DS refusing to miss a class to play with school band (as required)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I don't know why either but its a no win for these kids. Maybe you could have helped the kids at lunch or another time to catch up. My kid always chooses class, which is a problem, as the band teacher refuses to let them do much beyond the absolute minimum, as they prioritize the kids who put band over academics first.

It’s a good life lesson that you can’t have it all and need to prioritize what is important to you, even if it’s not what is important to others.

I kind of wish I had learned that lesson in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I can't imagine how missing one day of class for a school-related activity would cause someone to be this behind unless one or both teachers were being intentionally punitive.

OP here - teacher for this class is amazing. Incredibly dedicated and gifted teacher - not punitive. But he has extremely high standards and class moves very quickly. DS does not want to miss class because the teachers is such a good lecturer so it is hard to recreate the in-class learning with just the text book or videos. DS already decided to pass on the spring amusement park band trip because it would require missing this class. (It is a block schedule school so missing one class is really like missing two classes).

I agree with your son. But part of making this mature decision is to talk to band teacher about it- not to simply skip. Maybe band teacher will excuse h8m, maybe he’ll still get a zero for missing- but the teacher should know where he is, why he didn’t attend, and have the opportunity to adjust the music for his sectional if it’s needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I can't imagine how missing one day of class for a school-related activity would cause someone to be this behind unless one or both teachers were being intentionally punitive.

OP here - teacher for this class is amazing. Incredibly dedicated and gifted teacher - not punitive. But he has extremely high standards and class moves very quickly. DS does not want to miss class because the teachers is such a good lecturer so it is hard to recreate the in-class learning with just the text book or videos. DS already decided to pass on the spring amusement park band trip because it would require missing this class. (It is a block schedule school so missing one class is really like missing two classes).

I agree with your son. But part of making this mature decision is to talk to band teacher about it- not to simply skip. Maybe band teacher will excuse h8m, maybe he’ll still get a zero for missing- but the teacher should know where he is, why he didn’t attend, and have the opportunity to adjust the music for his sectional if it’s needed.

This. He talks to both teachers and makes a decision and clearly communicates. Stay out of the decision OP but counsel him to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your son is correct.

+100

My kid’s club sports team would have travel days or club game conflicts with school. I never met them miss school for it. When they got older they didn’t want to miss since with block scheduling it was a lot to miss.

They are at Ivies now.

[Anonymous]

I agree it’s rough. DD had a theater field trip that caused her to miss a class where they watched a short movie and had a long discussion about it that was the basis for a test four days later. She didn’t effectively make up the material and did poorly. Now she doesn’t want to miss classes for any reason. I’d talk to the teacher to explain concerns but understand why he’d want to skip band.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I can't imagine how missing one day of class for a school-related activity would cause someone to be this behind unless one or both teachers were being intentionally punitive.

OP here - teacher for this class is amazing. Incredibly dedicated and gifted teacher - not punitive. But he has extremely high standards and class moves very quickly. DS does not want to miss class because the teachers is such a good lecturer so it is hard to recreate the in-class learning with just the text book or videos. DS already decided to pass on the spring amusement park band trip because it would require missing this class. (It is a block schedule school so missing one class is really like missing two classes).

I agree with your son. But part of making this mature decision is to talk to band teacher about it- not to simply skip. Maybe band teacher will excuse h8m, maybe he’ll still get a zero for missing- but the teacher should know where he is, why he didn’t attend, and have the opportunity to adjust the music for his sectional if it’s needed.

This. He talks to both teachers and makes a decision and clearly communicates. Stay out of the decision OP but counsel him to do this.

I’m interested that people are suggesting he talk to the band teacher ahead of time. He was worried that the teacher would try to step in and force him to miss the class. At my job we constantly say sometimes it’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. This seemed like it might be one of those situations.

[Anonymous]

My child is a sophomore and also in this concert and will be missing classes. He’s already spoken to his teachers and has a plan for makeup work. The teachers have been accommodating. He is missing a test so will make that up another day. Your child is a freshman - they can miss one day. Students in performing arts are expected to attend all performances. My suggestion is your son don’t sign up for band next year. You don’t just skip a performance - every member is counted on to be there. You’re not teaching him to honor his commitments if you let him skip. Your son sounds immature and unable to handle life.

Either way, he needed to communicate with his band teacher way before this day. We have known about this concert since the beginning of the school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I can't imagine how missing one day of class for a school-related activity would cause someone to be this behind unless one or both teachers were being intentionally punitive.

OP here - teacher for this class is amazing. Incredibly dedicated and gifted teacher - not punitive. But he has extremely high standards and class moves very quickly. DS does not want to miss class because the teachers is such a good lecturer so it is hard to recreate the in-class learning with just the text book or videos. DS already decided to pass on the spring amusement park band trip because it would require missing this class. (It is a block schedule school so missing one class is really like missing two classes).

Mine skips that stuff too but you might want to reach out to both teachers on how to handle it.

I'd make sure he talks to both teachers. He shouldn't surprise the band teacher with his absence. That's uncool.

Is there another section of the hard class that he could join for one day? Either during lunch or skipping an easy class? Maybe something could be worked out.

[Anonymous]

Listen to your kid.

The timing on telling the band teacher should be determined by how impactful his absence will be - is he one of five second flutes where others can cover for him? Or the only piccolo with a solo? I also think the student should tell the teacher, but that's of course your call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I can't imagine how missing one day of class for a school-related activity would cause someone to be this behind unless one or both teachers were being intentionally punitive.

OP here - teacher for this class is amazing. Incredibly dedicated and gifted teacher - not punitive. But he has extremely high standards and class moves very quickly. DS does not want to miss class because the teachers is such a good lecturer so it is hard to recreate the in-class learning with just the text book or videos. DS already decided to pass on the spring amusement park band trip because it would require missing this class. (It is a block schedule school so missing one class is really like missing two classes).

I agree with your son. But part of making this mature decision is to talk to band teacher about it- not to simply skip. Maybe band teacher will excuse h8m, maybe he’ll still get a zero for missing- but the teacher should know where he is, why he didn’t attend, and have the opportunity to adjust the music for his sectional if it’s needed.

This. He talks to both teachers and makes a decision and clearly communicates. Stay out of the decision OP but counsel him to do this.

I’m interested that people are suggesting he talk to the band teacher ahead of time. He was worried that the teacher would try to step in and force him to miss the class. At my job we constantly say sometimes it’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. This seemed like it might be one of those situations.

No this is not one of those times and is completely unacceptable. You are teaching your son the wrong way to handle this.

The teacher is busy and stressed and over 100 kids and you think he’s going to have time to “force” your kid to go? You’re crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I can't imagine how missing one day of class for a school-related activity would cause someone to be this behind unless one or both teachers were being intentionally punitive.

OP here - teacher for this class is amazing. Incredibly dedicated and gifted teacher - not punitive. But he has extremely high standards and class moves very quickly. DS does not want to miss class because the teachers is such a good lecturer so it is hard to recreate the in-class learning with just the text book or videos. DS already decided to pass on the spring amusement park band trip because it would require missing this class. (It is a block schedule school so missing one class is really like missing two classes).

I agree with your son. But part of making this mature decision is to talk to band teacher about it- not to simply skip. Maybe band teacher will excuse h8m, maybe he’ll still get a zero for missing- but the teacher should know where he is, why he didn’t attend, and have the opportunity to adjust the music for his sectional if it’s needed.

This. He talks to both teachers and makes a decision and clearly communicates. Stay out of the decision OP but counsel him to do this.

I’m interested that people are suggesting he talk to the band teacher ahead of time. He was worried that the teacher would try to step in and force him to miss the class. At my job we constantly say sometimes it’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. This seemed like it might be one of those situations.

No, it's like a team sport. If the band teacher knows he's missing certain players/instruments he can adjust who plays what so there aren't missing melodies or an unbalanced sound. The band teacher needs the chance to make changes.

You're backing him up, so the band teacher can't force anything.

[Anonymous]

The band director at our high school is very pushy and aggressive about any conflicts at all. It's a huge turnoff and many kids who otherwise love music have had to drop out because of his attitude. It's too bad, as I'm sure there are benefits to having a larger band of committed students who just may have more than one thing going on. And of course, the kids lose out on the experience as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen to your kid.

The timing on telling the band teacher should be determined by how impactful his absence will be - is he one of five second flutes where others can cover for him? Or the only piccolo with a solo? I also think the student should tell the teacher, but that's of course your call.

It's not up to the kid to determine the impact. He needs to tell the band teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I can't imagine how missing one day of class for a school-related activity would cause someone to be this behind unless one or both teachers were being intentionally punitive.

OP here - teacher for this class is amazing. Incredibly dedicated and gifted teacher - not punitive. But he has extremely high standards and class moves very quickly. DS does not want to miss class because the teachers is such a good lecturer so it is hard to recreate the in-class learning with just the text book or videos. DS already decided to pass on the spring amusement park band trip because it would require missing this class. (It is a block schedule school so missing one class is really like missing two classes).

Mine skips that stuff too but you might want to reach out to both teachers on how to handle it.

I'd make sure he talks to both teachers. He shouldn't surprise the band teacher with his absence. That's uncool.

Is there another section of the hard class that he could join for one day? Either during lunch or skipping an easy class? Maybe something could be worked out.

I agree that he should see if there is another section of the hard class that he can attend that day. Maybe there's a solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your son is correct.

+100

My kid’s club sports team would have travel days or club game conflicts with school. I never met them miss school for it. When they got older they didn’t want to miss since with block scheduling it was a lot to miss.

They are at Ivies now.

Travel sports aren't school sponsored, though. School sports and performing arts are, and performing arts are often credited courses.

Our entire school has a strict policy that performing arts stuff comes first. But it's a small private and student-only concerts occur during arrival or dismissal so as not to conflict with class time, so the school balances the priorities for the kids.