Did you tell your kids?

[Anonymous]

I told my kids, because I didn’t want to offer a flimsy “we just didnt get along” reason for two reasons:

1 - It’s dishonest.

2 - Our society already maintains an attitude toward marriage that treats it as disposable, which it is not. I think marriage is a sacred union and should not be entered into or exited casually. I believe that the only valid reasons for divorce are infidelity, addiction, and abuse, and I want my kids to share this belief.

I’ll also add, the subconscious knows all. When you lie, you compound the grief and pain that comes from divorce. Children deserve to know the truth. It’s an unreasonable and rather sadistic expectation of the betrayed spouse to protect the reputation of the wayward spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids, because I didn’t want to offer a flimsy “we just didnt get along” reason for two reasons:

1 - It’s dishonest.

2 - Our society already maintains an attitude toward marriage that treats it as disposable, which it is not. I think marriage is a sacred union and should not be entered into or exited casually. I believe that the only valid reasons for divorce are infidelity, addiction, and abuse, and I want my kids to share this belief.

I’ll also add, the subconscious knows all. When you lie, you compound the grief and pain that comes from divorce. Children deserve to know the truth. It’s an unreasonable and rather sadistic expectation of the betrayed spouse to protect the reputation of the wayward spouse.

How old were they when you shared? Did they go into therapy for some time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If divorced due to infidelity, how did you tell your kids?

In an age appropriate way and again when they are adults. So they don’t repeat the lesson firsthand.