Being summoned back to the office four days a week and anxious/sick over it

[Anonymous]

Suck it up Buttercup!

[Anonymous]

Whether this is good for your office or not, your reaction is overboard, OP.

The thought of leaving your house should not leave you waking up in a panic multiple times a week.

[Anonymous]

I went back in work in person 5 days a week in Prior job remote three years.

My new job I started same time as another person who is hybrid. Only 3 days in office. Which means 40 percent of time his chair is empty. His learning curve is so slow. People don’t go to him for much as why bother the chair is empty most days. He also knows less people. He asks me who does what a lot.

Recently he asked about promotion. Was told since all people are not hybrid he will have to come to work five days a week. It was like he was hit with a cold pail of water.

His problem, or my problem or her problem whatever case is. I stopped doing any zoom or on line meetings or even outlook meetings with remote people. I only meet in person. The more people do that the harder it gets to do remote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went back in work in person 5 days a week in Prior job remote three years.

My new job I started same time as another person who is hybrid. Only 3 days in office. Which means 40 percent of time his chair is empty. His learning curve is so slow. People don’t go to him for much as why bother the chair is empty most days. He also knows less people. He asks me who does what a lot.

Recently he asked about promotion. Was told since all people are not hybrid he will have to come to work five days a week. It was like he was hit with a cold pail of water.

His problem, or my problem or her problem whatever case is. I stopped doing any zoom or on line meetings or even outlook meetings with remote people. I only meet in person. The more people do that the harder it gets to do remote.

So if you had a disabled colleague who worked from home most of the time because that is how she best was able to manage her disability, you'd freeze her out? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since COVID, I have worked from home and it's been wonderful. I'm super productive - and also cozy at home. I am a huge introvert and I savor not having to "face" the world. And, a lot of my work is independent anyway. I wear my soft pants, I light a candle next to my desk, I can dash out to pick up my kids, I have soup simmering ... and I get a TON DONE.

We go back in person next week and I feel legit sick to my stomach. I wake up at 4am sweaty and panicked. The commute sucks. The rows of cubicles blow. The entire vibe is just...not home. I hate it and it's making me feel ill. Like the work but hate office culture. I don't know what to do.

The bolded, plus laundry, a quick trip to grocery store, etc, are exactly why so many companies are requiring RTO.

Why should employees want to give that much of their time to employers? The pandemic allowed people to see just how much of their lives were being sucked away by our gross, workaholic, capitalist system. A system that is designed to get the maximum amount of labor out of them while paying them the least amount they can possibly pay them for it. Why should the employees do more for these companies? They don't deserve all your time. None of us should have to give up such a large majority of our time working and commuting. Capitalism is a trap and most of you have Stockholm Syndrome. I'm not advocating for communism or socialism, but something has to give. The way we do it here in America is broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s about time you had to go back to work and actually EARN your money.

It's about time you learned to read. She said she's productive.

She thinks she is productive. Her boss thinks otherwise. And as others have pointed out, if workers were actually as productive as they think they are, managers wouldn't want to mess with success.

I'm sorry that the following is going to be brusque. But OP, maybe it will be helpful to understand what your manager is thinking about you.

I get that you can do your errands and childcare in the day and (some of) your real job at night. Guess what that means for everyone else you work with? They're pulling the slack in the daytime hours, and getting hit with a barrage of nighttime messages from you when we start the next day.

I'm a manager who returned to the office in August 2020. It's been twice as much work for me to manage projects being implemented by WFH employees. How many times have I had to wait for someone to get back from walking the darn dog, so they can look at the spreadsheet I'm calling about while on deadline? And, the old office culture of trust and open communications (based on relationships built on lots of face-to-face time) is really strained.

Is this really what we've come to? It's so pathetic. After 3 years of being patient and sensitive to the feelings of super-fragile, anxiety- ridden Gen Z and Millenials, I just want to get the job done.

OP, get to the office or please do everyone a favor and quit. It'll be cheaper that way.

And if you have any ambition at all, please know that, in conversations at my company, senior managers have gotten into a pattern of disqualifying all the WFH staff from promotions. You just don't know enough to be of any use. But no worries. Gen X will run the show for another 15-20 years while you grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

+1 so true
Instead of being grateful for the time working at home, people are feeling punished returning to the status quo pre-covid. Nothing lasts forever.

not so.
we used to need to use payphones on the street to call ppl when we were out. We don't now bc we have cells. We used to need to cross atlantic by ship but now we have planes. Should we start using payphones again and sailing to france bc we are just 'going back to normal'? progress happens and gives us the gift of time and convenience. Trying to turn the clock back just causes resentment and people like op will find better jobs that understand that and the ones who are stuck in the past will lose good employees and only be able to hire the desperate and second rate (or extroverts!)

That's silly. Why should kids then return to school? Why not have all of them continue to do virtual learning?

because we are adults and we CAN work remotely - because we are adults?

there are many adults who take advantage of wfh, and work second jobs, or are hard to reach. So, no, not all adults can work remotely.

And third jobs, drinking, gambling, smoking, napping, watching Netflix, watching phub, making dinner, going to gym, golfing etc

I agree wfh can be more productive. But in reality the time saved for most does not go into more work.

My block in Ward 3 is a case in point. The professionals who survive by “eating only what they kill” — software sales and law firm lawyers and one consultant— WFH as hard as they ever did. OTOH the federal manager works maaaybe 25 hrs a week. If that. She gets her GS13 salary regardless of how many times a day she jogs, picks up the kids, walks the dog, walks to the market, sits on the porch talking to mom, prepping dinner at 4 pm, jogging again ….

Same for the salaried newspaper reporters, nonorofit lawyer and association lawyer. and the software guy. Constantly outside, playing with dogs, playing with kids, playing with their $5000 bike. At soccer, at swimming. There’s no way in hell they are working full time for their full time salaries. And no, they’re not logging on late st night because I walk my own dog at 10 and their homes are completely dark

Some employers are getting the shaft, even the elite ones who presumably hire the elite professionals

Wow, you're quite "busy" aren't you, watching your neighbors at all hours, taking down their hours, looking into their windows, noting their possessions and what they cost. Clearly you are not employed. Maybe you should be because you have so much time on your hands and if you were gainfully employed you wouldn't be stalking your neighbors. Yikes.

Having eyeballs isn’t synonymous with stalking. Also we’ve been at this for years now — which is why OP is panicking about her loss of soup-on-demand. Only the oblivious wouldn’t notice what their direct neighbors are doing for *years*

I’m gainfully employed as a healthcare hero 🙄. People used to buy us pizzas in mid-2020 because we were frontline workers. Now they sit at home making soup and sniffing candles and blame us when they can’t get an appointment for another 2 months.

Makes sense. You’re definitely more like an hourly worker and being paid for the time you’re on the clock. So you’re unable to understand that most white collar jobs aren’t like this. You can’t understand that really I’m being paid to do a certain number of things every week. That if I go sit in an office the rest of the time it won’t increase my productivity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s about time you had to go back to work and actually EARN your money.

It's about time you learned to read. She said she's productive.

She thinks she is productive. Her boss thinks otherwise. And as others have pointed out, if workers were actually as productive as they think they are, managers wouldn't want to mess with success.

I'm sorry that the following is going to be brusque. But OP, maybe it will be helpful to understand what your manager is thinking about you.

I get that you can do your errands and childcare in the day and (some of) your real job at night. Guess what that means for everyone else you work with? They're pulling the slack in the daytime hours, and getting hit with a barrage of nighttime messages from you when we start the next day.

I'm a manager who returned to the office in August 2020. It's been twice as much work for me to manage projects being implemented by WFH employees. How many times have I had to wait for someone to get back from walking the darn dog, so they can look at the spreadsheet I'm calling about while on deadline? And, the old office culture of trust and open communications (based on relationships built on lots of face-to-face time) is really strained.

Is this really what we've come to? It's so pathetic. After 3 years of being patient and sensitive to the feelings of super-fragile, anxiety- ridden Gen Z and Millenials, I just want to get the job done.

OP, get to the office or please do everyone a favor and quit. It'll be cheaper that way.

And if you have any ambition at all, please know that, in conversations at my company, senior managers have gotten into a pattern of disqualifying all the WFH staff from promotions. You just don't know enough to be of any use. But no worries. Gen X will run the show for another 15-20 years while you grow up.

Really? You think RTO is truly driven by productivity and nothing else?

[Anonymous]

Wow, you people are mean. Cozy pants, candles, soup, and picking up kids at actual pick-up time sound amazing.

- Teacher who goes in every day

[Anonymous]

We spent 3 hours yesterday afternoon trying to finish a repoort that usually takes minutes. Trading messages and waiting on replies that would have been easy conversation had we all been together. Someone had connectivity issues and couldn’t access it remotely. Another person was AWOL (I know she’s home without childcare for her multiple kids and I have to guess they command attention at that time of day) and held everything up until she got on and added her part. Luckily we’re all in the office most days and that’s when we’re most productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went back in work in person 5 days a week in Prior job remote three years.

My new job I started same time as another person who is hybrid. Only 3 days in office. Which means 40 percent of time his chair is empty. His learning curve is so slow. People don’t go to him for much as why bother the chair is empty most days. He also knows less people. He asks me who does what a lot.

Recently he asked about promotion. Was told since all people are not hybrid he will have to come to work five days a week. It was like he was hit with a cold pail of water.

His problem, or my problem or her problem whatever case is. I stopped doing any zoom or on line meetings or even outlook meetings with remote people. I only meet in person. The more people do that the harder it gets to do remote.

This is hilarious. Why do you assume people want to meet with you so badly? Also in most offices one person can’t just unilaterally decide they won’t meet over zoom. Don’t you have colleagues at other locations or do you work for some kind of local small business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

+1 so true
Instead of being grateful for the time working at home, people are feeling punished returning to the status quo pre-covid. Nothing lasts forever.

not so.
we used to need to use payphones on the street to call ppl when we were out. We don't now bc we have cells. We used to need to cross atlantic by ship but now we have planes. Should we start using payphones again and sailing to france bc we are just 'going back to normal'? progress happens and gives us the gift of time and convenience. Trying to turn the clock back just causes resentment and people like op will find better jobs that understand that and the ones who are stuck in the past will lose good employees and only be able to hire the desperate and second rate (or extroverts!)

That's silly. Why should kids then return to school? Why not have all of them continue to do virtual learning?

because we are adults and we CAN work remotely - because we are adults?

there are many adults who take advantage of wfh, and work second jobs, or are hard to reach. So, no, not all adults can work remotely.

And third jobs, drinking, gambling, smoking, napping, watching Netflix, watching phub, making dinner, going to gym, golfing etc

I agree wfh can be more productive. But in reality the time saved for most does not go into more work.

My block in Ward 3 is a case in point. The professionals who survive by “eating only what they kill” — software sales and law firm lawyers and one consultant— WFH as hard as they ever did. OTOH the federal manager works maaaybe 25 hrs a week. If that. She gets her GS13 salary regardless of how many times a day she jogs, picks up the kids, walks the dog, walks to the market, sits on the porch talking to mom, prepping dinner at 4 pm, jogging again ….

Same for the salaried newspaper reporters, nonorofit lawyer and association lawyer. and the software guy. Constantly outside, playing with dogs, playing with kids, playing with their $5000 bike. At soccer, at swimming. There’s no way in hell they are working full time for their full time salaries. And no, they’re not logging on late st night because I walk my own dog at 10 and their homes are completely dark

Some employers are getting the shaft, even the elite ones who presumably hire the elite professionals

It really weird that you are monitoring a stranger’s work hours. And weirder that you’re measuring work hours instead of productivity. Workers have a set of tasks and projects. So long as they get done, what does it matter to you if they are done in 25 hours or 45? Or that someone jogs in the middle of the day? A break in the day actually improves productivity. So does naps.

But it is SUPER creepy that you monitor others like this. Maybe see a therapist to address this character defect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suck it up Buttercup!

^^^^ THIS
What did you do before covid? Good grief you need therapy. What's the big freaking deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you people are mean. Cozy pants, candles, soup, and picking up kids at actual pick-up time sound amazing.

- Teacher who goes in every day

It also DOES NOT sound like a job or a professional getting paid to do something besides lounge.

- A goal driven individual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

Employers absolutely are taking something from us with RTO.
They did not want to lose any valuable labor time during covid so they fed everyone lines that if you got sick you could take "covid leave" blah blah but they found ways to get everyone connected and working from home pretty seamlessly.

Then when employees showed that they could do it, excel, be more productive and in some cases work even more hours (even when recovering from illnesses! or quarantining) they are not happy with that proof and want their way again.

Put yourself in the shoes of your evil employer for just a moment, they have decided to bring their staff back to the office more days. Why? Do they think people are excelling and working more hours from home and they are trying to reduce productivity? Unlikely. Are they trying to torture you and cause panic attacks? Also unlikely. I think that most employers are sick of trying to reach their staff while they’re busy making soup or out picking up their kids and they need to bring them to an office to verify they do their jobs, plus the in person camaraderie is good for the team. Why else do you think so many are doing this?

Long-term leases.