Dating a sweet kind loser

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church?
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it.

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation.

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society.

She does indeed sound like a loser. By her own admission this man is sweet, compassionate and accomplished. Yet, he is a loser in her mind because he is not wealthy. That makes her a loser.

I am also willing to bet he actually has a fair amount of wealth — home equity, retirement savings, maybe a pension. That frugality including a roommate sounds financially strategic, not desperate to make a mortgage payment (he might also have been lonely at one point, or helped someone out who needed a place to live). He just doesn’t lavish spending. Sounds like she might leave him and then some day he dies with $20 million he leaves to the university scholarship fund or something.

Sounds he’s just cheap and doesn’t want to invest in relationship with OP. If he’s that wealthy to have a house. It’s not all about splitting which OP is doing. It’s about equal spending habits. If OP is used to dine at Zaytinia paying on her own she won’t be happy with a guy who invites her to local burger place and then offers split the bill.

They need to split imho

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PC police here to say there is no such thing as a “loser”.

It used to be a matter of personal preference, but now it’s canceled.

Nope, I'm happy to call you a loser. Because you are. Can't do that to apparently a sweet, kind man that OP is dating simply because he doesn't make enough money to support her lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he has a house? in this economy? I'd date him in a heartbeat!!

Maybe his Mom and dad bought him the house since they they feared for his future without them.

Where else and what former living arrangements did he have?

Good point.

Who actually funded and bought the house and when?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he has a house? in this economy? I'd date him in a heartbeat!!

Maybe his Mom and dad bought him the house since they they feared for his future without them.

Where else and what former living arrangements did he have?

Good point.

Who actually funded and bought the house and when?

Even if they did, how would that make him a loser?

You are trying soooooo hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PC police here to say there is no such thing as a “loser”.

It used to be a matter of personal preference, but now it’s canceled.

Nope, I'm happy to call you a loser. Because you are. Can't do that to apparently a sweet, kind man that OP is dating simply because he doesn't make enough money to support her lifestyle.

So vested in your messaging PP, impressive. It’s like you actually know OPs date so well somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he has a house? in this economy? I'd date him in a heartbeat!!

Maybe his Mom and dad bought him the house since they they feared for his future without them.

Where else and what former living arrangements did he have?

Good point.

Who actually funded and bought the house and when?

Even if they did, how would that make him a loser?

You are trying soooooo hard.

Many elderly parents buy property for the Failure to Launch adult sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PC police here to say there is no such thing as a “loser”.

It used to be a matter of personal preference, but now it’s canceled.

Nope, I'm happy to call you a loser. Because you are. Can't do that to apparently a sweet, kind man that OP is dating simply because he doesn't make enough money to support her lifestyle.

So vested in your messaging PP, impressive. It’s like you actually know OPs date so well somehow.

About as well as you do, but I'm not the one calling him names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he has a house? in this economy? I'd date him in a heartbeat!!

Maybe his Mom and dad bought him the house since they they feared for his future without them.

Where else and what former living arrangements did he have?

Good point.

Who actually funded and bought the house and when?

Even if they did, how would that make him a loser?

You are trying soooooo hard.

Many elderly parents buy property for the Failure to Launch adult sons.

Ohhhhh I get it now. It's failure to launch if it's just a humble house, but if they leave you millions it's "old money" and you're super successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church?
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it.

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation.

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society.

She does indeed sound like a loser. By her own admission this man is sweet, compassionate and accomplished. Yet, he is a loser in her mind because he is not wealthy. That makes her a loser.

Lol. Why are posters making up that’s he’s compassionate or accomplished? The original poster never said anything of the sort.
The original post is about a nice guy who has a pattern of never wanting to go out anywhere and never pays for a date. That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church?
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it.

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation.

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society.

She does indeed sound like a loser. By her own admission this man is sweet, compassionate and accomplished. Yet, he is a loser in her mind because he is not wealthy. That makes her a loser.

Lol. Why are posters making up that’s he’s compassionate or accomplished? The original poster never said anything of the sort.
The original post is about a nice guy who has a pattern of never wanting to go out anywhere and never pays for a date. That is all.

Might want to read her original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PC police here to say there is no such thing as a “loser”.

It used to be a matter of personal preference, but now it’s canceled.

Nope, I'm happy to call you a loser. Because you are. Can't do that to apparently a sweet, kind man that OP is dating simply because he doesn't make enough money to support her lifestyle.

So vested in your messaging PP, impressive. It’s like you actually know OPs date so well somehow.

It’s because Op and PP are the same troll. op and the hypothetical SO don’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church?
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it.

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation.

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society.

She does indeed sound like a loser. By her own admission this man is sweet, compassionate and accomplished. Yet, he is a loser in her mind because he is not wealthy. That makes her a loser.

Lol. Why are posters making up that’s he’s compassionate or accomplished? The original poster never said anything of the sort.
The original post is about a nice guy who has a pattern of never wanting to go out anywhere and never pays for a date. That is all.

He "is very sympathetic with the downtrodden." -- OP, in the initial post on page one. But she rushed so fast to get to the fact he's not money-driven enough for her, that she didn't give us details. Not that we really need them. They are not right for each other at all and she needs to move on so he can find someone who isn't focused on his income.

Oh, and while you're calling out people for extrapolating that he's probably compassionate -- are you also going to call out all the projection and assumptions about how must have money since, gasp, he has a house? That's all conjecture but I don't see you calling that out too....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church?
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it.

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation.

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society.

She does indeed sound like a loser. By her own admission this man is sweet, compassionate and accomplished. Yet, he is a loser in her mind because he is not wealthy. That makes her a loser.

Lol. Why are posters making up that’s he’s compassionate or accomplished? The original poster never said anything of the sort.
The original post is about a nice guy who has a pattern of never wanting to go out anywhere and never pays for a date. That is all.

He "is very sympathetic with the downtrodden." -- OP, in the initial post on page one. But she rushed so fast to get to the fact he's not money-driven enough for her, that she didn't give us details. Not that we really need them. They are not right for each other at all and she needs to move on so he can find someone who isn't focused on his income.

Oh, and while you're calling out people for extrapolating that he's probably compassionate -- are you also going to call out all the projection and assumptions about how must have money since, gasp, he has a house? That's all conjecture but I don't see you calling that out too....

Sorry…. Sympathetic with the downtrodden…not compassionate. My bad!

[Anonymous]

Exactly. And who said it was a humble house?

Hilarious thread. It’s probably 75% one person posting and attacking OPs subject line wording.

[Anonymous]

Op and this thread is both sick and fascinating. I posted one thing and responded one time and it took off with a mind of its own like DCUM kudzu.

So many (wrong) assumptions and accusations! So much vitriol! It’s like watching bacteria breed in a cesspool.