Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean. I worked in an incrediblytoxic environment (all women) and it was making me unravel mentally and physically. I was a wreck. I decided to leave but bascially had to work 7 more weeks due to project obligations. Those 7 weeks felt like a year. THe environment was so tense, I was unravelling and not myself. I felt like I was in an alternate world and there were days and weeks where I didn't think I would make it to the end. But I did. And left without burning every birdge. Took me months to recover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I worked in an incrediblytoxic environment (all women) and it was making me unravel mentally and physically. I was a wreck. I decided to leave but bascially had to work 7 more weeks due to project obligations. Those 7 weeks felt like a year. THe environment was so tense, I was unravelling and not myself. I felt like I was in an alternate world and there were days and weeks where I didn't think I would make it to the end. But I did. And left without burning every birdge. Took me months to recover.

Op here. How did you get through it? Can you remember any strategies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How big is this company? You mentioned being at a table with 10 colleagues. Is there more than 1 table?

Op here. It’s a large organization but my team/department is only 10 people and the lunch will include all of us. So there won’t be any broader group to act as a buffer or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Do not give notice until you are vested. They could walk you out the door that day and you would lose it all. Instead of stressing about the lunch, go to the lunch. It’s food, it’s in public, and think of it of four fewer hours your boss can go off on you. Stay at your desk the other times and keep your head down. Confide in no one there. The sad thing is that I’m sure plenty of people know your boss is an AH, and they’re just choosing not to do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not give notice until you are vested. They could walk you out the door that day and you would lose it all. Instead of stressing about the lunch, go to the lunch. It’s food, it’s in public, and think of it of four fewer hours your boss can go off on you. Stay at your desk the other times and keep your head down. Confide in no one there. The sad thing is that I’m sure plenty of people know your boss is an AH, and they’re just choosing not to do anything about it.

Op here. You’re right. I’ll try to just go.

Yes, I’m giving notice on Jan 2nd (the day I vest), knowing I’ll be ok if they walk me out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I worked in an incrediblytoxic environment (all women) and it was making me unravel mentally and physically. I was a wreck. I decided to leave but bascially had to work 7 more weeks due to project obligations. Those 7 weeks felt like a year. THe environment was so tense, I was unravelling and not myself. I felt like I was in an alternate world and there were days and weeks where I didn't think I would make it to the end. But I did. And left without burning every birdge. Took me months to recover.

I even contemplated doing drugs to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:No advice, OP, just commiseration. My DH just left a similarly toxic and hostile work environment. He too had to wait—he knew he had to go back in July and just started his new job last week—he was waiting until his longevity date to leave, for retirement and bonus purposes. So I get it.

He was MISERABLE. They made it hell the last couple months. They wanted him gone. He took a lot of sick time. They actually allowed him to use two weeks of sick time at the end, they just wanted him gone. Is that something you might be able to do? Personal time? Vacation time?

They should just offer him a couple month pay to leave right away. It’s easier on him and easier on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I worked in an incrediblytoxic environment (all women) and it was making me unravel mentally and physically. I was a wreck. I decided to leave but bascially had to work 7 more weeks due to project obligations. Those 7 weeks felt like a year. THe environment was so tense, I was unravelling and not myself. I felt like I was in an alternate world and there were days and weeks where I didn't think I would make it to the end. But I did. And left without burning every birdge. Took me months to recover.

I even contemplated doing drugs to deal with this.

Op here. I’ve thought the same thing!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation where I was in a horrible, toxic workplace but needed to stick it out for about 3 more months. At one point my best friend said to me, "You know, you can just quit. Any time you want to quit you can. It's not indentured servitude."

I don't know why, but just knowing that I could choose to walk out any time helped me make it through the last couple months. Yes, it's better to stay to Jan 2 but at the end of the day, you can leave earlier if it gets that bad.

I don't know if that thought will help you, but it did help me!

[Anonymous]

I’d stay until January 3rd, just to be certain that I’m vested. Pretend you’re on Survivor and these challenges are made-up obstacles to being the Sole Survivor. Your boss isn’t really yelling at you; he’s playing mind games to get you to leave early.

I’d also start recording every interaction with him. Experiment with your phone at home and clear out a lot of strategy space in your phone. Getting him fired for an OEE violation will be a service to the whole office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I worked in an incrediblytoxic environment (all women) and it was making me unravel mentally and physically. I was a wreck. I decided to leave but bascially had to work 7 more weeks due to project obligations. Those 7 weeks felt like a year. THe environment was so tense, I was unravelling and not myself. I felt like I was in an alternate world and there were days and weeks where I didn't think I would make it to the end. But I did. And left without burning every birdge. Took me months to recover.

I even contemplated doing drugs to deal with this.

L theanine is a very good supplement for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I worked in an incrediblytoxic environment (all women) and it was making me unravel mentally and physically. I was a wreck. I decided to leave but bascially had to work 7 more weeks due to project obligations. Those 7 weeks felt like a year. THe environment was so tense, I was unravelling and not myself. I felt like I was in an alternate world and there were days and weeks where I didn't think I would make it to the end. But I did. And left without burning every birdge. Took me months to recover.

I even contemplated doing drugs to deal with this.

L theanine is a very good supplement for this.

Op here. I’ll check it out. Was hoping for something a bit stronger though lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I worked in an incrediblytoxic environment (all women) and it was making me unravel mentally and physically. I was a wreck. I decided to leave but bascially had to work 7 more weeks due to project obligations. Those 7 weeks felt like a year. THe environment was so tense, I was unravelling and not myself. I felt like I was in an alternate world and there were days and weeks where I didn't think I would make it to the end. But I did. And left without burning every birdge. Took me months to recover.

I even contemplated doing drugs to deal with this.

L theanine is a very good supplement for this.

Oh it didn’t work!

[Anonymous]

You need to record him yelling. Attach the audio of it to your resignation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re 6 weeks from your goal, you can handle it.

Do you work in person? If yes, after lunch the day before the holiday lunch, make a big show of holding your mouth and racing to the bathroom. Flush a million times in case anyone comes in. Wait 5 minutes and splash water on your face but don’t wipe it. Return your desk slowly, clutching the wall and moaning. Tell your boss you don’t feel well and race out again and repeat the prior steps. Then on the second trip back to your desk and say you must leave. Get your crap and go home.

Send an email at 5am the day of the party. You’ve been sick since the prior afternoon. Can’t leave the toilet and won’t be in. The next day send an email at 7 that you won’t be in. You can now leave the throne but are completely wiped from the last 36 hours. Return to work the following day and claim to feel “ok”.

Then suck up the next few weeks till you can throw the double 🖕🏻on the way out the door on your last day.

This is the way. Whoever this is - we need to be friends. Love the ending with the double birds!