DS refusing to miss a class to play with school band (as required)

[Anonymous]

OP, this was so dumb.

This was a required performance. It cannot be made up. The other kids in the band class attended and also had to miss a class.
This is par for the course if they are in band. Treating your son as “special” is not a good look.

So there was a conflict. DC can make up the work from the missed AP class. There is no way to make up the performance. It really is that simple.

Do better next time. Teens manage this stuff all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this was so dumb.

This was a required performance. It cannot be made up. The other kids in the band class attended and also had to miss a class.
This is par for the course if they are in band. Treating your son as “special” is not a good look.

So there was a conflict. DC can make up the work from the missed AP class. There is no way to make up the performance. It really is that simple.

Do better next time. Teens manage this stuff all the time.

+1

[Anonymous]

Sound reasoning. He's got a good head on his shoulders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sound reasoning. He's got a good head on his shoulders.

Not really.
This won’t be the last time there is a conflict between regular school classes and other classes and school sanctioned activities. Band concerts, science fair, social studies projects, and high school sports are just some of the conflicts with other classes that have come up over the years for my senior, and just like the other kids, my son made it work by planning ahead and communicating with his teachers.

OP’s kid is acting like a snowflake and she is enabling it. Her kid lost out on an important class activity and also the experience of learning how to plan and communicate with his teachers. This will come up again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sound reasoning. He's got a good head on his shoulders.

OP is this you? I notice for all the posts saying no don’t skip, there one who keeps saying your son is right. lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a funny feeling this kid isn’t in band. He’s actually in the orchestra. The kid is in AYPO so obviously plays orchestra. Band was a cover. I also know what school this is, as my child is in this same performance which is taking place today. It’s a mix of band, orchestra, choir and drama students. It’s a fun holiday performance. My child is older and his teachers were 100% supportive.

??? There are three different AYPO ensembles (AYP, AYSO, and AYCO) that are full orchestras and include all of the brass and woodwind (i.e. "band") instruments. These span middle through high school. The ensembles that are string-only are different.

[Anonymous]

OMG its not that big of a deal!!!
I don't know why there's 10 pages of parents using their free time to discuss this.
THE KID MADE HIS DESICION!!! Let it go oh my gosh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this was so dumb.

This was a required performance. It cannot be made up. The other kids in the band class attended and also had to miss a class.
This is par for the course if they are in band. Treating your son as “special” is not a good look.

So there was a conflict. DC can make up the work from the missed AP class. There is no way to make up the performance. It really is that simple.

Do better next time. Teens manage this stuff all the time.

+1

+1. Band/Orchestra is a class with requirements just like any other class. Sometimes kids miss class for field trips, or conferences or Science Fairs, and sometimes it’s a band performance. Each is the academic requirement or supplements for that particular course. This is normal. Kid needs to figure out how to advocate for themselves and manage their time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this was so dumb.

This was a required performance. It cannot be made up. The other kids in the band class attended and also had to miss a class.
This is par for the course if they are in band. Treating your son as “special” is not a good look.

So there was a conflict. DC can make up the work from the missed AP class. There is no way to make up the performance. It really is that simple.

Do better next time. Teens manage this stuff all the time.

+1

+2

My kid had a big test in Ap calc the same day as an in school band commitment. He planned ahead, arranged to take test a day early by missing another class with easier to make up work (talked to both teachers). It was fine. But most of the time, there’s no big test, and it’s no big deal to miss for a required, excused band concert. It is completely normal and fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG its not that big of a deal!!!
I don't know why there's 10 pages of parents using their free time to discuss this.
THE KID MADE HIS DESICION!!! Let it go oh my gosh

Because this is a parenting forum, and part of its whole purpose is being able to ask questions of parents who might have more experience with these matters and or able to offer different perspectives.
OP’s premises, 1. That kids should decide this type of thing without having explored all options and 2. The band is just not that important and they can just expect to be able to skip important things because they don’t want to put the work in to communicate and figure out a plan for the missed class, are just wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP - Please share.

What was the outcome?

Did your DS skip the band concert for the incredibly difficult AP course, or did he decide to join his fellow band brethren and play in the concert despite his minor role in the band?

Inquiring minds want to know...

[Anonymous]

OP here. This really took a crazy turn. In the end when DS looked at what was going to be covered during the AP class he was going to miss, he was comfortably that it would be easy material for him to study on this own so he went to the band concert after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This really took a crazy turn. In the end when DS looked at what was going to be covered during the AP class he was going to miss, he was comfortably that it would be easy material for him to study on this own so he went to the band concert after all.

Yay! Glad it turned out ok and thanks for the update!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school it’s common to miss class for various school-sponsored things, from a few hours to many days for school related trips. Teachers are expected to be accommodating. I can’t think of any occasion where a student refused to participate in the event they elected to join.

Sounds like performing arts are not for him.

Your rationale is why American schools do not educate kids correctly.

Most other schools in the world expect students to prioritize academics. I know. I'm Asian (my cousins were all educated in my Asian country) who happened to be educated in western Europe: UK, France and Germany. None of these three countries pull kids out of academic classes for music or sports. My Asian country doesn't either.

Just because everyone else at that school is doing it wrong, doesn't mean OP's kid should too.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This really took a crazy turn. In the end when DS looked at what was going to be covered during the AP class he was going to miss, he was comfortably that it would be easy material for him to study on this own so he went to the band concert after all.

Thanks for the update. Glad it worked out.