If you're anti-nanny but both you and your partner WOH, could you please explain why?

[Anonymous]

Nannies are good, they give more individual attention but they get stuck inside when there's bad weather.

Family Daycare is very nice, it's ussually just 8 kids with 2 or 3 assistants and the Provider is a Teacher. Providers keeps taking classes of early child development every year to keep the license. It's nice to have a small group, kids gets attention and engages, interacts more socially.

Daycare Centers is ok. I don't like the ratios. 10 or 12 toddlers for 1 teacher and sometimes with 1 assistant. It's too many kids, running around, getting hit, biting, etc. That's my experience

Go with your gut. See which one is more logical and safe place.

[Anonymous]

They can't afford nanny. That's why they're jealous

[Anonymous]

We had three kids in a nice daycare- it cost about $7000 per month, so equivalent to the cost of a nanny.

We had a nanny for our first baby, but switched when DC 1 was almost 2 years and DC2 was coming.

First, we liked the idea of both kids being on schedules that fit their ages. Infants nap a lot, and DC1 was ready to go out and explore. That’s hard for a nanny to manage. That was the same issue when DC3 came along - by then DC1 had dropped their nap.

Second, by then I had severa of my friends tell me horror stories about their Nannies not treating their kids well - things like not feeding them if they didn’t like what was offered for lunch, leaving them for hours in their car seats to contain them, and smacking them. All of these were caught on camera. I realized I didn’t want a nanny until my kids were able to talk to me and tell me if there were issues with their caregiver.

Daycare isn’t perfect, either, but my kids loved the socialization and their language really developed.

We went back to getting a nanny when my kids went into elementary school. They want to do after school activities, and we want to support that. My kids would definitely report issues with the nanny (and do!) so my precious concerns about Nannies are now gone.

[Anonymous]

I never met nannies who would keep kids in carseats for hrs, but some parents think anyone can nanny as long as they come cheap, so maybe those parents had such horror stories about 'nannies" but they were not really nannies, just random people hired for cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They can't afford a nanny and are jealous of those who can. It's the same with public school parents who oppose private school or think it's a waste of money. Why is this even a question? It's so obvious!

This! And I am also a private school parent so this as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I could ask this exact same question of someone who chose a nanny. Like why would you trust some random person in your house over vetted and accountable group childcare? That sounds insane!!

Because the people working at a childcare facility aren’t vetted any more than someone you hire as a nanny. You have no idea who these people are working at a daycare. You may actually have a better idea of who a nanny is if you hire her through word of mouth.

If you have the means, you will likely end up with a decent nanny who take good care of your child.

It’s so much better for your child to be in his or her own home with 1:1 attention. The child is able to avoid more illnesses and no rush to get out of the house in the morning. Daycare is essentially warehousing your child for the day. Why would you want your kid in storage and not in his or her own home?

Besides DC, I have never lived anywhere else that a person who can afford a nanny would choose daycare. In most places, a nanny is a luxury item and for a reason.

That’s because, besides DC, there is a lack of really amazing childcare in the country. But, for example, Smithsonian Preschool is in DC. Why *wouldn’t* you offer your kids that opportunity if it’s available to you?

Disagree. I know many wealthy people and no one sends their kids to daycare in other large US cities. In fact many families have 1 nanny per child!

This. I'm a 24/5-7 live-in nanny, and I turn down at least one offer per month for families who have a nanny per child. It may work for others, but I'm not interested.

[Anonymous]

Hard for some moms to relinquish control and micromanage the nanny. Don’t have the means to pay market’s rate. Only folks that make decent $ can afford a nanny and private education.

[Anonymous]

I can afford a nanny (can comfortably send both kids to private, our 5 year old starts on Tuesday) but we don’t believe I nannys. I don’t trust any adult alone with my kids unsupervised. Our daycare was fantastic- excellent care, lesson plans, schedules, safety, communication etc. I felt that the safety and socialization offered was so much better, and I didn’t have to worry about a nanny getting sick last minute and blowing up my workday. We will hire a nanny when both kids are in private to help with drop off, pickup, and household management for the kids (kids errands, cooking etc) for the early years I’m a huge proponent of daycare.

[Anonymous]

I had trust issues too but was a lot less anxious about a nanny in my home caring for one baby than I was about several daycare providers caring for tons of babies. I work from home but if I didn’t, I would have put up cameras until I really go comfortable with hr (with the nanny’s knowledge of course). I’ve worked jobs where I had cameras on me so I don’t think that’s offensive.

There are safety issues aside from provider neglect/abuse. If there’s a fire, I don’t see how daycares can rescue all the kids quickly given the child to teacher ratios. And sadly, I worry about mass shootings even at a daycare. There was the daycare tragedy in Thailand recently- it could easily have happened here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They can't afford a nanny and are jealous of those who can. It's the same with public school parents who oppose private school or think it's a waste of money. Why is this even a question? It's so obvious!

This! And I am also a private school parent so this as well.

Look if you think private is best for your family great. I have zero issues with private.

As someone who spent a few years in private, I chose public for my kids. One huge part is that I think my kids really benefit from a neighborhood school. Many of their friends are within a few blocks of our house and can walk to school. This is great for impromptu after school play dates. Most rec sports teams are organized by school as well, so then they end up on teams with their school friends. It’s a great way to build community and get to know other parents.

This was something lacking when I was at a private that pulled from many different parts of the city I lived in. After school get togethers had to be pre-arranged in advance and meant someone was schlepping in rush hour to pick up a kid. It wasn’t that idyllic childhood of riding bikes after school and your parents knowing all the other parents.

I love that we live a few blocks from our local public and can easily walk over as a family for various school evening events (like our fall fest) and since I WAH I can pop over during the day to volunteer.

Private school can be a great option depending on a family’s circumstances, but is not my preference. Not everything is about jealousy but some people need to feel validated by this line of thinking.

[Anonymous]

A high quality daycare is at least as expensive as a nanny where I live. I felt safer with my child in a high quality, professionally run daycare with a well designed and age appropriate early childhood education program. Many federal agencies offer such care. Nannies are cheaper, easier to find and more convenient. There are no years long waiting lists.

[Anonymous]

PP, nannies cost about $55K a year, at min. Never heard of daycare at that cost. Unless you hire first person you meet at care.com?

[Anonymous]

I like daycares because I think it’s how babies should be raised- in community. Plus the daycare workers have each other so they may have more satisfaction with their work since they can socialize with each other. I can’t imagine the boredom of being alone with an infant all day as a nanny. Loved my home daycare- my baby thrived and we would not trade it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like daycares because I think it’s how babies should be raised- in community. Plus the daycare workers have each other so they may have more satisfaction with their work since they can socialize with each other. I can’t imagine the boredom of being alone with an infant all day as a nanny. Loved my home daycare- my baby thrived and we would not trade it.

Babies should have to compete with other babies for attention and care? You know like 3-4 babies per child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had trust issues too but was a lot less anxious about a nanny in my home caring for one baby than I was about several daycare providers caring for tons of babies. I work from home but if I didn’t, I would have put up cameras until I really go comfortable with hr (with the nanny’s knowledge of course). I’ve worked jobs where I had cameras on me so I don’t think that’s offensive.

There are safety issues aside from provider neglect/abuse. If there’s a fire, I don’t see how daycares can rescue all the kids quickly given the child to teacher ratios. And sadly, I worry about mass shootings even at a daycare. There was the daycare tragedy in Thailand recently- it could easily have happened here.

Multiple babies per caregiver is just sad. I sent my baby to daycare one day for backup care and felt terrible for her. All of these babies just sitting alone on a floor waiting for someone to feed them or care for them. Anyone who chooses that over a nanny at home providing one-on-one care is a moron.