Dating a sweet kind loser

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church?
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it.

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation.

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society.

She does indeed sound like a loser. By her own admission this man is sweet, compassionate and accomplished. Yet, he is a loser in her mind because he is not wealthy. That makes her a loser.

I am also willing to bet he actually has a fair amount of wealth — home equity, retirement savings, maybe a pension. That frugality including a roommate sounds financially strategic, not desperate to make a mortgage payment (he might also have been lonely at one point, or helped someone out who needed a place to live). He just doesn’t lavish spending. Sounds like she might leave him and then some day he dies with $20 million he leaves to the university scholarship fund or something.

Correct, for whatever reasons, he doesn’t want to enjoy whatever money he has or he lets his date pay for everything. Which gets insulting after a short while.

Maybe he’s a hippie and needs to only date overeducated unambituous hippies.

Exactly - he has the money but prefers to enjoy outings at OP’s expense. Not even contributing equally into things they would both enjoy.
I was dating someone like that and it didn’t last

HAHAHA DCUM bicchhhes just making shit up as they go along. Nowhere did she say he has wealth he doesn't want to spend. THat's just conjuncture in your head. JFC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.

Women. The same story everywhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church?
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it.

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation.

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society.

She does indeed sound like a loser. By her own admission this man is sweet, compassionate and accomplished. Yet, he is a loser in her mind because he is not wealthy. That makes her a loser.

Stop getting hung up on semantics.

He is a 50 yo simpleton with limited life experiences and ambitions.
I wouldn’t bother continuing to date him long enough to find out Why.

CAre to support that statement? The man has a PhD. Where and why did you conclude that he is a simpleton with limited life experience and ambitions? PhD sounds pretty ambitious to me, for one.

Lol

[Anonymous]

I’d rather date a top 50 college drop out who’s hustling a start-up than a whatever tier PhD grad.

Stop pretending to not know the reputation of >90% of Phd grads in America.

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t make you happy. That’s all that matters. He doesn’t need saving. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather date a top 50 college drop out who’s hustling a start-up than a whatever tier PhD grad.

Stop pretending to not know the reputation of >90% of Phd grads in America.

Who is stopping you????? No one said he has to be your cup of tea. But he most certainly isn't a loser.

[Anonymous]

No one here knows if he’s a loser or not.

We don’t know anything about him except:
Male
50 yo
Single
Phd in something
Owns a house somewhere
Works at home or at a place
Has a housemate
Is kind & sweet; Commiserates with the downtrodden
Likes to stay in for dates
Likes to split bills or have women pay them

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]He doesn’t make you happy. That’s all that matters. He doesn’t need saving. Move on. [/quote]

+1. Don’t worry about it.

We’ve all broken it off with someone nice but no chemistry or common pace of life or goals. That’s fine. That’s what dating is about.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He doesn’t make you happy. That’s all that matters. He doesn’t need saving. Move on. [/quote]

+1. Don’t worry about it.

We’ve all broken it off with someone nice but no chemistry or common pace of life or goals. That’s fine. That’s what dating is about. [/quote]

It's not that she wants to break it off with him which of course is fine. It's that she called him a loser for apparently no reason. It's fine to not have chemistry with someone but that doesn't make them a loser.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He doesn’t make you happy. That’s all that matters. He doesn’t need saving. Move on. [/quote]

+1. Don’t worry about it.

We’ve all broken it off with someone nice but no chemistry or common pace of life or goals. That’s fine. That’s what dating is about. [/quote]

It's not that she wants to break it off with him which of course is fine. It's that she called him a loser for apparently no reason. It's fine to not have chemistry with someone but that doesn't make them a loser. [/quote]

That’s your personal semantics issue.

Some people consider him a loser and some do not. BFD.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He doesn’t make you happy. That’s all that matters. He doesn’t need saving. Move on. [/quote]

+1. Don’t worry about it.

We’ve all broken it off with someone nice but no chemistry or common pace of life or goals. That’s fine. That’s what dating is about. [/quote]

It's not that she wants to break it off with him which of course is fine. It's that she called him a loser for apparently no reason. It's fine to not have chemistry with someone but that doesn't make them a loser. [/quote]

That’s your personal semantics issue.

Some people consider him a loser and some do not. BFD.[/quote]
Aww poor op is butthurt ( see I used language you can understand). I'm sure you're face D. Trump will be single soon. I think Milania is done with him . So long as he stays out of prison you can have a man who hates losers as much as you and will keep you in a life of luxury

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He doesn’t make you happy. That’s all that matters. He doesn’t need saving. Move on. [/quote]

+1. Don’t worry about it.

We’ve all broken it off with someone nice but no chemistry or common pace of life or goals. That’s fine. That’s what dating is about. [/quote]
[b]
It's not that she wants to break it off with him which of course is fine. It's that she called him a loser for apparently no reason. It's fine to not have chemistry with someone but that doesn't make them a loser[/b]. [/quote]

Exactly. But DCUM is very shallow and unless you're spending money on your second home and traveling to Europe you're a loser

[Anonymous]

Some really cray cray single Phd DCUM posters here today workin’ hard!

[Anonymous]

PC police here to say there is no such thing as a “loser”.

It used to be a matter of personal preference, but now it’s canceled.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He doesn’t make you happy. That’s all that matters. He doesn’t need saving. Move on. [/quote]

+1. Don’t worry about it.

We’ve all broken it off with someone nice but no chemistry or common pace of life or goals. That’s fine. That’s what dating is about. [/quote]

It's not that she wants to break it off with him which of course is fine. It's that she called him a loser for apparently no reason. It's fine to not have chemistry with someone but that doesn't make them a loser. [/quote]

That’s your personal semantics issue.

Some people consider him a loser and some do not. BFD.[/quote]
Aww poor op is [b]butthurt[/b] ( see I used language you can understand). I'm sure you're face D. Trump will be single soon. I think Milania is done with him . So long as he stays out of prison you can have a man who hates losers as much as you and will keep you in a life of luxury [/quote]

Lol, ur talking about yourself again.