Desi parents and kids who married a non desi

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indian-American here.

Most people don't care if you marry a well-off, educated white person from a family with assets and are still married. Some people find divorce untasteful, but if the rest is there, they aren't going to care one bit about the divorce and will be supportive.

Every. Single. Indian. I know (and I am so many having grown up in a heavy Indian community) would lose their minds if their child married a black person. Indians are weirdly hateful toward black people.

Yeah, that has changed quite a bit from years ago. In reality, Indians want their doctor kids to marry other doctors/professionally successful people. Indians meet their non-Indian spouses in either college/graduate school or work. I do know of a number of Indian doctors marrying Black doctors - and being supported from both sides of the families.

I think it is a SES thing rather than a race thing.

Nope. PP here. I've seen Indians disowned for marrying black attorneys, physicians, engineers. Didn't matter. There just isn't the whole well, he's a successful person or she's a brilliant surgeon thing I've seen with white people marrying into the Indian community.

There is just so much gossip and drama around this. I've known people who have married black people (yes successful) and yes, they have been derided by the aunties and rejected by families. It is VERY much a thing.

Definitely a colorist perspective. They don't mind their kids marrying someone lighter, because their kids will be light skinned. But marrying someone darker is still looked down upon. Even within the desi community.

Really different standards. If you marry a non desi, unless they are white, good looking, highly educated, high income and from an upper middle or better family, you'll be judged hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are desi, you married a non desi, were your parents chill about it? If not, did they or any family members come for your wedding or have a relationship with you after your wedding? Did you care that you might end up being shut out from your community? Do you still meet the desi family friends?

Parents and siblings come around, no matter how they feel. Extended family, community and people back home are more judgmental but even they settle down after a round of gossip fest.