Rant: I stupidly picked a career that’s not family friendly

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11/27/2023 15:15

Subject: Rant: I stupidly picked a career that’s not family friendly

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are overemphasizing maternity leave and breast feeding vs everything that comes after. As mid career professional, you will have more flexibility as a doctor than the lawyers or tech workers (and more job security). Trust me, in a few years, you will be very glad you made the choice you did!!!!

Thank you. You are probably right. Just in my feels knowing I’ll have a repeat with my last baby who barely knew me and was attached to dad and not me since I immediately go back to an intense schedule after leave. I’m hoping that if we go for a third, I’ll at least be financially in a place to take a break or pivot and have that bonding others have described (maybe even breastfeed exclusively). I’d like to at least have that experience once. But I agree long term it’s a good career. I appreciate that overall you all have been kind in your responses.

I'm so sorry OP, people have been hard on you I think. My close family member is an OB and medical training is incredibly difficult, most posting probably do not understand the intensity of the schedule. I also think people really underestimate the benefits of work from home on family life. Yes most lawyers work long hours, but most physicians early in their career work long hours but are outside the home 5 days a week (sometimes 5.5-6 if they need to round on a saturday morning, or have call shifts). It really is an added difference. Are you an attending now though? It sounds like you are, are there any other private practice options that require less call? Is that part of your problem? Particularly thinking about a practice that employs hospitalists to primarily cover nights etc.

How old is your oldest? Pumping on the go has gotten MUCH better in recent years, and I do think that helped my sister to feel connected during that first year. She used the Elvie stride (would wear it during surgery and there is a button you can press I think she said on her hip to turn it on when it is time). She was able to exclusively breastfeed for a year if that gives you any hope. I know this is a piss poor solution to your issue, I do wish policies were better.

I think a lot of people responding know physicians a little farther along. Most don't go part time right out of residency, which you likely aren't that far out of if you're in the baby phase. Physicians right out of residency need to build their skills, OP is a surgeon and has to build her skills as an independently practicing physician, it's incredibly hard to step back.

Anyway I'm sorry OP. Your job is in fact harder than most of ours, in my personal opinion from watching from afar. It is more physical, more draining. Making care decisions for patients all day long is tough and emotionally exhausting work. Don't let everyone on this thread convince you they all somehow work just as hard Aside from Big Law which I agree is incredibly stressful in other ways. That doesn't mean you should have gone into law though.. you can make this work.

I’ve worked in a hospital alongside many female residents and early career doctors and they have all made sacrifices to grow their families. Some have even decided not to breastfeed. No one has it all and the grass always looks greener elsewhere. The payoff will come down the road.