Being summoned back to the office four days a week and anxious/sick over it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said that you get a ton done at home. Are you more productive at home than you were when you were in the office before Covid? If so can you prove that? My husband put together a document that clearly showed that his team increased their productivity by 40% when they started working from home. He presented that to the owner and they all agreed that the team would continue to work remotely. They all come in to the office once a month for a team meeting.

If you can show that you are more valuable to your management when you work at home then you might be able to convince them to allow you to work from home more often. Focus on how it helps the company, not how it helps you.

This sounds like a small business if you could meet with the owner directly. I work for a Fortune 500 company headquartered in another city. Our mandatory RTO was decided by our leadership far away and we’ve been told we can come back to the office or quit/ get laid off. It is not a negotiation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you be a SAHM?

this is the worst response. Most people cannot afford to live off only one income, and to quit just because they don't want to RTO.

I was in a position where I was going to have to RTO after wfh for 8 years. It sucked. I was not really looking forward to it, but I can adjust.

Her choices are:
1) RTO
2) Quit
2A) quit for a new paid job that allows for sweatpants, candles, soup making, child care taking, and coziness.
2B) quit to be a SAHM, which allows for all of the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quit and find a different job.

This but wrong order, find another job first.

We all used to go in 5x a week, I think it will become the new normal. My office moved during cv so will be much longer commute when we also RTO soon. I'm looking for something fully remote but will RTO in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

+1 so true
Instead of being grateful for the time working at home, people are feeling punished returning to the status quo pre-covid. Nothing lasts forever.

+ it's still good to have one WFH day. I never had that pre-cv. Also not excited to RTO and am looking. Better to have a job in a not great economy though and FAR easier to find one when you have one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

This. I’ve been back since March 2021. Healthcare. You can do it. I agree home is way better lol but gotta work.

[Anonymous]

At least you get a cubicle. My spouse doesn't even get an assigned desk. What sucks is he could work at home before covid, during covid, but now they are recalling everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you be a SAHM?

this is the worst response. Most people cannot afford to live off only one income, and to quit just because they don't want to RTO.

I was in a position where I was going to have to RTO after wfh for 8 years. It sucked. I was not really looking forward to it, but I can adjust.

Her choices are:
1) RTO
2) Quit
2A) quit for a new paid job that allows for sweatpants, candles, soup making, child care taking, and coziness.
2B) quit to be a SAHM, which allows for all of the above.

3). Start taking Zoloft and get some CBT for your obvious anxiety issues. It sucks to not have your soup and your candle, but it’s nothing that should make you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This response to the change seems over the top - panic attacks?!? I understand not wanting to RTO. Get another job. Adjust in the meantime.

Agreed.
If you give in every time you feel like this, OP, your world is going to become very small. There is a reason you have to specify panic attacks with or without agoraphobia in the DSM.

You have find a way to go back. Quit later if you don’t like the job, but don’t let panic attacks rule your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

Employers absolutely are taking something from us with RTO.
They did not want to lose any valuable labor time during covid so they fed everyone lines that if you got sick you could take "covid leave" blah blah but they found ways to get everyone connected and working from home pretty seamlessly.

Then when employees showed that they could do it, excel, be more productive and in some cases work even more hours (even when recovering from illnesses! or quarantining) they are not happy with that proof and want their way again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

Employers absolutely are taking something from us with RTO.
They did not want to lose any valuable labor time during covid so they fed everyone lines that if you got sick you could take "covid leave" blah blah but they found ways to get everyone connected and working from home pretty seamlessly.

Then when employees showed that they could do it, excel, be more productive and in some cases work even more hours (even when recovering from illnesses! or quarantining) they are not happy with that proof and want their way again.

I realize this might feel good for you to say, but does this make any sense to you at all? You get it it's way cheaper for all these employers to never have you come back, right? If everyone working from home was excelling and more productive and working more than ever before and it was all just way, way better than having people come in-person in every way, then they wouldn't be having anyone come back in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

Employers absolutely are taking something from us with RTO.
They did not want to lose any valuable labor time during covid so they fed everyone lines that if you got sick you could take "covid leave" blah blah but they found ways to get everyone connected and working from home pretty seamlessly.

Then when employees showed that they could do it, excel, be more productive and in some cases work even more hours (even when recovering from illnesses! or quarantining) they are not happy with that proof and want their way again.

Put yourself in the shoes of your evil employer for just a moment, they have decided to bring their staff back to the office more days. Why? Do they think people are excelling and working more hours from home and they are trying to reduce productivity? Unlikely. Are they trying to torture you and cause panic attacks? Also unlikely. I think that most employers are sick of trying to reach their staff while they’re busy making soup or out picking up their kids and they need to bring them to an office to verify they do their jobs, plus the in person camaraderie is good for the team. Why else do you think so many are doing this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can they do without you? If this is a deal-breaker and you are critical to your employer they may be flexible - depends on your company culture and manager.

I would see if you can negotiate down to once a week but also find a WFH job.

I’m in the opposite boat in that they just don’t have room for us but I keep showing up!

[Anonymous]

Just find a new job there are lots of place hiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

+1 so true
Instead of being grateful for the time working at home, people are feeling punished returning to the status quo pre-covid. Nothing lasts forever.

not so.
we used to need to use payphones on the street to call ppl when we were out. We don't now bc we have cells. We used to need to cross atlantic by ship but now we have planes. Should we start using payphones again and sailing to france bc we are just 'going back to normal'? progress happens and gives us the gift of time and convenience. Trying to turn the clock back just causes resentment and people like op will find better jobs that understand that and the ones who are stuck in the past will lose good employees and only be able to hire the desperate and second rate (or extroverts!)

That's silly. Why should kids then return to school? Why not have all of them continue to do virtual learning?

because we are adults and we CAN work remotely - because we are adults?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

Employers absolutely are taking something from us with RTO.
They did not want to lose any valuable labor time during covid so they fed everyone lines that if you got sick you could take "covid leave" blah blah but they found ways to get everyone connected and working from home pretty seamlessly.

Then when employees showed that they could do it, excel, be more productive and in some cases work even more hours (even when recovering from illnesses! or quarantining) they are not happy with that proof and want their way again.

Put yourself in the shoes of your evil employer for just a moment, they have decided to bring their staff back to the office more days. Why? Do they think people are excelling and working more hours from home and they are trying to reduce productivity? Unlikely. Are they trying to torture you and cause panic attacks? Also unlikely. I think that most employers are sick of trying to reach their staff while they’re busy making soup or out picking up their kids and they need to bring them to an office to verify they do their jobs, plus the in person camaraderie is good for the team. Why else do you think so many are doing this?

I am C level at an 8000 person company and I have no idea why employers do this. Our staff are just as productive wfh as they are in person. I literally cannot tell whether they are at home or not. I CAN tell if they are not working, bc we have many ways to measure productivity beyond just seeing people with our eyes like it is 1850.
I think if the problem is people slacking off or not being able to measure productivity, then those are the wrong employees and/ or you need better tools.