Why do so many SAHMs insist on PTA or activity meetings during the school day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re usually eating dinner at 7 or driving to and from activities, even as late as 830. This is no more or less convenient than the morning. It’s exactly as it was already explained to you.

I feel sad for mothers whose husbands refuse to parent in the evenings. I don't understand how if DH and I who both work out of the home can make evening meetings and activities happen, a SAHM with a husband who works can't. I mean by 8:30 my children are home from activities and winding down. DH can handle getting them to bed if I have an activity or event.

You do understand that people have more than 1 kid and some have 3, 4 or more and it takes two parents to drive the kids, manage dinner, put kids to bed when kids are at different ages and stages. Nobody wants to jump on a zoom for a boring PTA meeting by 830 after a long day. This isn’t a SAHM issue that you’re trying to make it out to be. On any given night one kid has an activity from 430-730, another from 530-630, and another from 6–8pm. It’s all hands on deck after school until late in the evening.

Yet somehow my husband manages just fine with three children on the nights that I have work events that don't get me home until after the children have gone to bed. We rely on carpools for the children's activities on those nights. The children my husband isn't engaging with at that time play or read in their rooms - putting a kid to sleep doesn't have to take a lot of time. My kids are pretty independent, even the youngest. It's not as hard as you are trying to make it out to be.

It’s all about priorities. I’d be hard-pressed to leave my kids at bedtime for a PTA meeting. I like being with my kids! After dropoff is better for me. Most/many jobs offer time off, which people may or may not utilize to use for PTA meetings. It’s up to them, but I’m not taking time away from my family for things that can be accomplished during school hours.

I’m the teacher who just posted above. Would you find it okay if I leave your child’s classroom with a sub once a month so I can attend these meetings, as well? Sincere question here.

You don’t have to justify your use of time off to me or any other parents. If you want to attend a PTA meeting, do so.

This isn’t about justification. It’s about what is acceptable.

There are hundreds of thousands of teachers who are also parents. We don’t get to do any schoolday activities with our own children unless we are at the same school, which is often not the case.

I shouldn’t HAVE to write sub plans, find a sub, and deprive my students of their teacher every time there is a PTA meeting at my own children’s school.

Have the meetings in the evening, which is likely more achievable for the majority of parents. Sure, we are all tired and we are giving up family time. This is the only way, however, to give working parents a chance.

More likely achievable? Despite all the working and SAHM parents here telling you otherwise? But this is an issue for you to address with your school. No need to insult other parents who have different schedules.

let me explain the difference to you between mandatory and discretionary activities …

Oh sit down. You’re not able to get the change you want at your school and yet somehow you think you’d be good for the PTA. You’re clearly not that important or necessary or else you’d get your way.

[Anonymous]

I don’t agree with any activity or fundraiser that the pta does, so it doesn’t matter what time they hold meetings. We shouldn’t have to fundraiser for needed upgrades for our kids. We shouldn’t have to do nonstop teacher appreciation activities. Maybe we should ask teachers what they really want? Do you want your principal to finally manage that kid who is having you class evacuated on a daily/ weekly basis or do you want a free sub?

I also am really annoyed that it’s the same moms at every event. I don’t feel welcomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with any activity or fundraiser that the pta does, so it doesn’t matter what time they hold meetings. We shouldn’t have to fundraiser for needed upgrades for our kids. We shouldn’t have to do nonstop teacher appreciation activities. Maybe we should ask teachers what they really want? Do you want your principal to finally manage that kid who is having you class evacuated on a daily/ weekly basis or do you want a free sub?

I also am really annoyed that it’s the same moms at every event. I don’t feel welcomed.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is there to explain? Much easier to meet without distractions of children and evening routines and needing to arrange childcare. By 8:30 I'm tired.

So am I sweetie, but I try to be inclusive to everyone.

Don’t you dare call me sweetie you dog

Um....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing I think is hilarious is that our PTO meets at 10:00am on weekdays twice a year and has zero information about what they do on their website (does not share the meeting notes or budget) then has the audacity to complain to anyone who can listen about how parents don't volunteer for anything. I'm all in on the Venmo mom trend, ladies. F* you, you little hypocrites.

We all are in the pta even if you don't acrtively participate. Not one time did I hear any sahm complain about lack of volunteers or partcipation from working parents. Not once. And yet you are on here trashing parents who do spend their time helping your kids.

Please stop tearing down other women

I am telling you that I have heard PTO moms complain that they don't get any volunteers. I know them, their children play sports with mine, everyone talks on the sidelines. I TOLD them that I would love to volunteer if only I could attend their meetings. They said that this was the most convenient time for their board members. I said okay, sorry I'm not able to participate then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t PTAs get with the times and do virtual meetings like the rest of the world?!

Because it mostly about building community, not accomplishing a list of tasks. We do both, of course, but the virtual meetings are pointless -- might as well send an email to accomplish the same thing.

It's hard to build community when you are excluding a large portion of families.

I find it hard to believe neither mom nor dad is ever available at whatever time your PTA meets.

Really? Just like the SAHMs who would prefer to spend time with their families in the evenings rather than attend a 7pm PTA meeting, I would prefer use my paid leave/vacation time to spend time with my family rather than use it to attend a PTA meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t PTAs get with the times and do virtual meetings like the rest of the world?!

Because it mostly about building community, not accomplishing a list of tasks. We do both, of course, but the virtual meetings are pointless -- might as well send an email to accomplish the same thing.

It's hard to build community when you are excluding a large portion of families.

I find it hard to believe neither mom nor dad is ever available at whatever time your PTA meets.

Really? Just like the SAHMs who would prefer to spend time with their families in the evenings rather than attend a 7pm PTA meeting, I would prefer use my paid leave/vacation time to spend time with my family rather than use it to attend a PTA meeting.

Again with the SAHMs. Are you just jealous or what? Because plenty of working moms don’t want to meet at 7 either. I can’t imagine being this worked up about missing a PTA meeting. Count your blessings- they are boring and they will talk about planning a bunch of events you won’t agree with or want to use your precious time volunteering at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re usually eating dinner at 7 or driving to and from activities, even as late as 830. This is no more or less convenient than the morning. It’s exactly as it was already explained to you.

I feel sad for mothers whose husbands refuse to parent in the evenings. I don't understand how if DH and I who both work out of the home can make evening meetings and activities happen, a SAHM with a husband who works can't. I mean by 8:30 my children are home from activities and winding down. DH can handle getting them to bed if I have an activity or event.

You do understand that people have more than 1 kid and some have 3, 4 or more and it takes two parents to drive the kids, manage dinner, put kids to bed when kids are at different ages and stages. Nobody wants to jump on a zoom for a boring PTA meeting by 830 after a long day. This isn’t a SAHM issue that you’re trying to make it out to be. On any given night one kid has an activity from 430-730, another from 530-630, and another from 6–8pm. It’s all hands on deck after school until late in the evening.

Yet somehow my husband manages just fine with three children on the nights that I have work events that don't get me home until after the children have gone to bed. We rely on carpools for the children's activities on those nights. The children my husband isn't engaging with at that time play or read in their rooms - putting a kid to sleep doesn't have to take a lot of time. My kids are pretty independent, even the youngest. It's not as hard as you are trying to make it out to be.

It’s all about priorities. I’d be hard-pressed to leave my kids at bedtime for a PTA meeting. I like being with my kids! After dropoff is better for me. Most/many jobs offer time off, which people may or may not utilize to use for PTA meetings. It’s up to them, but I’m not taking time away from my family for things that can be accomplished during school hours.

I’m the teacher who just posted above. Would you find it okay if I leave your child’s classroom with a sub once a month so I can attend these meetings, as well? Sincere question here.

You don’t have to justify your use of time off to me or any other parents. If you want to attend a PTA meeting, do so.

This isn’t about justification. It’s about what is acceptable.

There are hundreds of thousands of teachers who are also parents. We don’t get to do any schoolday activities with our own children unless we are at the same school, which is often not the case.

I shouldn’t HAVE to write sub plans, find a sub, and deprive my students of their teacher every time there is a PTA meeting at my own children’s school.

Have the meetings in the evening, which is likely more achievable for the majority of parents. Sure, we are all tired and we are giving up family time. This is the only way, however, to give working parents a chance.

More likely achievable? Despite all the working and SAHM parents here telling you otherwise? But this is an issue for you to address with your school. No need to insult other parents who have different schedules.

let me explain the difference to you between mandatory and discretionary activities …

Oh sit down. You’re not able to get the change you want at your school and yet somehow you think you’d be good for the PTA. You’re clearly not that important or necessary or else you’d get your way.

And this above is an example of the PTA leadership and communication style you value?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re usually eating dinner at 7 or driving to and from activities, even as late as 830. This is no more or less convenient than the morning. It’s exactly as it was already explained to you.

I feel sad for mothers whose husbands refuse to parent in the evenings. I don't understand how if DH and I who both work out of the home can make evening meetings and activities happen, a SAHM with a husband who works can't. I mean by 8:30 my children are home from activities and winding down. DH can handle getting them to bed if I have an activity or event.

You do understand that people have more than 1 kid and some have 3, 4 or more and it takes two parents to drive the kids, manage dinner, put kids to bed when kids are at different ages and stages. Nobody wants to jump on a zoom for a boring PTA meeting by 830 after a long day. This isn’t a SAHM issue that you’re trying to make it out to be. On any given night one kid has an activity from 430-730, another from 530-630, and another from 6–8pm. It’s all hands on deck after school until late in the evening.

Yet somehow my husband manages just fine with three children on the nights that I have work events that don't get me home until after the children have gone to bed. We rely on carpools for the children's activities on those nights. The children my husband isn't engaging with at that time play or read in their rooms - putting a kid to sleep doesn't have to take a lot of time. My kids are pretty independent, even the youngest. It's not as hard as you are trying to make it out to be.

It’s all about priorities. I’d be hard-pressed to leave my kids at bedtime for a PTA meeting. I like being with my kids! After dropoff is better for me. Most/many jobs offer time off, which people may or may not utilize to use for PTA meetings. It’s up to them, but I’m not taking time away from my family for things that can be accomplished during school hours.

I’m the teacher who just posted above. Would you find it okay if I leave your child’s classroom with a sub once a month so I can attend these meetings, as well? Sincere question here.

You don’t have to justify your use of time off to me or any other parents. If you want to attend a PTA meeting, do so.

This isn’t about justification. It’s about what is acceptable.

There are hundreds of thousands of teachers who are also parents. We don’t get to do any schoolday activities with our own children unless we are at the same school, which is often not the case.

I shouldn’t HAVE to write sub plans, find a sub, and deprive my students of their teacher every time there is a PTA meeting at my own children’s school.

Have the meetings in the evening, which is likely more achievable for the majority of parents. Sure, we are all tired and we are giving up family time. This is the only way, however, to give working parents a chance.

More likely achievable? Despite all the working and SAHM parents here telling you otherwise? But this is an issue for you to address with your school. No need to insult other parents who have different schedules.

let me explain the difference to you between mandatory and discretionary activities …

Oh sit down. You’re not able to get the change you want at your school and yet somehow you think you’d be good for the PTA. You’re clearly not that important or necessary or else you’d get your way.

And this above is an example of the PTA leadership and communication style you value?

As if I waste time at PTA meetings. They have no power or real authority so they spend time planning silly teacher appreciation events because all they can do. What do you think they actually do and what difference could you possibly make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re usually eating dinner at 7 or driving to and from activities, even as late as 830. This is no more or less convenient than the morning. It’s exactly as it was already explained to you.

I feel sad for mothers whose husbands refuse to parent in the evenings. I don't understand how if DH and I who both work out of the home can make evening meetings and activities happen, a SAHM with a husband who works can't. I mean by 8:30 my children are home from activities and winding down. DH can handle getting them to bed if I have an activity or event.

You do understand that people have more than 1 kid and some have 3, 4 or more and it takes two parents to drive the kids, manage dinner, put kids to bed when kids are at different ages and stages. Nobody wants to jump on a zoom for a boring PTA meeting by 830 after a long day. This isn’t a SAHM issue that you’re trying to make it out to be. On any given night one kid has an activity from 430-730, another from 530-630, and another from 6–8pm. It’s all hands on deck after school until late in the evening.

Yet somehow my husband manages just fine with three children on the nights that I have work events that don't get me home until after the children have gone to bed. We rely on carpools for the children's activities on those nights. The children my husband isn't engaging with at that time play or read in their rooms - putting a kid to sleep doesn't have to take a lot of time. My kids are pretty independent, even the youngest. It's not as hard as you are trying to make it out to be.

It’s all about priorities. I’d be hard-pressed to leave my kids at bedtime for a PTA meeting. I like being with my kids! After dropoff is better for me. Most/many jobs offer time off, which people may or may not utilize to use for PTA meetings. It’s up to them, but I’m not taking time away from my family for things that can be accomplished during school hours.

I’m the teacher who just posted above. Would you find it okay if I leave your child’s classroom with a sub once a month so I can attend these meetings, as well? Sincere question here.

You don’t have to justify your use of time off to me or any other parents. If you want to attend a PTA meeting, do so.

This isn’t about justification. It’s about what is acceptable.

There are hundreds of thousands of teachers who are also parents. We don’t get to do any schoolday activities with our own children unless we are at the same school, which is often not the case.

I shouldn’t HAVE to write sub plans, find a sub, and deprive my students of their teacher every time there is a PTA meeting at my own children’s school.

Have the meetings in the evening, which is likely more achievable for the majority of parents. Sure, we are all tired and we are giving up family time. This is the only way, however, to give working parents a chance.

More likely achievable? Despite all the working and SAHM parents here telling you otherwise? But this is an issue for you to address with your school. No need to insult other parents who have different schedules.

let me explain the difference to you between mandatory and discretionary activities …

Oh sit down. You’re not able to get the change you want at your school and yet somehow you think you’d be good for the PTA. You’re clearly not that important or necessary or else you’d get your way.

I don’t need to get any change because our PTA meetings are at 6 and any suggesting a daytime meeting would be laughed out of the room.

[Anonymous]

💩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t PTAs get with the times and do virtual meetings like the rest of the world?!

Because it mostly about building community, not accomplishing a list of tasks. We do both, of course, but the virtual meetings are pointless -- might as well send an email to accomplish the same thing.

It's hard to build community when you are excluding a large portion of families.

I find it hard to believe neither mom nor dad is ever available at whatever time your PTA meets.

Really? Just like the SAHMs who would prefer to spend time with their families in the evenings rather than attend a 7pm PTA meeting, I would prefer use my paid leave/vacation time to spend time with my family rather than use it to attend a PTA meeting.

Again with the SAHMs. Are you just jealous or what? Because plenty of working moms don’t want to meet at 7 either. I can’t imagine being this worked up about missing a PTA meeting. Count your blessings- they are boring and they will talk about planning a bunch of events you won’t agree with or want to use your precious time volunteering at.

Way to miss the point, lady.

[Anonymous]

I mean, just stop expecting me to open up my checkbook if you're going to complain about me all the time, LOL

[Anonymous]

Our school principal always set the day and time of the meeting, not the board. As a parent, when your kids get mid-elementary school, night can also be a problem because of kids activiites. My spouse would have to adjust his work schedule so I could attend the monthly meeting. The principal didn't care it was an issue for some parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t PTAs get with the times and do virtual meetings like the rest of the world?!

Because it mostly about building community, not accomplishing a list of tasks. We do both, of course, but the virtual meetings are pointless -- might as well send an email to accomplish the same thing.

It's hard to build community when you are excluding a large portion of families.

I find it hard to believe neither mom nor dad is ever available at whatever time your PTA meets.

Really? Just like the SAHMs who would prefer to spend time with their families in the evenings rather than attend a 7pm PTA meeting, I would prefer use my paid leave/vacation time to spend time with my family rather than use it to attend a PTA meeting.

Again with the SAHMs. Are you just jealous or what? Because plenty of working moms don’t want to meet at 7 either. I can’t imagine being this worked up about missing a PTA meeting. Count your blessings- they are boring and they will talk about planning a bunch of events you won’t agree with or want to use your precious time volunteering at.

Way to miss the point, lady.

What is your point other than dumping on other parents? The PTA meeting isn’t worth all this angst. Nothing of substance happens at these meetings.