All Boys School For Gay Son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you or your son want to send him to a school that generally believes that his sexual orientation is a fast track to eternal damnation? I understand that there are some marginally more accepting leaders than before in the Church, but the orthodoxy still is intolerant.

I’m not Catholic so I can accept whatever criticism anyone wants to levy…but I’d like to think that if I subscribed to a religion that was in direct conflict with my kid’s identity, I’d throw it overboard in support of my child.

Even if you are politically conservative or moderate, why not suggest that he go somewhere that he can be as open as chooses to be or not be. I’m not suggesting that he needs to decide today how “out” he is, but there’s no way to gauge how he will feel next year or three years from now. Sending him to Georgetown Prep feels to me like a prayer for repression.

Right. Stick with you’re not Catholic. There is a big difference between the official line of the worldwide church and what happens in local institutions. You would be surprised; read what people are posting.

Right, but you’re saying that not religious followers actually follow the liturgy of the religion. While certainly true, why would you want to send your kid to a school that is guided at an existential level by orthodoxy that rejects your child’s identity. It doesn’t mean that everyone at a Catholic school is anti-gay, but the people who are supportive are doing so DESPITE the teaching of the church, not BECAUSE of the teaching. It just seems nuts to me.

10000%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why the principal question--or at least just as important a question--is catholic versus not. Many posters have mentioned that STA is more accepting in this way. STA is part of the PECF, and the Episcopal Church has long been a loving, accepting, inclusive place. The Catholic Church is not. Hasn't been, isn't now. Not for homosexuals, not for reproductive rights, not for gender identity. That's not to say there might not be progressives within a Catholic community, but come on. Look to the doctrine of the church running the school and the affiliation of the school. That's where the directives and values come from.

Well maybe for those who don’t have the pedigree to be accepted or $50,000 to pay tuition would appreciate a less expensive and welcoming option.

If it is truly need based, FA exists. We also have fantastic public school options. Moving to a well rated district is exponentially better than subjecting your child to hate.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’d suggest STA over any of the schools you mentioned.

Absolutely not. STA community is very conservative. Lots of Trump families there. Absolutely do not send a kid that is gay there.

Plenty of gay men voted for Turnip. Your point is?

Sure I bet! We are not talking about that. We are talking about boys schools and particularly STA and the Trump supporting families I know at STA would not support or welcome a gay boy socially. It would be isolating.

Cool story. There are definitely gay grads of STA. Last I checked, the ones I know had a good time and valued their education.

The ones that did okay came out after being at the school for years. They were already friends with the boys.

Coming to the school as a new student being openly gay nope.

More projections, eh?

I'll repeat what I said earlier. Only OP and his son will know. Visit the schools and let instinct guide them. The fit will involve a lot more than just sexuality. The last thing OP should do is to listen to a bunch of "allies" with their cliché views and prejudices.

There is no glossing over what the church fundamentally stands for and teaches, whether you like it or not. You can't no true scotsman your way out of it. OP, your child's mental health is at stake. The chance of damage isn't low, but would even the lowest chance be worth it?

So you keep saying. Please don't send your gay son to Gonzaga. Others may appreciate hearing from those of us who have experience at Gonzaga.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’d suggest STA over any of the schools you mentioned.

Absolutely not. STA community is very conservative. Lots of Trump families there. Absolutely do not send a kid that is gay there.

Plenty of gay men voted for Turnip. Your point is?

Sure I bet! We are not talking about that. We are talking about boys schools and particularly STA and the Trump supporting families I know at STA would not support or welcome a gay boy socially. It would be isolating.

Cool story. There are definitely gay grads of STA. Last I checked, the ones I know had a good time and valued their education.

The ones that did okay came out after being at the school for years. They were already friends with the boys.

Coming to the school as a new student being openly gay nope.

More projections, eh?

I'll repeat what I said earlier. Only OP and his son will know. Visit the schools and let instinct guide them. The fit will involve a lot more than just sexuality. The last thing OP should do is to listen to a bunch of "allies" with their cliché views and prejudices.

There is no glossing over what the church fundamentally stands for and teaches, whether you like it or not. You can't no true scotsman your way out of it. OP, your child's mental health is at stake. The chance of damage isn't low, but would even the lowest chance be worth it?

So you keep saying. Please don't send your gay son to Gonzaga. Others may appreciate hearing from those of us who have experience at Gonzaga.

So your sons were there during the vandalism at the retreat, the destruction of property at CU and the defecating in the stands. I mean come on guy!

[Anonymous]

Bored and amused gay man chiming in for the last time. Get impression it's the same 1, maybe 2, anti Catholic poster over and over again. I could just as easily mock the Episcopalian church and call them a bunch of pseudo pagan weirdos worshipping BLM and rainbow flags as the new icons and saints while ignoring 99.99% of the Bible, but different strokes for different people, eh? Yep, deliberately divisive to make someone angry but perhaps that teaches you something about cliches and stereotypes and the bigotry hidden behind well-intended dvice, hopefully.

OP, just visit the schools. Perfectly fair to tell admissions that child likes school and is also gay and see reaction. All the schools mentioned on here are run by intelligent adults. None are fundamentalists (I'd argue GDS is much more fundamentalist in its own way than any of the big Catholic schools).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you or your son want to send him to a school that generally believes that his sexual orientation is a fast track to eternal damnation? I understand that there are some marginally more accepting leaders than before in the Church, but the orthodoxy still is intolerant.

I’m not Catholic so I can accept whatever criticism anyone wants to levy…but I’d like to think that if I subscribed to a religion that was in direct conflict with my kid’s identity, I’d throw it overboard in support of my child.

Even if you are politically conservative or moderate, why not suggest that he go somewhere that he can be as open as chooses to be or not be. I’m not suggesting that he needs to decide today how “out” he is, but there’s no way to gauge how he will feel next year or three years from now. Sending him to Georgetown Prep feels to me like a prayer for repression.

Right. Stick with you’re not Catholic. There is a big difference between the official line of the worldwide church and what happens in local institutions. You would be surprised; read what people are posting.

Right, but you’re saying that not religious followers actually follow the liturgy of the religion. While certainly true, why would you want to send your kid to a school that is guided at an existential level by orthodoxy that rejects your child’s identity. It doesn’t mean that everyone at a Catholic school is anti-gay, but the people who are supportive are doing so DESPITE the teaching of the church, not BECAUSE of the teaching. It just seems nuts to me.

10000%

I had a similar post that got deleted, so I hope this one stays.

[Anonymous]

Would anyone send a pro life, pro traditional family, pro America son to GDS? Of course not, poor kid would be miserable. Probably have no friends. And that’s totally fine. Different schools for different beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t. Why in the world would you even consider this?!!! Stick with Maret, GDS, Sidwell, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bored and amused gay man chiming in for the last time. Get impression it's the same 1, maybe 2, anti Catholic poster over and over again. I could just as easily mock the Episcopalian church and call them a bunch of pseudo pagan weirdos worshipping BLM and rainbow flags as the new icons and saints while ignoring 99.99% of the Bible, but different strokes for different people, eh? Yep, deliberately divisive to make someone angry but perhaps that teaches you something about cliches and stereotypes and the bigotry hidden behind well-intended dvice, hopefully.

OP, just visit the schools. Perfectly fair to tell admissions that child likes school and is also gay and see reaction. All the schools mentioned on here are run by intelligent adults. None are fundamentalists (I'd argue GDS is much more fundamentalist in its own way than any of the big Catholic schools).

Most insightful response here OP. Take heed.

[Anonymous]

My son is applying to Gonzaga and we know about 20 current students and most of their families. From what I have seen when visiting the school and what I have heard from current families, it appears to be a very welcoming place. My son is not gay and to my knowledge neither are the boys we know, but there are multiple signs at the school about being an ally. When we visited last year, I also recall that there was a quote from the pope on the bulletin board about acceptance of those who are gay. So, it seems they’re at least making an effort in this regard.

OP, I’m not sure if you’ve met the director of admissions. But, he seems to be a kind, thoughtful person who is very knowledgeable about the school. If your son thinks GZ is the school for him, I would contact him and have an honest conversation.

[Anonymous]

This is a classic “when someone says something about themselves, believe them” thread. There are absolutely pro-LGBTQ+ folks who identify as Catholics, but they’re doing it knowing that their religion doesn’t mirror their own opinion on that specific matter. Despite occasional niceties from the Pope and the vague “love the sinner, hate the sin” language used to whitewash the actual position in today’s more tolerant world, the reality is that the Catholic Church believes that gay people are sinners. No one can argue with that.

I am sure that there are a few Orthodox Jews who don’t properly observe the sabbath, Muslims who don’t pray 5X day and Mormons who drink alcohol.

But, if you love to drink, why would you choose BYU?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is applying to Gonzaga and we know about 20 current students and most of their families. From what I have seen when visiting the school and what I have heard from current families, it appears to be a very welcoming place. My son is not gay and to my knowledge neither are the boys we know, but there are multiple signs at the school about being an ally. When we visited last year, I also recall that there was a quote from the pope on the bulletin board about acceptance of those who are gay. So, it seems they’re at least making an effort in this regard.

OP, I’m not sure if you’ve met the director of admissions. But, he seems to be a kind, thoughtful person who is very knowledgeable about the school. If your son thinks GZ is the school for him, I would contact him and have an honest conversation.

a poster here or there means nothing. How are the boys there with gay boys in their social circle? Do the gay boys feel welcome? Can they be themselves? Do they have a good social group? You don't know any gay boys there so you can't really say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is applying to Gonzaga and we know about 20 current students and most of their families. From what I have seen when visiting the school and what I have heard from current families, it appears to be a very welcoming place. My son is not gay and to my knowledge neither are the boys we know, but there are multiple signs at the school about being an ally. When we visited last year, I also recall that there was a quote from the pope on the bulletin board about acceptance of those who are gay. So, it seems they’re at least making an effort in this regard.

OP, I’m not sure if you’ve met the director of admissions. But, he seems to be a kind, thoughtful person who is very knowledgeable about the school. If your son thinks GZ is the school for him, I would contact him and have an honest conversation.

a poster here or there means nothing. How are the boys there with gay boys in their social circle? Do the gay boys feel welcome? Can they be themselves? Do they have a good social group? You don't know any gay boys there so you can't really say.

Several pps with recent and or current experience have addressed this. Multiple times. It’s fine if you don’t want to have your gay son at Gonzaga. Others are sharing their first hand experience that you continue to ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are definitely gay boys at Gonzaga. There are also openly gay, married teachers (my son has 2 this year). Pride flags in many classrooms. Would I send my son to Gonzaga if he was out in 8th grade? Probably not. We would go public or GDS or something. However, Gonzaga is pretty liberal. I think non-Catholics would be surprised how accepting Jesuits schools can be.

pps lumping Gonzaga in as a generic "catholic" unwelcoming culture do not know Gonzaga. I have a recent grad and current boy at Gonzaga. Besides openly gay teachers, men and women, some married, there are staff children who are gay and many other gay boys and clubs, etc.

Have any of these folks been allowed to celebrate their marriage at St. Al’s? Accepting is one thing. And it certainly is important. But being a full member of the community is another. That’s the point.

if you say so

The Catholic Church says so.

It says there is a difference between the sacrament of marriage and a civil marriage too. You don't have to agree with how the Church defines its own sacraments, including Holy Orders, which excludes women, and Holy Communion which excludes people in a state of sin and those who don't believe in it, or those who have not been prepared for First Communion. Lots of people cannot receive these sacraments because they are narrow, specific things. But they are full members of the community, unless you believe no one is a full member of the community because no one can have all of the sacraments. Does it suck? Many think so, many don't. Should they maybe change it? Some Catholics think yes, and some think no. Do people study, argue and debate these issues, even in high school religion class? Yes, absolutely all the time. Is that a reason not to choose a high school? That too is up to you.

[jsteele]

I assume that this thread had a topic at one time but few of you posting seem to have known what it was.