DS refusing to miss a class to play with school band (as required)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave him alone, he has made his decision and this is a minor thing.

Seriously. It's not a big deal one way or the other, and a 15 year old can make his own decisions and deal with the consequences. A lot of parents here are over here overreacting like this is some sort of crisis that defines his whole moral being. So very DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I don't know why either but its a no win for these kids. Maybe you could have helped the kids at lunch or another time to catch up. My kid always chooses class, which is a problem, as the band teacher refuses to let them do much beyond the absolute minimum, as they prioritize the kids who put band over academics first.

NP: why should a teacher have to give up their lunch to tutor a kid who chose to miss class? My athlete daughter misses the last class a few times during the season and we have never expected the teacher to give up free time to catch her up.

This happened to my athlete daughter and I was so mad about it. I had no idea that the school just expects athletes to regularly miss their last period in order to attend away games. That was not a thing when I went to school and I think it’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where TF school is this where freshman take hard AP classes??

There is more to life than grinding away at the hardest classes they can get into.
There are so many things kids learn by participating in things like band and sports that they do not get in core academic classes, and commitment to the group, communication, planning, and finding solutions to conflicts are part of life. All of these are important to develop and demonstrate on college apps. Not just GPA farming.

Seriously why the rush for kids to take AP classes Freshman year?

DP but my freshman is also taking an AP class and has an A.

I’m a teacher, not an AP teacher. I teach all general ed classes and don’t teach honors even this year. It doesn’t matter the level, I don’t think it’s right for any teacher to mandate a student to miss another class. Who are we to say our class is more important than the one they are scheduled for that period. I don’t know anything about band but why is there mandatory performances that require the students to miss other classes? This doesn’t happen at my school or I don’t teach many in band.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where TF school is this where freshman take hard AP classes??

There is more to life than grinding away at the hardest classes they can get into.
There are so many things kids learn by participating in things like band and sports that they do not get in core academic classes, and commitment to the group, communication, planning, and finding solutions to conflicts are part of life. All of these are important to develop and demonstrate on college apps. Not just GPA farming.

Seriously why the rush for kids to take AP classes Freshman year?

DP but my freshman is also taking an AP class and has an A.

I’m a teacher, not an AP teacher. I teach all general ed classes and don’t teach honors even this year. It doesn’t matter the level, I don’t think it’s right for any teacher to mandate a student to miss another class. Who are we to say our class is more important than the one they are scheduled for that period. I don’t know anything about band but why is there mandatory performances that require the students to miss other classes? This doesn’t happen at my school or I don’t teach many in band.

It's common to have to miss class when in band/varsity sports if there are competitions that require travel, or a specific school event. My ds had to miss a lot a couple years in a row as he was both in band and sports (at school) and they ended up playing at a high level and having to leave early to make it to a performance or a game. It's not ideal and can be stressful, but it's completely possible to manage if you ask a friend to take notes and of course tell the teacher beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read all of the replies. He could see if the teacher would be willing to videotape the lesson so he could watch it later and not miss anything. Setting up video would not be too much work for the teacher.

You’re joking, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave him alone, he has made his decision and this is a minor thing.

Seriously. It's not a big deal one way or the other, and a 15 year old can make his own decisions and deal with the consequences. A lot of parents here are over here overreacting like this is some sort of crisis that defines his whole moral being. So very DCUM.

And yet the kid himself is overreacting saying he can’t miss one class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where TF school is this where freshman take hard AP classes??

There is more to life than grinding away at the hardest classes they can get into.
There are so many things kids learn by participating in things like band and sports that they do not get in core academic classes, and commitment to the group, communication, planning, and finding solutions to conflicts are part of life. All of these are important to develop and demonstrate on college apps. Not just GPA farming.

Seriously why the rush for kids to take AP classes Freshman year?

DP but my freshman is also taking an AP class and has an A.

I’m a teacher, not an AP teacher. I teach all general ed classes and don’t teach honors even this year. It doesn’t matter the level, I don’t think it’s right for any teacher to mandate a student to miss another class. Who are we to say our class is more important than the one they are scheduled for that period. I don’t know anything about band but why is there mandatory performances that require the students to miss other classes? This doesn’t happen at my school or I don’t teach many in band.

It's common to have to miss class when in band/varsity sports if there are competitions that require travel, or a specific school event. My ds had to miss a lot a couple years in a row as he was both in band and sports (at school) and they ended up playing at a high level and having to leave early to make it to a performance or a game. It's not ideal and can be stressful, but it's completely possible to manage if you ask a friend to take notes and of course tell the teacher beforehand.

You are right. I did think about sports. That is common. Plenty have to miss to leave for games. For some reason, I didn’t think of that and was thinking about a mid day band performance. I am wrong. It’s a choice and a lesson for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave him alone, he has made his decision and this is a minor thing.

Seriously. It's not a big deal one way or the other, and a 15 year old can make his own decisions and deal with the consequences. A lot of parents here are over here overreacting like this is some sort of crisis that defines his whole moral being. So very DCUM.

+1000
FFS

[Anonymous]

It is really hard if the AP class is taught during a block schedule because you end up missing the equivalent of 2 classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave him alone, he has made his decision and this is a minor thing.

Seriously. It's not a big deal one way or the other, and a 15 year old can make his own decisions and deal with the consequences. A lot of parents here are over here overreacting like this is some sort of crisis that defines his whole moral being. So very DCUM.

+1000
FFS

It is a big deal to just skip a mandatory concert in Band without explaining to the Band teacher and will result in a 0. If that’s not a big deal to you or your child, fine. I personally don’t like 0s as they prevent my child from getting an A on their transcript. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave him alone, he has made his decision and this is a minor thing.

Seriously. It's not a big deal one way or the other, and a 15 year old can make his own decisions and deal with the consequences. A lot of parents here are over here overreacting like this is some sort of crisis that defines his whole moral being. So very DCUM.

And yet the kid himself is overreacting saying he can’t miss one class.

Probably true but at least he has the excuse that he is only 14 or 15 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave him alone, he has made his decision and this is a minor thing.

Seriously. It's not a big deal one way or the other, and a 15 year old can make his own decisions and deal with the consequences. A lot of parents here are over here overreacting like this is some sort of crisis that defines his whole moral being. So very DCUM.

And yet the kid himself is overreacting saying he can’t miss one class.

Probably true but at least he has the excuse that he is only 14 or 15 years old.

Then Mom needs to guide him and tell him it’s ok to miss one class for a band concert and that life will go on. This is a kid who’s in AYPO outside of school and in a really hard AP class as a freshman. My guess is the Mom knows exactly what’s going on and was probably encouraging him to skip. He’s so worried about grades due to his tiger Mom and upbringing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks all. I will encourage my son to tell the band teacher that he has to miss the concert. This is not one of the major concerts and my son does not have a solo or anything. The band has had to perform without him before for other extenuating circumstances that are not worth getting into here and no one will be able to tell that he is missing. My son will be at the important events that were highlighted in the contract my son had to sign to join the band. My son is well rounded but I do not see a reason to push him to miss an important class for a concert. The band is not counting on him - they will be fine without him. And if all the students made the same choice as my son, then maybe the band teachers would have to adjust and that would not be a bad thing IMHO. That said, if my son wanted to go to the band performance and miss class, I would support that too.

I posted before, and while I can't change your mind, I'm disappointed as a former band member that this is the choice that your son made. Look, you are justifying to yourself and your son that his decisions is fine. Oh, he doesn't have a solo, the band isn't counting on him, it's not that big of a concert. And saying that if all the students made the same choice as your son maybe the band teacher would adjust - yeah maybe not. Maybe it's out of their control - maybe the admin said the concert will be during block 3 and that's that.

Again, the spot that your son was in is not an easy one, but he is thinking about himself (missing 1 class) over others (the entire band) that he decided to join and be a part of. Not why this one is bugging me so much. Maybe just stick to AYSO in the future.

[Anonymous]

Either way it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things OP.

If he doesn't want to miss the class, go to the class. It sounds like he has already made the decision. Unless he wants to be a musician eventually, and he doesn't have a critical part in the concert,.it doesn't really matter.

Kids will have to start making lots of decisions like this in high school and beyond.

[Anonymous]

I’d be very proud if my child opted for class instead of band.
Education comes first.