Can’t get husband to help with Easter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Some people don't care about holidays.

You say you have been asking him to get candy for two weeks. Sounds like you need to be more specific. "See these plastic eggs? I need you to get Easter-themed candy that will fit in them. They have little chocolate eggs, etc. Get several types. Today after work. Thank you."

You could do it yourself in less time, no angst, and fewer words. You can’t make him care or put your ideas in motion.

+1
I am aghast at how stupid the millenial women are. You husband does not care about chocolates in plastic eggs. You want to do it, then you do it. Otherwise, the payday bars and cash for your teen works just fine.

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t you buy the egg candy when you bought the basket candy? Just petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see the issue. You aren’t religious and all this could have been ordered online. Who goes to stores anymore?

Oh stop it with the religious stuff. You realize that many major Christian holidays are pegged to pagan holidays? And that the bunny is a symbol of fertility and spring?

Let people have their Easter egg hunts and baskets and stop being so insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Some people don't care about holidays.

You say you have been asking him to get candy for two weeks. Sounds like you need to be more specific. "See these plastic eggs? I need you to get Easter-themed candy that will fit in them. They have little chocolate eggs, etc. Get several types. Today after work. Thank you."

You could do it yourself in less time, no angst, and fewer words. You can’t make him care or put your ideas in motion.

+1
I am aghast at how stupid the millenial women are. You husband does not care about chocolates in plastic eggs. You want to do it, then you do it. Otherwise, the payday bars and cash for your teen works just fine.

They sacrifice efficiency and specialization for a false sense of equality that just makes them miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

They really aren’t though.

Not prior poster, but what the hell do you even mean?

PP said large percentage of Americans celebrate secular Easter. It is not true a that large percentage of Americans celebrate Easter as a purely secular holiday as OP wishes to do.

...it really is, though. Everyone I know who is a secular "Christian" (as in, not specifically of another religion, and whose relatives and/or ancestors are/ were Christian) does Easter baskets. Only about 20% of people I know who fit under the "Christian" umbrella attend church on Easter. And since Easter really is the Big Show in terms of importance in Christianity... I can only assume those people are not religious at all. But they still do Easter baskets and Easter brunch. It's incredibly common. Just like celebrating Christmas with a tree and gifts as a secular Christian without attending church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

They really aren’t though.

Not prior poster, but what the hell do you even mean?

PP said large percentage of Americans celebrate secular Easter. It is not true a that large percentage of Americans celebrate Easter as a purely secular holiday as OP wishes to do.

...it really is, though. Everyone I know who is a secular "Christian" (as in, not specifically of another religion, and whose relatives and/or ancestors are/ were Christian) does Easter baskets. Only about 20% of people I know who fit under the "Christian" umbrella attend church on Easter. And since Easter really is the Big Show in terms of importance in Christianity... I can only assume those people are not religious at all. But they still do Easter baskets and Easter brunch. It's incredibly common. Just like celebrating Christmas with a tree and gifts as a secular Christian without attending church.

Another person who refuses to look out from their own little world view. Let me guess - you’ve never actually looked up the stats but decided your own experience is sufficient to tell you about how Americans spend Easter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see the issue. You aren’t religious and all this could have been ordered online. Who goes to stores anymore?

Oh stop it with the religious stuff. You realize that many major Christian holidays are pegged to pagan holidays? And that the bunny is a symbol of fertility and spring?

Let people have their Easter egg hunts and baskets and stop being so insufferable.

Some of you sure are attached to your adult egg hunts and baskets. No one is preventing you from doing whatever you want. Just like if OP wants, she too should just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Some people don't care about holidays.

You say you have been asking him to get candy for two weeks. Sounds like you need to be more specific. "See these plastic eggs? I need you to get Easter-themed candy that will fit in them. They have little chocolate eggs, etc. Get several types. Today after work. Thank you."

You could do it yourself in less time, no angst, and fewer words. You can’t make him care or put your ideas in motion.

+1
I am aghast at how stupid the millenial women are. You husband does not care about chocolates in plastic eggs. You want to do it, then you do it. Otherwise, the payday bars and cash for your teen works just fine.

How unkind to paint a generation of women thus. Are you a man or just a bitter older woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Some people don't care about holidays.

You say you have been asking him to get candy for two weeks. Sounds like you need to be more specific. "See these plastic eggs? I need you to get Easter-themed candy that will fit in them. They have little chocolate eggs, etc. Get several types. Today after work. Thank you."

You could do it yourself in less time, no angst, and fewer words. You can’t make him care or put your ideas in motion.

+1
I am aghast at how stupid the millenial women are. You husband does not care about chocolates in plastic eggs. You want to do it, then you do it. Otherwise, the payday bars and cash for your teen works just fine.

Exactly this. My husband could care less about Easter or matter of fact Christmas shopping. But I do so I handle everything with the help of online ordering. Takes me 1 hour for ordering easter treats and gifts and 30 minutes to put baskets together.

If its something you enjoy doing then do it. You make yourself angry by expecting your husband to take on a task that is meaningless to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Some people don't care about holidays.

You say you have been asking him to get candy for two weeks. Sounds like you need to be more specific. "See these plastic eggs? I need you to get Easter-themed candy that will fit in them. They have little chocolate eggs, etc. Get several types. Today after work. Thank you."

You could do it yourself in less time, no angst, and fewer words. You can’t make him care or put your ideas in motion.

And feed weaponized incompetence? Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Some people don't care about holidays.

You say you have been asking him to get candy for two weeks. Sounds like you need to be more specific. "See these plastic eggs? I need you to get Easter-themed candy that will fit in them. They have little chocolate eggs, etc. Get several types. Today after work. Thank you."

You could do it yourself in less time, no angst, and fewer words. You can’t make him care or put your ideas in motion.

And feed weaponized incompetence? Ok.

The incompetence is not knowing how to get a simple job done. OP is a shitty delegator and leader.

[Anonymous]

I hate the patriarchy and it drives me crazy that all things holiday related are on me.

But I also wouldn’t want to F my husband if he was out there buying IG worthy baskets and filling them with special candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

They really aren’t though.

Not prior poster, but what the hell do you even mean?

PP said large percentage of Americans celebrate secular Easter. It is not true a that large percentage of Americans celebrate Easter as a purely secular holiday as OP wishes to do.

...it really is, though. Everyone I know who is a secular "Christian" (as in, not specifically of another religion, and whose relatives and/or ancestors are/ were Christian) does Easter baskets. Only about 20% of people I know who fit under the "Christian" umbrella attend church on Easter. And since Easter really is the Big Show in terms of importance in Christianity... I can only assume those people are not religious at all. But they still do Easter baskets and Easter brunch. It's incredibly common. Just like celebrating Christmas with a tree and gifts as a secular Christian without attending church.

Another person who refuses to look out from their own little world view. Let me guess - you’ve never actually looked up the stats but decided your own experience is sufficient to tell you about how Americans spend Easter?

So what are the stats? How many people celebrate Easter with egg hunts but don’t attend church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see the issue. You aren’t religious and all this could have been ordered online. Who goes to stores anymore?

Oh stop it with the religious stuff. You realize that many major Christian holidays are pegged to pagan holidays? And that the bunny is a symbol of fertility and spring?

Let people have their Easter egg hunts and baskets and stop being so insufferable.

Some of you sure are attached to your adult egg hunts and baskets. No one is preventing you from doing whatever you want. Just like if OP wants, she too should just do it.

NP and exactly this. OP is trying to act like this is as important as actual religious celebrations, or milestones/occasions that both partners actively choose to celebrate. For some, that is Christmas, whether or not they are Christian; for others, it is Super Bowl Sunday; for some, it is Fourth of July.

The point is: both partners have to actually agree that The Thing in question is A Thing worthy of time, effort, money, investment of energy.

Otherwise, if you want to go all out for Easter? Do that, then. But acting like DH must participate at the level OP dictates when they don’t even practice the religion which is at the center of the holiday is just…asinine, really.

If he wants to make a big deal out of the Super Bowl, would he have the right to dictate that OP help him cook, clean, invite people over, prepare special foods and watch the whole game at the level that he dictates? If any husband were to write that he “can’t get wife to help with Super Bowl,” we’d tear him apart and laugh in his face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

They really aren’t though.

Not prior poster, but what the hell do you even mean?

PP said large percentage of Americans celebrate secular Easter. It is not true a that large percentage of Americans celebrate Easter as a purely secular holiday as OP wishes to do.

...it really is, though. Everyone I know who is a secular "Christian" (as in, not specifically of another religion, and whose relatives and/or ancestors are/ were Christian) does Easter baskets. Only about 20% of people I know who fit under the "Christian" umbrella attend church on Easter. And since Easter really is the Big Show in terms of importance in Christianity... I can only assume those people are not religious at all. But they still do Easter baskets and Easter brunch. It's incredibly common. Just like celebrating Christmas with a tree and gifts as a secular Christian without attending church.

Another person who refuses to look out from their own little world view. Let me guess - you’ve never actually looked up the stats but decided your own experience is sufficient to tell you about how Americans spend Easter?

So what are the stats? How many people celebrate Easter with egg hunts but don’t attend church?

I'm not that PP buy my church was standing room only at 8am. You had to get there by 7 to get a seat and that was the first of 3 services. My dad in another state gave up and went home because the lot was full. Plenty of people were attending church today.