Why do so many SAHMs insist on PTA or activity meetings during the school day?

[Anonymous]

Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

[Anonymous]

No idea. All our PTA weekday events are at 7 or later. Mostly working parents who are moms with a couple dads. Who are happy to delegate dinner and bed time for a night.

[Anonymous]

If I were a stay at home mom, that's what I would prefer too - isn't it obvious? That's when they have free time, so it's most convenient for them. Just take turns - have some of them right after school drop off in the morning, so the working parents will only miss some work but can still attend, and have some of them at night after work.

[Anonymous]

Because it suits their buttocks is this a clown question?

[Anonymous]

SAHM here. I never demanded this and attended all the evening meetings to accommodate others. BUT, it was very inconvenient for me because my DH worked a late and also unpredictable schedule (part of the reason I SAH). So I usually had to hire/pay a sitter to attend PTA meetings. You probably wouldn’t want have to do that if that were your situation so maybe you can understand you don’t know what other people’s obligations look like.

[Anonymous]

Some people are single moms, spouses are traveling for work, they like to be home in the evenings, etc.

Once I get home after work, I don't want to go out again later that day.

[Anonymous]

For me it was like shift work- i was 'on duty' doing hands on childcare afterschool pick up and until after dinner- then my partner and i woudl switch off bedtime until we had 3 in whoch case we'd switch which kid we were taking care of. My own free time to do ther thinsg was always during teh school day. If it had been easy to depend on my partner/if they didnt have an erracyic schedule i probably wouldve worked more and sah less. im certanly not paying for ababysittter to attend a PTA meeting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I never demanded this and attended all the evening meetings to accommodate others. BUT, it was very inconvenient for me because my DH worked a late and also unpredictable schedule (part of the reason I SAH). So I usually had to hire/pay a sitter to attend PTA meetings. You probably wouldn’t want have to do that if that were your situation so maybe you can understand you don’t know what other people’s obligations look like.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I never demanded this and attended all the evening meetings to accommodate others. BUT, it was very inconvenient for me because my DH worked a late and also unpredictable schedule (part of the reason I SAH). So I usually had to hire/pay a sitter to attend PTA meetings. You probably wouldn’t want have to do that if that were your situation so maybe you can understand you don’t know what other people’s obligations look like.

Sad for your children. Do they ever see him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I never demanded this and attended all the evening meetings to accommodate others. BUT, it was very inconvenient for me because my DH worked a late and also unpredictable schedule (part of the reason I SAH). So I usually had to hire/pay a sitter to attend PTA meetings. You probably wouldn’t want have to do that if that were your situation so maybe you can understand you don’t know what other people’s obligations look like.

Sad for your children. Do they ever see him?

No he also has a mistress

[Anonymous]

I SAH in large part because of the crazy hours my DH works. Any meeting I have to attend in the evening requires hiring a sitter, which I prefer not to pay for and also, given that my children rarely have their dad home in the evening, I don't want them to have many evenings where there are put to bed by a paid caregiver. I did have these kids because I wanted to raise them.

When there are evening events, I do my best to make it work and attend, but much prefer the meetings to be during the daytime. When I am in charge, I schedule things right after drop off, as I've found that many working parents are able to attend something from 815-845 or 9am and then shoot downtown (we are a city school) a bit later in the morning than usual. So I always pick this time instead of that 10am post workout time that the rich SAHMs like or the 1:30/2pm pre carpool meeting time.

[Anonymous]

We’re usually eating dinner at 7 or driving to and from activities, even as late as 830. This is no more or less convenient than the morning. It’s exactly as it was already explained to you.

[Anonymous]

If you want their time, you have to do it when it’s convenient for the volunteers. If the WOHMs volunteer on evenings and weekends, then they can set the schedule. As a SAHM, I prefer being with my DH and kids in the evenings—not because I don’t trust DH, not because my kids can’t go to bed without me, but because my kids’ school gets enough time from me during the day. I don’t need to be involved in the evenings as well.

[Anonymous]

What is there to explain? Much easier to meet without distractions of children and evening routines and needing to arrange childcare. By 8:30 I'm tired.

[Anonymous]

As you can see, they don't care that it excludes working moms, who would have many of these exact same issues with the evening meetings that they do. Selfish.