If you're anti-nanny but both you and your partner WOH, could you please explain why?
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Anonymous
| It seems as though I've come across a number of moms who say things like, "I don't believe in nannies" or "I would never let a non-family member watch my children" despite being in a HH where both parents work full time outside the home. I'm genuinely curious (no judgment) -- if this is you, could you please explain why this is your philosophy? |
Anonymous
| They can't afford a nanny and are jealous of those who can. It's the same with public school parents who oppose private school or think it's a waste of money. Why is this even a question? It's so obvious! |
Anonymous
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Lots of people prefer daycare.
Nannies are easier in a lot of ways but exhausting in others. The mental energy to be someone’s boss and the lack of privacy in your own home is really hard for a lot of people. |
Anonymous
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I preferred a childcare center that was very close to my office because it maximized my time with my daughter. We had a nanny for a few months before daycare was available, and it was a much bigger hassle for me, logistically.
Ultimately it is personal preference plus financial necessity. Childcare is expensive. Nanny was more expensive than we could afford. If we’d been able to afford it, we’d still choose daycare. |
Anonymous
| I can see the appeal for the baby years, but from preschool-age on, my kids want to play with other kids! I can work from home a lot, so does DH, and especially in the summer, we offer to let the kids stay home. They usually want to go to our daycare center (which operates like a camp in the summer) and see other kids, go on the field trips, etc. |
Anonymous
This |
Anonymous
| Friends had bad experiences with a couple nannies before finding a great one. I was absolutely horrified by nanny behavior I saw once while with my own child (the little girl told me the person who was supposed to be watching her was the nanny, so I’m confident it was not a grandparent or something). I 100 percent believe there are amazing nannies and once the nanny is settled it can be great. I was not willing to kiss the frogs to get there and our infant daycare was great. I liked that there were multiple eyes on the room at all times. By 2 my kids were very social and enjoyed the time with other kids and I don’t think we could have afforded a full time nanny plus high quality preschool then. FWIW my introverted younger child struggled more with full day preschool (had been fine for the older one) so if I had not had the ability to let him come home right after we would have needed a different solution- he could not have done multiple hours of aftercare at 4. So I also think it depends on the kid. |
Anonymous
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More parents should start thinking more about what’s best for their child, and less about what’s most convenient for them. The earliest years of life are the very foundation for the rest of your child’s entire life. This isn’t the time to skimp on costs if neither the parents nor extended family is willing/available to do the important work of infant/ toddler care. Stability, competence and love are all critical. |
Anonymous
| I’m not anti nanny but I much prefer a daycare. I like the rules and regulations and I dislike having to manage household employees. |
Anonymous
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Someone I know didn't want to give up the control to someone else's judgement. Daycares have set schedules / rules / approaches etc (in theory) and you can shop around and find what you agree with and there's no individual person you're having to negotiate with on something like should more bites of lunch be encouraged if they don't eat much.
I have a nanny - there's definitely pros and cons and even within good nannies pros and cons between different types. But i'm an "always nanny" person because I prioritize my kids napping in their cribs on their schedule, getting to go different places every day, having lots of 1:1 adult attention for whatever interests them and other things that i realize likely don't actually matter a whole lot and someone else would have valid other priorities that would make them an "always daycare" person |
Anonymous
Disagree! I can't afford a nanny but would prefer one to day care if I had the option. On the other hand, I actually do oppose private school. |
Anonymous
Um, no. We could have afforded a nanny but preferred the accountability and transparency of daycare and having multiple caregivers. Unless you have a camera on her at all times, you have NO IDEA what your nanny is doing. My sister, after noticing some bruising on her baby, put up a nanny cam and discovered that her nanny was hitting/being very rough with her child. I've also seen way too many nannies on their phone/chatting with people and completely ignoring the children in crowded public spaces. Call me a control freak, but I much preferred knowing where my children were and who they were around. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| We've done both (nanny with older and daycare with younger) and preferred daycare. Frankly, convenience is really important to me. Having to deal with a sick nanny, nanny on vacation, so much time off, all the bonuses, increases in pay annually, etc. |
Anonymous
+1 to this. Daycare is slightly cheaper for us than a nanny (we have 2 kids, one of whom is now in elementary school), but I also prefer the fact that there is more socialization at daycare, I don't have to manage an employee and deal with all that entails, and there's direct oversight of the staff at daycare by involved, proactive managers. We found a wonderful center with very low employee turnover - many of the staff and teachers have been there for years. I personally know 2 families that had dangerously neglectful situations occur with their nannies and, while I know that isn't the norm (and of course can happen at a daycare, too), it made me very nervous as a new mom to go that route. |