.

And lots of women don’t want to do that but end up mommy-tracked due to stereotypes, and lots of men feel confined by stereotypes that they’re the secondary caregiver. In an equitable world, many men and women would be interested in shifting work priorities and would be given the option to do so. Instead, after kids, men make more money and women make less money even after controlling for education levels and career breaks.

You know women who got involuntarily mommy tracked? I don't know any.

Yes, I’ve litigated class actions on this…

Are you OP? Pretty strange OP hasn't come back.

[Anonymous]

Weeks 1&2 were hard. Weeks 3-6 were boring and having two people was overkill.