Why do so many SAHMs insist on PTA or activity meetings during the school day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

Which is a larger group- parents working during normal working hours or parents unable to attend at 6pm

Parent unable to attend at 6 because that time sucks for working and SAHM parents. As said numerous times. Almost everyone is busy then, not just some of the people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want parents with jobs.

You can be upset about the disrespect and exclusion and your feelings will be valid.

Or

You can take it as a glorious get out of jail free card. You do not have to participate not because you were unwilling but— sigh— because you aren’t the target volunteer demographic. Do not volunteer, do not Venmo, and only go to the activities that actually appeal to you (or your kid) and don’t guilt free.

And if you’re ever — ever!— approached or guilted about it you just smile and say how glad you are that people have so much free time to donate to the (name the activity)

This. I feel entirely absolved of the guilt I once felt to be helpful. School volunteering is a SAHM show, and I scroll past anything the PTA has to say.

I find this astounding. Imagine women dismissing other women because you think you are above it all. Too bad if you scroll pass your kids may miss some activities because you are too busy being superior. Funny, if this was coming from a man we would say that's typical man dismissing a woman. But, it is really sad when women can't support other women. We are volunteering for the benefit of all the children! Even yours. A little appreication would be nice.

These are women intentionally excluding other women, though. No one needs to listen to them.

If your PTA doesn’t flex the schedule so working parents can participate, you are “dismissing” those women’s contributions. Why should they then care about yours?

Those women don’t show up anyway. If they can’t make an after school drop off meeting I’m sure they’ll find reasons 6, 7, 8pm don’t work either. Priorities. If people want to meet to plan frivolous events, let them. Is anyone really dying to get in on that? If they send around a signup genius to work an event, donate time then, or just write a check, or just do nothing. It doesn’t really matter in the end.

This was the advice I gave— if people don’t value you, you don’t have to value them. The poster who I was responding to found that “astounding” and wanted gratitude for her role despite deliberately excluding others.

It would be impossible to value everyone equally. What is it people like OP expect to get out of the PTA meeting? They are actually pretty boring and tedious. Is it just FOMO?

I don’t see why it’s impossible to value everyone equally. But a even if you were right, why should OP value the people who don’t value her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

Why would it annoy people if someone wanted to participate?

Offhand, if the person excluded was your child’s pediatrician who can’t make the meeting right after dropoff because her office is open for sick visits, would you be more willing to move a meeting to 5 or 6?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want parents with jobs.

You can be upset about the disrespect and exclusion and your feelings will be valid.

Or

You can take it as a glorious get out of jail free card. You do not have to participate not because you were unwilling but— sigh— because you aren’t the target volunteer demographic. Do not volunteer, do not Venmo, and only go to the activities that actually appeal to you (or your kid) and don’t guilt free.

And if you’re ever — ever!— approached or guilted about it you just smile and say how glad you are that people have so much free time to donate to the (name the activity)

This. I feel entirely absolved of the guilt I once felt to be helpful. School volunteering is a SAHM show, and I scroll past anything the PTA has to say.

I find this astounding. Imagine women dismissing other women because you think you are above it all. Too bad if you scroll pass your kids may miss some activities because you are too busy being superior. Funny, if this was coming from a man we would say that's typical man dismissing a woman. But, it is really sad when women can't support other women. We are volunteering for the benefit of all the children! Even yours. A little appreication would be nice.

These are women intentionally excluding other women, though. No one needs to listen to them.

If your PTA doesn’t flex the schedule so working parents can participate, you are “dismissing” those women’s contributions. Why should they then care about yours?

Those women don’t show up anyway. If they can’t make an after school drop off meeting I’m sure they’ll find reasons 6, 7, 8pm don’t work either. Priorities. If people want to meet to plan frivolous events, let them. Is anyone really dying to get in on that? If they send around a signup genius to work an event, donate time then, or just write a check, or just do nothing. It doesn’t really matter in the end.

This was the advice I gave— if people don’t value you, you don’t have to value them. The poster who I was responding to found that “astounding” and wanted gratitude for her role despite deliberately excluding others.

It would be impossible to value everyone equally. What is it people like OP expect to get out of the PTA meeting? They are actually pretty boring and tedious. Is it just FOMO?

I don’t see why it’s impossible to value everyone equally. But a even if you were right, why should OP value the people who don’t value her?

She doesn’t need to but it’s clear she doesn’t like them coming out swinging the way she does questioning their marriages all because they planned an early meeting. That doesn’t bode well for a productive meeting with people focused on a single goal for the enrichment of their children.

[Anonymous]

I am on the executive board of two PTAs at two different schools and we have all of our meetings at 7pm. A lot of them have a virtual component.

But honestly the virtual part is hard (doing hybrid). We don't have higher attendance. We don't have the proper equipment to do both. Getting translators set up for virtual meetings is more difficult. Also, there is no community component when its virtual.

For what it is worth, I work a full time job and my kids are in a lot of activities. My husband also travels a lot. We aren't all stay at home moms. Some of us just don't sleep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

Why would it annoy people if someone wanted to participate?

Offhand, if the person excluded was your child’s pediatrician who can’t make the meeting right after dropoff because her office is open for sick visits, would you be more willing to move a meeting to 5 or 6?

I’m sure my child’s pediatrician would have no trouble making that meeting given all the times I’ve been prompt and ready for a first appointment of the day and the Dr strolls in 30 mins late. But, OP doesn’t want to participate she wants to spew venom and women she feels beneath her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

Why would it annoy people if someone wanted to participate?

Offhand, if the person excluded was your child’s pediatrician who can’t make the meeting right after dropoff because her office is open for sick visits, would you be more willing to move a meeting to 5 or 6?

I’m sure my child’s pediatrician would have no trouble making that meeting given all the times I’ve been prompt and ready for a first appointment of the day and the Dr strolls in 30 mins late. But, OP doesn’t want to participate she wants to spew venom and women she feels beneath her.

OK swap out “your child’s pediatrician” for a woman in a job you do value and respect which cannot be casually moved for a PTA meeting. If it was someone whose expertise you valued, wouldn’t you make accommodations for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

There you go again, making assumptions.

But no response for those parents unable to make your preferred time right after dropoff.

You and OP, though you appear to be on opposite sides, are actually the same. Neither seems able to understand what other PPs have repeatedly stated: no single time of day or day of the week will work for every parent. So have mtgs at different times on different days so everyone is equally inconvenienced and offended.

BTDT. This is not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly think the pta should be abolished. I don’t agree with anything they do. Even the fundraising. We shouldn’t have to fundraiser for needed improvements. The school board is spending millions on tech contracts or lawyers because they’re being sued by special needs parents. Cut some of that out and we’d have ample money for our schools. The money is there, it’s just not being allocated correctly.

I also don’t like fundraising for teacher lunches. Why?? Only pink collar jobs try to reward their employees this way. It’s frankly insulting to teachers I think. Teachers would rather you fix school problems than give them a free baked potato.

The demands of parents of mildly Special needs kids will be the death of public education. The number of IEPs and 504s and the resources needed to execute them grows every year. It’s actually mostly the DCUM level of parents responsible for this so it’s ironic you bring it up here. It’s not possible for schools to cut out all the lawyering and resources to deal with it. So if that’s your beef, then public school is not for you at this point.

[Anonymous]

Do people really enjoy attending PTA meetings?! I do not, and did not even when I was on the board for a year. LOL. I almost never attend and just read the meeting notes online (and rarely is there anything of genuine interest happening). All meetings are also live-streamed now, in the event anyone wants to watch.

What do people enjoy about going to the meetings? Ours are incredibly boring (and I think that is why attendance is light no matter what time they are scheduled).

Do some people view the meetings as more of a social thing maybe?? Otherwise, I totally don’t get it. As far as I’m concerned, the board/heavy volunteer types might as well just have them when it works best for them. Not something anyone else usually attends anyway.

Maybe our school is unusual.

[Anonymous]

our meetings are at 7 pm, most are via zoom, with only a couple in person meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want parents with jobs.

You can be upset about the disrespect and exclusion and your feelings will be valid.

Or

You can take it as a glorious get out of jail free card. You do not have to participate not because you were unwilling but— sigh— because you aren’t the target volunteer demographic. Do not volunteer, do not Venmo, and only go to the activities that actually appeal to you (or your kid) and don’t guilt free.

And if you’re ever — ever!— approached or guilted about it you just smile and say how glad you are that people have so much free time to donate to the (name the activity)

This. I feel entirely absolved of the guilt I once felt to be helpful. School volunteering is a SAHM show, and I scroll past anything the PTA has to say.

Do you really take institutional schedules this personally? So fragile, geez

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my kids’ elementary, they tried evening meetings and not many came. They switched meetings to 8AM (school start time of 8AM) and had much better attendance. Working parents who wanted to attend would just start work late that day, and most SAHPs preferred it. They also live-streamed the meetings.

I didn’t have any say in scheduling, just saying how it worked at our school.

+1. This is how our school does it too. Working moms who have the bandwidth to volunteer with the PTA usually also have the flexibility to start work at 9:30am one day a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever think about working parents who have to punch a clock and can’t attend mtgs right after drop-off?

Didn’t think so. Only certain kinds of WOHPs count on DCUM.

Oh boo hoo. You’re excluding a whole lot of parents by assuming everyone can make it at 6pm, right when you conveniently get off work.

My, my.

You should really be getting more of a return on that crystal ball you use to peer into the lives and minds of random internet posters. Surely, you could monetize that a bit better than just posting to DCUM?

Surely you could figure out a way to attend a PTA meeting not at your preferred time. But you won’t because you don’t really want to attend you just want to annoy the people willing to put in the time. You’re not missing much why do you even care?

There you go again, making assumptions.

But no response for those parents unable to make your preferred time right after dropoff.

You and OP, though you appear to be on opposite sides, are actually the same. Neither seems able to understand what other PPs have repeatedly stated: no single time of day or day of the week will work for every parent. So have mtgs at different times on different days so everyone is equally inconvenienced and offended.

BTDT. This is not rocket science.

We all get that no works perfectly. But only OP is going for the jugular “what, don’t trust your HuSbANdS”? Gross. OP hasn’t even said why going to the PTA meeting is so important anyway. But if someone comes out swinging like that nobody is going to bend over backwards to try and include them. We don’t go to OPs school so I really don’t care what they do. But perhaps OPs attitude, as displayed here, has been noticed and dealt with accordingly by her PTA.