
It's not limited information at all. It would be literally impossible to spend $12,500 a year on subscription porn sites when a paid Onlyfans account costs between $5-15 a month per subscription and paid porn sites are $10 a month. But with FinDom, you can spend up to $5000 in a single session. Another comment mentioned Glenn Greenwald and in his video he was seen Paypalling $3000 to his male Dom. A lot of Onlyfans creators will do custom videos from anywhere between $600-1200 per request. It is much more likely that OP's busy, married husband is having a few discreet FinDom sessions or custom shows per year rather than subscribing to over 100 different porn sites every single month. |
He may not even fully be able to say what happened to him until he develops better coping. The kids turning 10 may be a huge trigger for him and he may fall apart, up acting out, etc. I was told to expect re ex but underestimated. |
OP,
He needs evaluation for underlying issues and specialized trauma treatment, not simply you controlling the Wi-Fi. Bit of a race against the clock until 7 yr old turns 10. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article...ii/S014521342300176X https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7787260/ Trauma often causes somewhat of a stall in development at the childhood age it occurred. Be realistic about that, how he is going to be able to function over time as a parent, earner, spouse. Right now he is somewhat of an avoidant, shame filled, dopamine seeking 5th grader in the body of a middle aged man. With work he can begin to heal and grow up, but you have no control over that. Protect yourself and the kids as best as you can, esp from porn exposure. How that looks may change over time. No simple or easy solutions. I wouldn’t leave the kids with ILs either. |
Has he considered turning to Jesus? |
Truth. OP, this is more complex than someone w/o csa trauma who got addicted to too much free porn. His life is like a slo-mo crash of faked adulthood and he’s going to keep spiraling without a lot of trauma treatment, and maybe with it. You have to be responsible for you and the kids. Who you thought you were married to was a facade. |
Religion is no a fix for CSA although some churches have free porn addiction resources. The best hope is an in patient trauma and addiction treatment stint, OP. Look into what your insurance may cover. |
I don't even want to put this into the atmosphere, but what if the type of porn is illegal in nature? Do you have access to his computer right now, OP? The names of the sites he's spent on? |
Exposure to porn as a kid can really derail your life, some can overcome, but your DH seems to want to make you responsible for his addiction, OP. Making you the protective mom he did not have?
Some good info here. https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/27/health/this-is...odes-nofap-wellness/ |
Ok, it's clear you've found OP's post and are now spinning out with your own facts and issues. Cut it out. |
Where did OP say her husband was exposed to porn as a child?
This thread is going off the rails. |
Read the thread, PP. He told her he’s been addicted to porn since age 10. |
Stop trolling. |
PP challenging this: here is where OP says that her husband was exposed to porn starting at 10. OP, the frame that he has been “addicted since then” is not accurate. He was 10. If he continually sought out porn at 10, that was not sexual acting out—it was a trauma response. It is very likely that a lot of this still is. It does not mean that he is not responsible for it or that you have to stick around for it. But something awful happened to him. If you are only framing this in your mind as “he committed financial infidelity using porn and this is all so shocking”—you are burying the lede, which will have much bigger implications for your kids than you possibly getting divorced. |
OP, look into betrayal trauma, it’s expected in your situation.
The rates of recovery for people like your husband are low, be realistic, not naive. You need a good lawyer with expertise in protecting kids and a good trauma therapist to advise and support you. |
It is his unaddressed significant csa trauma history that is the driver and that is the biggest risk for the marriage and kids. |