Why do so many SAHMs insist on PTA or activity meetings during the school day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're right, OP. It's a big conspiracy to exclude you. You should run for president and create a schedule that suits you better!

+1. If you’re willing to put in the hours, you can arrange a schedule that suits you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

They have explained and you don’t want to hear the explanation. They are busy at those times. Not everything can be worked around what is convenient for you. If you were really needed they would try to accommodate you, but clearly they are fine without you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a working mom I’m just glad other moms are willing to do this work. I wouldn’t take time from my job for this in the am and I don’t want to take time from my kids in the evening.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

I am a working mom with three children and I will say that this is the norm and while I am not on the PTA I also probably wouldn't go to a meeting at 8 pm since that would be equally inconvenient. I volunteer at my kids' school but plan to get more involved when my children are older and I have more bandwidth. I think you need to let this go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

That’s a hard time even for working parents, especially with multiples and sports. Also, as your kids get older 8:30 is not after bed. After bedtime is actually fairly late. Have you tried suggesting 6pm? Or maybe a late afternoon time that works for you?

[Anonymous]

They don’t want parents with jobs.

You can be upset about the disrespect and exclusion and your feelings will be valid.

Or

You can take it as a glorious get out of jail free card. You do not have to participate not because you were unwilling but— sigh— because you aren’t the target volunteer demographic. Do not volunteer, do not Venmo, and only go to the activities that actually appeal to you (or your kid) and don’t guilt free.

And if you’re ever — ever!— approached or guilted about it you just smile and say how glad you are that people have so much free time to donate to the (name the activity)

[Anonymous]

Why would they do it at night when the whole day is free? Makes no sense. They probably want to spend time with their kids when they’re home like anyone else.

[Anonymous]

I've always been a WOHM and in the early years was very active for my kids' schools. Although most of the meetings were in the evening (I couldn't have attended at all if they weren't) it slowly became clear that I was at best the token WOHM and at worst unwelcome. I gave up and now do zero for the schools. It's not worth it to me, and I don't think it matters whether the PTA exists at all. So, OP, sorry you are experiencing this but I wouldn't expect anyone is going to try to meet you halfway. Just find the things you can do without being there in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would they do it at night when the whole day is free? Makes no sense. They probably want to spend time with their kids when they’re home like anyone else.

I have been at two schools. At our old school, everything was always at 7pm. PTA board meetings were in person with the principal during school hours.

At our new school, we do a mix of evening and during the school day. We have those grade coffees right when school starts and those are well attended. If isn’t pta though. Many parents just stay after drop off and leave when they need to.

Many parents seem to have flexible schedules. We also do zoom and in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH in large part because of the crazy hours my DH works. Any meeting I have to attend in the evening requires hiring a sitter, which I prefer not to pay for and also, given that my children rarely have their dad home in the evening, I don't want them to have many evenings where there are put to bed by a paid caregiver. I did have these kids because I wanted to raise them.

When there are evening events, I do my best to make it work and attend, but much prefer the meetings to be during the daytime. When I am in charge, I schedule things right after drop off, as I've found that many working parents are able to attend something from 815-845 or 9am and then shoot downtown (we are a city school) a bit later in the morning than usual. So I always pick this time instead of that 10am post workout time that the rich SAHMs like or the 1:30/2pm pre carpool meeting time.

I'm sorry but the bolded part is extremely rude and I'm tired of the whole "working parents don't raise their kids schtick". How often do PTA meetings happen? Once a month at MOST. Hiring a sitter to put your kids to bed once a month does not = raising them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

I’ve literally never heard of a daytime PTA meeting. 8:30 would also be inconvenient and annoying. Our school does them at 6:30.

yeah - our school did 630 usually with babysitting or kids playing on playground. I think there would have been IMMEDIATE listserv blow-up if someone tried to schedule a PTA/volunteer meeting during working hours, lol

Who is paying for babysitting at a pta meeting?

My daughter is part of a service league that provides babysitting at PTA meetings for service hours

[Anonymous]

We’ve tried having evening meeting a few different times, because someone always asks if we can. You know what happens? That person doesn’t show and neither does anyone else new. So the rest of us agree we will just move it back to the time that suits us, since we are the only ones coming anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH in large part because of the crazy hours my DH works. Any meeting I have to attend in the evening requires hiring a sitter, which I prefer not to pay for and also, given that my children rarely have their dad home in the evening, I don't want them to have many evenings where there are put to bed by a paid caregiver. I did have these kids because I wanted to raise them.

When there are evening events, I do my best to make it work and attend, but much prefer the meetings to be during the daytime. When I am in charge, I schedule things right after drop off, as I've found that many working parents are able to attend something from 815-845 or 9am and then shoot downtown (we are a city school) a bit later in the morning than usual. So I always pick this time instead of that 10am post workout time that the rich SAHMs like or the 1:30/2pm pre carpool meeting time.

I'm sorry but the bolded part is extremely rude and I'm tired of the whole "working parents don't raise their kids schtick". How often do PTA meetings happen? Once a month at MOST. Hiring a sitter to put your kids to bed once a month does not = raising them

Well by PP’s own definition, her husband isn’t raising his kids either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

I’ve literally never heard of a daytime PTA meeting. 8:30 would also be inconvenient and annoying. Our school does them at 6:30.

yeah - our school did 630 usually with babysitting or kids playing on playground. I think there would have been IMMEDIATE listserv blow-up if someone tried to schedule a PTA/volunteer meeting during working hours, lol

Who is paying for babysitting at a pta meeting?

I believe the PTA paid some aftercare staff to stay an extra hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

They have explained and you don’t want to hear the explanation. They are busy at those times. Not everything can be worked around what is convenient for you. If you were really needed they would try to accommodate you, but clearly they are fine without you.

lol ok. well then stop complaining about the lack of volunteers.