Woman here earning seven figures for the first time -- plan to date only men who earn more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re in a male dominated field where men make a lot of money. If you’re as hot as you think you are, you don’t need apps or a matchmaker. You should be able to flirt with colleagues, opposing counsel, and at networking events and have men fighting for you.

Why is that not working for you?

OP here. I only recently got out of my marriage. Plus, it is inappropriate to flirt with opposing counsel. The flirtatious men at conferences were looking for a temporary escape from their wives. But I'll keep looking.

Lotta excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So money is how you’ll initially judge a person’s worth? Not values like honesty and respect?

Personally, I think you’re going about this the wrong way.

This.

It’s not that people value money but most men have issues making less money so why go in not a relationship knowing that will be an issue, why not mitigate the issue up front by not having the issue.

Maybe non of you have made more money than your partner but it’s an issue.

People say this but I know plenty of men who are happy to support their partners. My kid has a friend where the mom is an awesome engineer with a crazy resume and the Dad brags about how awesome his wife is. My brother's wife is a CFO of a company and he's supported her every step of the way since college, taking the kids on trips so she could do her licensing exams in peace.

I just posted - I make more than husband as a law partner. Many of my female partners do as well. Marry someone with good character who knows that their role as a good husband and father involves much much much more than earning money, and things can turn out great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re in a male dominated field where men make a lot of money. If you’re as hot as you think you are, you don’t need apps or a matchmaker. You should be able to flirt with colleagues, opposing counsel, and at networking events and have men fighting for you.

Why is that not working for you?

OP here. I only recently got out of my marriage. Plus, it is inappropriate to flirt with opposing counsel. The flirtatious men at conferences were looking for a temporary escape from their wives. But I'll keep looking.

so many rules...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re in a male dominated field where men make a lot of money. If you’re as hot as you think you are, you don’t need apps or a matchmaker. You should be able to flirt with colleagues, opposing counsel, and at networking events and have men fighting for you.

Why is that not working for you?

OP here. I only recently got out of my marriage. Plus, it is inappropriate to flirt with opposing counsel. The flirtatious men at conferences were looking for a temporary escape from their wives. But I'll keep looking.

married men pursue married women all the time. it's where most of the passionate middle age romance happens (as opposed to apps).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've already had one failed marriage with a high earning guy. I get why you may not want to date someone who earns less than 100K, but you seem to be self limiting to an extreme amount. You're likely going to miss out on some quality guys all because they don't make 7 figures. Is there really much of a difference for you between 400K and 1 mil?

Right, and of the ones I know making 1 mil most admit there was some luck/catching a break that catapulted them. Fundamentally they realize there are some very similar people making 400k whose timing was different.

[Anonymous]

No clue why the OP is getting flack for this. I'm a man and nowhere near her income req's, but she's in her 40's and it's easier to date people with a similar lifestyle even if she might miss out on some epic romance. I don't know why someone career focused to that extent would waste their time in the wilderness of dating at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No clue why the OP is getting flack for this. I'm a man and nowhere near her income req's, but she's in her 40's and it's easier to date people with a similar lifestyle even if she might miss out on some epic romance. I don't know why someone career focused to that extent would waste their time in the wilderness of dating at this point.

Eh, I am a middle-aged woman law partner making at least what OP has reported making. If I find myself on the dating market again, I’d focus on values and common interests personally. But I have no desire to take the “supportive” role, particularly to some guy I met in middle age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No clue why the OP is getting flack for this. I'm a man and nowhere near her income req's, but she's in her 40's and it's easier to date people with a similar lifestyle even if she might miss out on some epic romance. I don't know why someone career focused to that extent would waste their time in the wilderness of dating at this point.

Two big jobs in one marriage is difficult to sustain. Op already brings more money to a relationship than someone needs - why would a guy making $1m+ want a partner who already has a large commitment to a job? What is she bringing to the table besides money, which he already has?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

You are incorrect . Look at Bezos - he married a woman slightly younger from his circle. Not all wealthy men want a second set of kids. OP should be targeting men up to 15 years older, almost empty nesters who want a partner to enjoy life.

OP doesn’t need to marry a poor man - no point. She seems to be marriage oriented and marriage is a contract so she needs to find an equal

Bezos married a woman who dresses like a hooker. It’s clear what she brings to the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

You are incorrect . Look at Bezos - he married a woman slightly younger from his circle. Not all wealthy men want a second set of kids. OP should be targeting men up to 15 years older, almost empty nesters who want a partner to enjoy life.

OP doesn’t need to marry a poor man - no point. She seems to be marriage oriented and marriage is a contract so she needs to find an equal

Bezos married a woman who dresses like a hooker. It’s clear what she brings to the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

You are incorrect . Look at Bezos - he married a woman slightly younger from his circle. Not all wealthy men want a second set of kids. OP should be targeting men up to 15 years older, almost empty nesters who want a partner to enjoy life.

OP doesn’t need to marry a poor man - no point. She seems to be marriage oriented and marriage is a contract so she needs to find an equal

Bezos married a woman who dresses like a hooker. It’s clear what she brings to the relationship.

I disagree. I feel like they are really a great match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No clue why the OP is getting flack for this. I'm a man and nowhere near her income req's, but she's in her 40's and it's easier to date people with a similar lifestyle even if she might miss out on some epic romance. I don't know why someone career focused to that extent would waste their time in the wilderness of dating at this point.

Two big jobs in one marriage is difficult to sustain. Op already brings more money to a relationship than someone needs - why would a guy making $1m+ want a partner who already has a large commitment to a job? What is she bringing to the table besides money, which he already has?

According to OP, her looks.

[Anonymous]

Good luck staying single. Your priorities are messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

You are incorrect . Look at Bezos - he married a woman slightly younger from his circle. Not all wealthy men want a second set of kids. OP should be targeting men up to 15 years older, almost empty nesters who want a partner to enjoy life.

OP doesn’t need to marry a poor man - no point. She seems to be marriage oriented and marriage is a contract so she needs to find an equal

Bezos married a woman who dresses like a hooker. It’s clear what she brings to the relationship.

I disagree. I feel like they are really a great match.

Because they are both attention seeking and obsequious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good luck staying single. Your priorities are messed up.

I don’t know… maybe not.

If OP is simply looking for someone with money, she’ll find someone searching for the same.

The two of them can rest contented that they are rolling in $$$, and that’s all that will matter to either of them.

I think we’re looking at this through a different lens with different values.