If you're anti-nanny but both you and your partner WOH, could you please explain why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids (and my sibling’s, which came later) have always been taken care of by their grandparents. They see a lot of kids with nannies at the park and playgrounds. Some are pretty damned good and attentive, but most are just plain awful. Your nanny could easily be one thing in front of you and another completely different once she’s out the door with your kid.

I’m not saying they’re abusive or anything. Just inattentive and indifferent and sometimes a little short.

At least in a good day care there are rules and regulations and constant supervision and other kids to keep yours engaged and stimulated.

This is true, which is why you need to specify what is appropriate and inappropriate up front in the contract. When our kids were very little we also had a list of places she could take them on outings - when they were very little it was the local park and country club. Because I’m very active in my community there were eyes everywhere. I have tons of SAHM friends, who would always tell me ‘I saw Nanny and Larla today at the XXX. Nanny is so sweet.’ OR “how did you find Nanny? She is the only one I never see on the phone”. I’m the PP who used a service. I also wrote a solid contract and asked her to sign an NDA. No, were not famous, but I don’t want my kids on social media sites until they consent.

Nice try. But no, a “contract” doesn’t solve the problem and having eyes and ears in town doesn’t either. Everybody everywhere has both, and still you see nannies at the parks and playgrounds every day on their phones, being snippy with the kids, chatting with other nannies in their common foreign language while havoc wreaks around them, etc. You may tell yourself your situation is different, but it isn’t.

Again, I’m not saying any of this is the worst thing in the world. It isn’t. But no single individual outside of your own family is going to love your kid the way you do - FACT. At least in day care the indifference is spread around so the risk is lower. Plus, again, there are other kids around and constant supervision by the bosses.

A contract and due diligence worked for me. Perhaps you should talk from a point of experience rather than judgement and envy.

Oh, and "nice try"?!?!?

Envy? hahahaha. You’re not gonna get any nanny on earth who holds a candle to my mother. Not even Mary Friggin Poppins!

You are so special to have your mother. I, like one of the other PPs, prefer to pay someone to do a job the way I want it done. My mom was not energetic enough, she gave the kids too many treats and more screen time than I would have liked. Our nanny followed our schedule and prepared foods from a list we worked on together. She was with us for 8 years. Yeah, she was like Mary Poppins... wonderful people do exist that do well in their jobs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

That’s because, besides DC, there is a lack of really amazing childcare in the country. But, for example, Smithsonian Preschool is in DC. Why *wouldn’t* you offer your kids that opportunity if it’s available to you?

Disagree. I know many wealthy people and no one sends their kids to daycare in other large US cities. In fact many families have 1 nanny per child!

This!

It's like PP said - anyone can can afford it will buy the best in childcare and education, so nanny and private school. Everyone else is stuck justifying their decision to go second-rate, i.e., put their pocketbook in front of the chd if they can afford it OR they have a tough time admitting thay they can't afford the best. There are a lot of second rate nannies out there, which is why I phrase it this way - if you skimp on costs, including finder's fee, you get second best or maybe you get lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

That’s because, besides DC, there is a lack of really amazing childcare in the country. But, for example, Smithsonian Preschool is in DC. Why *wouldn’t* you offer your kids that opportunity if it’s available to you?

Disagree. I know many wealthy people and no one sends their kids to daycare in other large US cities. In fact many families have 1 nanny per child!

This!

It's like PP said - anyone can can afford it will buy the best in childcare and education, so nanny and private school. Everyone else is stuck justifying their decision to go second-rate, i.e., put their pocketbook in front of the chd if they can afford it OR they have a tough time admitting thay they can't afford the best. There are a lot of second rate nannies out there, which is why I phrase it this way - if you skimp on costs, including finder's fee, you get second best or maybe you get lucky.

The bolded clause is correct. The one that follows isn’t. Not a lot of people turning down spots at TJ because of the superiority of private school. The Best is not always the most expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

That’s because, besides DC, there is a lack of really amazing childcare in the country. But, for example, Smithsonian Preschool is in DC. Why *wouldn’t* you offer your kids that opportunity if it’s available to you?

Disagree. I know many wealthy people and no one sends their kids to daycare in other large US cities. In fact many families have 1 nanny per child!

This!

It's like PP said - anyone can can afford it will buy the best in childcare and education, so nanny and private school. Everyone else is stuck justifying their decision to go second-rate, i.e., put their pocketbook in front of the chd if they can afford it OR they have a tough time admitting thay they can't afford the best. There are a lot of second rate nannies out there, which is why I phrase it this way - if you skimp on costs, including finder's fee, you get second best or maybe you get lucky.

You are really dim

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They can't afford a nanny and are jealous of those who can. It's the same with public school parents who oppose private school or think it's a waste of money. Why is this even a question? It's so obvious!

+1 It's the same people who pretend they look down on stay-at-home-parents but are secretly jealous. There are really very few situations where a nanny or SAHP is more of a hassle than daycare. For starters, daycare will block you at the door if your kid is even a little bit sick, which is really frequent for some kids. Imagine a nanny or parent who said, nope, not gonna care for this child today because he's sick. Get real. I can see where someone might prefer daycare over grandma, like if grandma is too old and easily tired. But in general a dedicated carer who only watches your kids is always the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

That’s because, besides DC, there is a lack of really amazing childcare in the country. But, for example, Smithsonian Preschool is in DC. Why *wouldn’t* you offer your kids that opportunity if it’s available to you?

Disagree. I know many wealthy people and no one sends their kids to daycare in other large US cities. In fact many families have 1 nanny per child!

This!

It's like PP said - anyone can can afford it will buy the best in childcare and education, so nanny and private school. Everyone else is stuck justifying their decision to go second-rate, i.e., put their pocketbook in front of the chd if they can afford it OR they have a tough time admitting thay they can't afford the best. There are a lot of second rate nannies out there, which is why I phrase it this way - if you skimp on costs, including finder's fee, you get second best or maybe you get lucky.

The bolded clause is correct. The one that follows isn’t. Not a lot of people turning down spots at TJ because of the superiority of private school. The Best is not always the most expensive.

... they would if the got in Big 3. There's also second rate privates that don't really compare to top selective publics.

[Anonymous]

Parenting is filled with these types of comments. People say they "don't do X" or "only use y" with no explanation. You can't bother yourself wondering why. They probably don't know themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

That’s because, besides DC, there is a lack of really amazing childcare in the country. But, for example, Smithsonian Preschool is in DC. Why *wouldn’t* you offer your kids that opportunity if it’s available to you?

Disagree. I know many wealthy people and no one sends their kids to daycare in other large US cities. In fact many families have 1 nanny per child!

This!

It's like PP said - anyone can can afford it will buy the best in childcare and education, so nanny and private school. Everyone else is stuck justifying their decision to go second-rate, i.e., put their pocketbook in front of the chd if they can afford it OR they have a tough time admitting thay they can't afford the best. There are a lot of second rate nannies out there, which is why I phrase it this way - if you skimp on costs, including finder's fee, you get second best or maybe you get lucky.

The bolded clause is correct. The one that follows isn’t. Not a lot of people turning down spots at TJ because of the superiority of private school. The Best is not always the most expensive.

... they would if the got in Big 3. There's also second rate privates that don't really compare to top selective publics.

Some, but not all. My cousins went Big 3 and didn’t get into TJ— my aunt and uncle would have sent them in a heartbeat. Best, in the DC area, doesn’t always mean the same for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, let’s be honest. None of you working mothers would be a nanny yourself. That’s why you’re working and hiring somebody else to do the mothering for you. So why would you expect women who become nannies to be the pick of the litter?

Because I pay top dollar and have high expectations, just like with my other employees. I think many women here sound like they lack the confidence in their own ability to lead, hire, and do due diligence, which is sad.

Haha people like you NEVER pay top dollar, even if they could. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

That’s because, besides DC, there is a lack of really amazing childcare in the country. But, for example, Smithsonian Preschool is in DC. Why *wouldn’t* you offer your kids that opportunity if it’s available to you?

The taxpayer dies not owe you childcare of any kind, shake. Or firm. You chose to have a child(ten,)and their childcare is on you..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

That’s because, besides DC, there is a lack of really amazing childcare in the country. But, for example, Smithsonian Preschool is in DC. Why *wouldn’t* you offer your kids that opportunity if it’s available to you?

The taxpayer dies not owe you childcare of any kind, shake. Or firm. You chose to have a child(ten,)and their childcare is on you..

Alas the taxpayer did owe you an elementary education and you still can’t frame a basic sentence. I’m sorry your country failed you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

This isn’t true if you’re using licensed and high quality daycare. Everyone at ours has a criminal background check on file.[/quote

You keep on deluding yourself.

My daughter worked at a daycare center last summer. Supposedly, everyone there had a criminal background check except that they didn't. Daycare pays minimum wage at best and they hire almost anyone who applies for a job.

My daughter quit when her boss hired a mini van driver whose licence had been suspended for DWI. .

[Anonymous]

Nannies have no oversight at work. Go to the playground in the middle of a workday and watch the nannies. Maybe 1 in 10 is actually good. The rest are just lazy people with few job options who love that they can make a decent wage by playing on their phone all day. All of my friends who use nannies have horror stories.
At least at a daycare your child is guaranteed to be safe, cared for, and get appropriate mental stimulation. Unlike some infants I know that were left in cribs awake for hours or propped in front of televisions.

-former SAHM who chose to put my child in daycare despite being able to afford a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

This isn’t true if you’re using licensed and high quality daycare. Everyone at ours has a criminal background check on file.[/quote

You keep on deluding yourself.

My daughter worked at a daycare center last summer. Supposedly, everyone there had a criminal background check except that they didn't. Daycare pays minimum wage at best and they hire almost anyone who applies for a job.

My daughter quit when her boss hired a mini van driver whose licence had been suspended for DWI. .

Your daughter worked for a criminal then. Obviously whatever nanny you paid to raise her didn’t impart particularly excellent judgement?

Most of these things— background checks, fingerprinting and certainly safety and licensing records are easily accessed. For some daycares that are also part of non-profits, the salary is public for some roles. This area has highly educated and litigious parents. Take your vendetta elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

Well at least the daycare workers won't be going into my medicine cabinet and stealing pills (we had a nanny do this), or stealing money from my house (friend's nanny).