Guac and queso if you make over $450k

[Anonymous]

I think that it is common to look for small savings when large savings loom. Maybe examine your car note and gas costs and metro instead. Take a look at your mortgage and consider a refinance or a move. Look at what are you spending on clothes, hair, nails and consider cutting back on those things. Fixating on an add on at a child's meal is not getting you substantial savings and is tinkering at the margins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP.

I come from a family that watched every penny and we rarely ordered appetizers and had much lower bills than other families.

My DH is a spender who has large tabs and would never even question adding things on.

Now it’s fine because we have plenty of money but if anything changed we’d be screwed. He will spend $10 on bottled waters at the gas station.

Me too. DH and I came from very different backgrounds. My parents made a decent living but going out to eat was rare and when we did, TGIFridays seemed like fine dining. Getting extras was not something that we did, we were just happy to be at a "nice" restaurant.

DH apparently ordered whatever he wanted because that's how he orders now. He sees something on a menu--he has to have it. Last night, we were at dinner (at a place that was already pricier than it should have been) and he ordered dinner rolls for two for $7. And when two rolls came out, he was surprised that there wasn't one for all four of us. The menu literally said "for two" but again, he doesn't think that far. He sees it, he orders it. $7 for two rolls, ridiculous. There have been times where he will order something and I just look at the server and shake my head no.

But to answer your question, if we are ordering Chipotle, we usually get a large chips and guac so I just tell them to use that guac. It's about the same money and you get more guac that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You see very controlling.

Well, yes, I do try to control my budget. I don't control the calories they eat and they can get as many free items as they want in their bowl. We also don't order drinks out, just water. If my kids want a soda, they are welcome to it and they know that, but they usually get water. I asked my son if he wants double meat in the future and he said yes and I have no problem paying extra for that. I think my issue is the queso, because you can get cheese for free!

My kids get chipotle weekly, so this is not a treat situation.

You are willing to pay for extra meat but not queso. You are being oddly controlling about your kids food choices. Stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This stuff seems crazy to me. It really doesn’t add up. Let’s say that you go to Chipotle and spend an extra $6, rent a $4 movie, get some gum for $6, get coffee at Starbucks for $8, and buy a book instead of getting it at the library for $16. That’s $40. If you or your kids or your husband do stuff like this every week for a year, that’s about $2000.

If you are making $450k/yr, you can probably make $2000 after taxes in a weekend. Speaking of taxes, you probably cannot calculate your taxes to within $2000 for the year. You also probably don’t make exactly $450k. You might make $453k or $448k. It doesn’t matter, because it’s pretty much the same.

If pinching pennies is a value that you have and that you want to teach your kids, then please, go ahead. If you think that penny pinching is going to make any realistic difference in your finances, the math ain’t mathing.

Yes, but you assume you are only overspending on a few concrete things. Imagine doing that every time you eat out, or my son hangs out with his friends, or getting daily Starbucks. Imagine this unintentional spending is $20 a day. That's $7300 a year.

Which, at a salary of 450k, is de minimis.

Um, what?! That is two mortgage payments or a spring break vacation.

It is about 1.5% of the OP's AHI. That is di minimis. Everything is relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a contractor and I always let my workers pick the options…I pay and don’t make as much as you

I love you for this.

[Anonymous]

You're a weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t nickel and dime your kids on their dinner. I grew up lmc and Ponderosa was a rare dinner out— and my mother never allowed me to get sour cream on my potato because it cost extra. Ridiculous and controlling.

Is there a Ponderosa somewhere around Boonsboro/Frederick Maryland area? Is that the same place Jackie Christie is always talking about and is it worth a visit?

Wut.

I got all excited and looked up Ponderosa, which I didn't even know still existed, and it looks like there is one outside of Pittsburgh? I'm not seeing one in MD. I totally might drive all the way there, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP.

I come from a family that watched every penny and we rarely ordered appetizers and had much lower bills than other families.

My DH is a spender who has large tabs and would never even question adding things on.

Now it’s fine because we have plenty of money but if anything changed we’d be screwed. He will spend $10 on bottled waters at the gas station.

Me too. DH and I came from very different backgrounds. My parents made a decent living but going out to eat was rare and when we did, TGIFridays seemed like fine dining. Getting extras was not something that we did, we were just happy to be at a "nice" restaurant.

DH apparently ordered whatever he wanted because that's how he orders now. He sees something on a menu--he has to have it. Last night, we were at dinner (at a place that was already pricier than it should have been) and he ordered dinner rolls for two for $7. And when two rolls came out, he was surprised that there wasn't one for all four of us. The menu literally said "for two" but again, he doesn't think that far. He sees it, he orders it. $7 for two rolls, ridiculous. There have been times where he will order something and I just look at the server and shake my head no.

But to answer your question, if we are ordering Chipotle, we usually get a large chips and guac so I just tell them to use that guac. It's about the same money and you get more guac that way.

This is so interesting. It's so cultural and really has little to do with how much money the person has/makes. My old money grandmother (I mean, truly 20th century old money culture here, her father made millions in manufacturing in the early 20th century, and it has lasted all the way down into my generation) had us all go to Chi Chi's for her birthday and we all knew that 1) you do NOT order the most expensive thing (unless the host suggests it), and 2) absolutely no appetizers (unless the host suggests it). I don't remember going out to dinner with her at any other time, except for her birthday at Chi Chi's, and occasionally at the country club because you had to spend a min amount on food anyway. Restaurants were for special occasions, you were conservative about what you ordered, and that is just how it was. It had nothing to do with whether or not they had a lot of money.

That said, OP is penny pinching in an ugly way -- just let the kids have their darn guac and queso.

[Anonymous]

Watching costs and going to Chipotle. Does not compute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watching costs and going to Chipotle. Does not compute.

Chipotle is still pretty cheap compared to most fast casual restaurants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the stupidest thing here is putting an actual $$$ amount. Is it ok at 425k? 475k? I fully agree with all the posters talking about recognizing individual costs.

At 500k (LOL) I'd still would never add guac/queso, but that's because I'm going to just get a quick meal and know it's not worth it. I will spend extra $$$ at places that are worth it, but Chiptole is definitely not one of them.

Also big shoutout to people making near 500k who still look at grocery prices. I would absolutely not buy something overpriced just because. I also will look at every price and never be like the poster just throwing it in the cart/basket without looking at the price before (please remind this to my wife who actually is the breadwinner overall).

This is me. I am wealthy and retired young. To me, it’s feels like being taken advantage of if I am wasting money. The above poster that just gets gas wherever- so, so wasteful. I don’t care how much you have. If you fill up for $3.69/gal and I pay $2.97/gallon, that’s almost 400 a year per car thrown away. Literally gone because you can’t open an app and see which station is cheaper.

The exponential effect of this with lots of items is mind boggling.

But you do you 💰 🗑️

Only $400 dollars a year when you’re citing an already ridiculous differential in gas prices? You are not making your case.

But fret about all the pennies you’re spending if that’s your hobby, I don’t really care. But ultimately that’s all it is (if you can easily afford NOT to penny pinch, obviously) - a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not paying for guac when you want it and can afford it is an amazing proxy for how sanctimonious someone is. I bet it’s tied to political affiliation, too. Reminds me of the “do you salt your food before you eat it” political analysis done a decade ago.

Most nonsensical post of the week.

Nope, PP hit the nail on the head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

I don’t agree. My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make way more than that and I've always side-eyed my husband for getting both, lol. But I also don't say anything, because I'm not trying to control him.

My kids don't like either, so that's a non-issue, but we do try to limit the "extras" just as a matter of not overdoing it, and keeping some things special. So choose 1 extra, or maybe that thing that costs extra is a special treat. One time one of my kids was super hungry and ordered steak and chicken on a salad at chop't. I wasn't involved in the order, but that would have been an example where I would have encouraged her to pick one.

I know we can afford it, but I don't think we (or my kids) should get everything we want all the time.

Same and we are wealthy. Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure. FWIW, my husband’s burrito at Chipotle is about $26 with guac and double meat. I think that’s ridiculous.

OP here. Thank you both. Glad I'm not totally crazy.

And this kind of mindset helps you retain your wealth.

$100 a year on queso won’t make a difference in retaining wealth. How much you spend on your cars, your vacations, your home, your kids’ education, these things are far more impactful. Denying your kid something that costs $2 a week is pointless and more likely to create distorted thinking around money.

Totally disagree. It’s a mindset, so if you’re the type that says load it on with guac and queso, you likely:

- buy groceries without looking at price
- stopping for gas at whatever station
- stop and get coffee
- get takeout frequently rather than cooking for ease

Etc.

Lots of incredibly wealthy people are mindful of these things:

https://www.gobankingrates.com/investing/strategy/warren-buffett-buys-his-mcdonalds-based-on-stock-market-should-you/

https://www.motorbiscuit.com/these-wealthy-americans-drive-relatively-cheap-cars/

https://www.thelist.com/1051233/celebs-who-surprisingly-live-on-a-tight-budget/

NP, but I do the bolded, because I have enough money that I am not going to compromise the health of my family by penny pinching on the food we in our bodies. And I am good enough at math to realize that driving around looking for cheaper gas is foolish - if gas is an issue in our budget, we DRIVE LESS.

That’s one way to do it and look at it. But you’re fooling yourself if you think spending less means compromising a family’s health. I make almost all our meals at home- not processed, fresh ingredients.

I mean, I do the same. But I don’t give a $hit how much my produce costs if it’s the produce I plan to feed my family that week.

You’re fooling yourself if you think the average American who “watches prices” at the grocery store isn’t swapping out fresh produce for more empty carbs and/or processed crap. Anyone who coupons regularly values saving money more than eating healthy, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make way more than that and I've always side-eyed my husband for getting both, lol. But I also don't say anything, because I'm not trying to control him.

My kids don't like either, so that's a non-issue, but we do try to limit the "extras" just as a matter of not overdoing it, and keeping some things special. So choose 1 extra, or maybe that thing that costs extra is a special treat. One time one of my kids was super hungry and ordered steak and chicken on a salad at chop't. I wasn't involved in the order, but that would have been an example where I would have encouraged her to pick one.

I know we can afford it, but I don't think we (or my kids) should get everything we want all the time.

Same and we are wealthy. Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure. FWIW, my husband’s burrito at Chipotle is about $26 with guac and double meat. I think that’s ridiculous.

OP here. Thank you both. Glad I'm not totally crazy.

And this kind of mindset helps you retain your wealth.

Which OP agreed that her kids would live better on her $$ than she did.

If that’s your intention fine, but realize you’re also setting up an unhealthy dynamic.

Uh, wrong on both accounts:

I’m the one who said (not OP): “Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure.”

And obviously my kids have a healthy dynamic. They know to look for discount codes or coupons, just like I do. Seems idiotic to willingly pay more for something just because they have more.

When my kids were younger, we’d be out and they would ask me to buy something. I would tell them if they wanted it, they could use their own money… And most of the time they would say they didn’t want it that much. I think that’s a great lesson for kids. You can’t want something so much only when you’re not the one paying for it. There are wants and needs, and they are not the same thing. I think it’s also valuable for people of all ages to learn to delay gratification.

OP agreed with you.

Hoarding wealth to pass on to your kids is setting up a bad dynamic, no matter how much you want to protest.

You’re praising your kids for being just like you. Thats control. Deny all you want.