Why do so many SAHMs insist on PTA or activity meetings during the school day?

[Anonymous]

or drive a bus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want parents with jobs.

You can be upset about the disrespect and exclusion and your feelings will be valid.

Or

You can take it as a glorious get out of jail free card. You do not have to participate not because you were unwilling but— sigh— because you aren’t the target volunteer demographic. Do not volunteer, do not Venmo, and only go to the activities that actually appeal to you (or your kid) and don’t guilt free.

And if you’re ever — ever!— approached or guilted about it you just smile and say how glad you are that people have so much free time to donate to the (name the activity)

This. I feel entirely absolved of the guilt I once felt to be helpful. School volunteering is a SAHM show, and I scroll past anything the PTA has to say.

I find this astounding. Imagine women dismissing other women because you think you are above it all. Too bad if you scroll pass your kids may miss some activities because you are too busy being superior. Funny, if this was coming from a man we would say that's typical man dismissing a woman. But, it is really sad when women can't support other women. We are volunteering for the benefit of all the children! Even yours. A little appreication would be nice.

These are women intentionally excluding other women, though. No one needs to listen to them.

If your PTA doesn’t flex the schedule so working parents can participate, you are “dismissing” those women’s contributions. Why should they then care about yours?

Those women don’t show up anyway. If they can’t make an after school drop off meeting I’m sure they’ll find reasons 6, 7, 8pm don’t work either. Priorities. If people want to meet to plan frivolous events, let them. Is anyone really dying to get in on that? If they send around a signup genius to work an event, donate time then, or just write a check, or just do nothing. It doesn’t really matter in the end.

This was the advice I gave— if people don’t value you, you don’t have to value them. The poster who I was responding to found that “astounding” and wanted gratitude for her role despite deliberately excluding others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly think the pta should be abolished. I don’t agree with anything they do. Even the fundraising. We shouldn’t have to fundraiser for needed improvements. The school board is spending millions on tech contracts or lawyers because they’re being sued by special needs parents. Cut some of that out and we’d have ample money for our schools. The money is there, it’s just not being allocated correctly.

I also don’t like fundraising for teacher lunches. Why?? Only pink collar jobs try to reward their employees this way. It’s frankly insulting to teachers I think. Teachers would rather you fix school problems than give them a free baked potato.

Agree. Which is why I won’t vote for higher taxes. Not giving more money so it can be squandered. PTA does zero to increase education. If parents really want to make an impact on education, fill in a substitute teacher in the district or volunteer as a reading/math tutor.

PTA isn't tax funded?

[Anonymous]

Ours used to be held right before pickup, but working parents complained and now they are held right after dropoff with a mix of working parents and SAH parents in attendance. Most working people can go in to work a little late a lot easier than they can duck out in the middle of the work day. Nobody wanted to do evening meetings for reasons discussed in this thread - kid activities, homework, dinner, family time.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why the meeting can’t be on zoom.

[Anonymous]

Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want parents with jobs.

You can be upset about the disrespect and exclusion and your feelings will be valid.

Or

You can take it as a glorious get out of jail free card. You do not have to participate not because you were unwilling but— sigh— because you aren’t the target volunteer demographic. Do not volunteer, do not Venmo, and only go to the activities that actually appeal to you (or your kid) and don’t guilt free.

And if you’re ever — ever!— approached or guilted about it you just smile and say how glad you are that people have so much free time to donate to the (name the activity)

This. I feel entirely absolved of the guilt I once felt to be helpful. School volunteering is a SAHM show, and I scroll past anything the PTA has to say.

I find this astounding. Imagine women dismissing other women because you think you are above it all. Too bad if you scroll pass your kids may miss some activities because you are too busy being superior. Funny, if this was coming from a man we would say that's typical man dismissing a woman. But, it is really sad when women can't support other women. We are volunteering for the benefit of all the children! Even yours. A little appreication would be nice.

These are women intentionally excluding other women, though. No one needs to listen to them.

If your PTA doesn’t flex the schedule so working parents can participate, you are “dismissing” those women’s contributions. Why should they then care about yours?

Those women don’t show up anyway. If they can’t make an after school drop off meeting I’m sure they’ll find reasons 6, 7, 8pm don’t work either. Priorities. If people want to meet to plan frivolous events, let them. Is anyone really dying to get in on that? If they send around a signup genius to work an event, donate time then, or just write a check, or just do nothing. It doesn’t really matter in the end.

This was the advice I gave— if people don’t value you, you don’t have to value them. The poster who I was responding to found that “astounding” and wanted gratitude for her role despite deliberately excluding others.

It would be impossible to value everyone equally. What is it people like OP expect to get out of the PTA meeting? They are actually pretty boring and tedious. Is it just FOMO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

Which is a larger group- parents working during normal working hours or parents unable to attend at 6pm

[Anonymous]

Older kids have sports then

[Anonymous]

As someone who has been involved in PTAs and PTOs for years, why the bellyaching over being able to attend the meetings? They usually aren't that insightful and you can easily be a very active volunteer in your school without ever attending one.

I guess if you want to be PTA president you need to go to the one where they vote on the board, but after that you can set the meeting time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Typically I’ve found that SAHMs have terrible husbands. They’re unable to put kids to bed (even in elementary), can’t feed them dinner, can’t run bath times. So yeah, they can’t make pta meetings at night because they have to do all of that at night. And sure some SAHMs have great husbands, the majority are like I describe. I’m not sure if it’s that they never made their husband do any work or they married a dud and that’s why they had to sah.

You are insufferable. Don’t join the pta with your judgmental attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

Which is a larger group- parents working during normal working hours or parents unable to attend at 6pm

Real answer - depends on the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evening meetings are hard for everyone. No one likes them, working or SAH. Kids have sports practice, games to attend, music lessons, dinner, help with homework, and then times this by multiple kids in families.

Sometimes spouses work late or aren’t home, sometimes/and very often the case, the spouse has to take one kid somewhere while you have to take another kid somewhere. And someone needs to cook dinner as well.

Daytime meetings are more convenient for SAH parents. As where night meetings are convenient to no one. Whoever is leading the PTA gets to decide what the best schedule is for them since they are the one that is obligated to be there every time, next factor is who else will actually show up and what is the best availability for them.

This is a complete SAHM fantasy. Our elementary did 6pm meetings (with babysitting/pizza provided) and it was fine. That’s the most sensible time and nobody could object. SAHs can have the parent watch the kids or bring them to the meetings; WOHs can usually make a 6pm meeting after work with enough notice. And the truth is SAHMs have more flexible schedules so that’s why the PTA meetings don’t need to cater to them. Anyone who tried to schedule a daytime PTA meeting at our school would have been laughed out of the room.

Nobody could object? My you really do think you can speak for all.

The PTA needs to be inclusive for the whole school. Picking a meeting time that a big chunk of parents could never attend is obviously inappropriate. 6pm is indisputably a time that everyone except late-shift workers have the best chance of making. I don’t think anyone at our school would even have attempted to schedule a daytime PTA meeting - they would have been laughed out of the room.

6pm is not “indisputably” convenient for the most people just because you think it is or say it is. Lots of people (working and not working) are saying it isn’t. Your daytime conflict (your job) isn’t more important than other people’s 6pm conflicts.

I’ve been involved in the PTA for 9 years at many different schools. In the early years it was great and I developed decent relationships with other parents who volunteered. Now, the board meetings are on zoom, which I hate because it removes the whole community aspect of it. The general meetings are in person in the evenings. Very few people show up, but it definitely draws people who want to complain/influence but definitely don’t want to help/volunteer.

Yes, people’s JOBS are actually more important than your desire not to get a babysitter; a DH who is never home; or your preference not to leave the house after 3pm. Like I said at my school you’d have been laughed out of the room for suggesting daytime PTA meetings. Just would not have happened.

Again, that is your opinion, not fact. Also, all this whining about how important your job is that you can’t go to a daytime meeting but somehow you’ve got time to insult people on dcum at 11am on a weekday…