Getting married out of college?

[Anonymous]

No way would I trade my 20s for marriage. I got married at 31 and had two kids by age 36. Perfect.

[Anonymous]

We married right out of college and didn’t have a penny to our names. We both worked hard to get out of debt and had a lot of fun for ten years, paid off loans, bought a house, traveled lots, built up wealth and careers before having kids in our 30s. We just did it together.

Sure, we are completely different people now in our 50s. We were kids ourselves when we met. We won’t ever get divorced. We have way too much history and have built too much together. I don’t regret not experiencing the post college dating scene. It sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

Son is from class of 23 and has a classmate who just gave birth to their first child. Married a classmate right out of college.

[Anonymous]

I barely knew myself in my early 20s let alone being okay with devoting the rest of my life to someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Love how everyone says marriage like that means happy

And how the HHI highly educated think that because it worked for them or their social circle it’s representative of anything

Only about 1/3 (maybe) of my college/grad school friends are still married. The ones who are would probably like to get divorced but don't want to ruin their lifestyle.

I’m not even remotely surprised because there’s so much unhappiness among the striver DCUM set and that no doubt extends to friends.

I’m thinking real hard and can’t come up with any college/grad friends who are divorced.

My three closest friends in college all got married by age 23—all to their high school boyfriends—and they’re all divorced now. Bitter, acrimonious UMC divorces, all with kids involved. They probably wish they had just enjoyed their prime years a bit longer on their own.

Opposite experience here. Everyone I know who married their high school sweethearts are still together with the exception of one who passed away.

I don’t know anyone that married their high school sweetheart.

The rate of divorce for HS sweethearts is 54% after 10 years vs 32% for the overall population.

One more…stupid anecdotes aren’t useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way would I trade my 20s for marriage. I got married at 31 and had two kids by age 36. Perfect.

Sure. But imagine being 31 and single today. You're done with school. Most men are not asking work colleagues out these days. So that reduces things to serendipity or the apps.

When confronted by a future of Tinder and Hinge or whatever, it's not a surprise that smart college students that want a life partner are settling down earlier rather than later. College or grad school is a very organic way to meet. It's difficult to meet potential life partners in 2025 naturally. So I can see how Gen Z is making the most of their college years - bc post college dating looks bleak to them.

My college kids are both in serious relationships. I was wary at first. Wait until 30 was my thinking. But - in the context of reality in 2025 - I get it. I wouldn't be surprised if they are both married before 25.

[Anonymous]

Well, here are some more anecdotes. My friends who got married right out of college got divorced pretty quickly, too. Their second marriages in their 30s have all been long-lasting, 20 yrs and counting. I also am close friends with several couples that met as teenagers but dated in their 20s without get married until in their 30s and they are still together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I think that is positive. College is a great time to find a partner. I have been discouraging schools with male / female balance in the 40/60 range because of this. But I married straight out of college and were celebrating our 25th shortly so am kind of biased.

I think of the guys I dated in college and cringe. I should have stayed clear of the D1 hockey players but they were the most fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this happening at an accelerated rate these days? I've been to two weddings of 2025 college grads this summer and all the kids are 21/22. They're headed off to medical school and law school and are the kids of professional parents who married in their early 30s.
My teens say early marriage is all over instagram as well.

Sample size bias or is this a trend?

No it’s not

Any woman considering kids with Republicans in power and breeding being their focus is dumb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems crazy to me. Back when my parents did it, they didn't know that your brain isn't even fully cooked until 25 at the earliest. I can't imagine missing out on all the people you meet if you're not partnered in your 20s. I grew SO MUCH. I know everyone is different so I would never say anything, and I observe more than I judge, but for me it would've been a nightmare.

I guess I didn't feel that way at all. DH and I were always very very responsible and knew exactly what we were looking for. In fact, our exes were wonderful people too, so it's not like we had lots of bad relationships either.

DH and I were completely together from the day we met and we both knew we'd marry each other. Waiting until we were 30 to marry would have just been pointless. I've never met anyone who even held a candle to dh. DH and I married at 24/25, backpacked around the world, got our masters degrees together, bought homes and had lots of fun before deciding to have children in our 30s. Couldn't imagine a more perect life. Why would I want a few bad breakups and bad boyfriends in there? What purpose would that serve?

I think this is the perspective that's missing, because of you're getting married at 30+, you're immediately focused on having kids. I got married at 25 to my college boyfriend (after we finished our respective graduate degrees, so not right out of college). We spent five years having an amazing time and then had our first DC. Getting married didn't prevent me from having fun in my twenties, it added to the fun.

[Anonymous]

I got married at 30 and we had 5 lovely childfree years. My best friend got married at 33 or 34 and had kids at 38 and 40. There’s time to travel or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 30 and we had 5 lovely childfree years. My best friend got married at 33 or 34 and had kids at 38 and 40. There’s time to travel or whatever.

Having kids that late raises a lot of risks, including not being able to have kids. Not mention being in your 60s when your kid is in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 30 and we had 5 lovely childfree years. My best friend got married at 33 or 34 and had kids at 38 and 40. There’s time to travel or whatever.

Having kids that late raises a lot of risks, including not being able to have kids. Not mention being in your 60s when your kid is in college.

What are the risks of having kids late? Please enlightening us.

And what is wrong with being 60 when your kids are in college?

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. Casual low commitment relationships or “situationships” are becoming increasingly common. If you find some who is interested in a relationship that you get along with you essentially have no choice but to lock it down. There will not be another marriage material person around the corner. Once you are out of school you have to completely rely on dating apps now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The median age for marriage is the highest on record. 29.2 for men and 28.4 for women.

Marriage rates among the wealthy and educated are higher than for the MC and LMC.

Until the median age starts decreasing it’s just some anecdotes.

+1 and it’s even higher amongst the college educated, and higher still amongst those with advanced degrees.

Gen Zers are as old as 28 now. There’s no evidence anything has changed.