Is 14 too young for gf/bf?
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Anonymous
| I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror! |
Anonymous
Agreed. No head in sand. Two kids. DS 18 and has never dated. Wish he’d have at least one positive relationship experience before college. Second is DD 14 and just started a relationship with a boy who has been a friend for a while. Seems a bit young but she is relatively mature. She does things out in public w him every other week. Sees him every day at school. They are over heels for each other. Both really good kids and well suited to each other w common interests and goals. Nice family etc. I am dreading the potential heartbreak at this young age but don’t think there is really anything I can do to contain their feelings other than keep them from being alone in a room. Not going to completely forbid interaction but acknowledge and use opportunity to help her understand a healthy relationship. Every kid and situation is different. |
Anonymous
EXTREMELY UNUSUAL to have an entire group of college friends who NEVER dated in high school. And then some never even dated into their 20s? That is BIZARRE and far outside developmental norms. |
Anonymous
14 isn’t high school. This thread isn’t about forbidding dating all four years of high school, but about which year we start allowing it. Obviously parents’ opinion on this varies. |
Anonymous
This is laughable. None of your friends dated in high school and not one had a random hook-up in college? Um yeah.... |
Anonymous
This is silly. Just because some kids are dating at 14 doesn’t mean all of them are or even that the majority of them are. My 15 year old isn’t dating and isn’t showing an interest in dating. She has parental permission to start dating at 16. Do I understand that some parents allow it at 14? Sure. Do I understand that teens are growing up at 14? Sure! That has nothing to do with which age we start allowing it in our house. |
Anonymous
Wait so only frat crowds have sex in college? LOL. Someone still has a lot of scars they need to address in therapy. |
Anonymous
Not really. Sorry you can’t possibly think there are all kinds of people and groups in life. Shockingly, there were virgins at college too!!! When did I say there wasn’t dating in their 20s? |
Anonymous
Never said they were the only ones, but with frats come a lot of parties, drinking, and hooks ups. Everyone knows that….my friends and I weren’t part of that crowd. |
Anonymous
It is 9th grade for those of us who weren't held back and did not redshirt our kids. 14, 15, 16, 17 is high school for many. I turned 18 the July before I went to college. |
Anonymous
Not allowing dating at 14 isn’t the same thing as not allowing dating at all in high school. |
Anonymous
Gotcha. I thought the PP was saying 14 was middle school. "Allowing" dating is hilarious. How do you prevent? |
Anonymous
You can’t stop them from hanging out at school, but given 14 year olds don’t have a car, there’s a lot you can do to prevent dating otherwise, by simply monitoring where you taking the child and who they are hanging out with, and of course not allowing the girl to come over in the same way you would his friends. |
Anonymous
You know it’s not the same as it was. Bad idea. |
Anonymous
This is true. Times have changed. We respect women far more than we did in the 70s and 80s. At 14, I thought my self worth was based completely on my desirability and whether some guy wanted to date me. Have you ever rewatched 80s films? Females are one dimensional characters that do nothing but expose themselves on screen to the enjoyment of male producers. I think most young women today have a greater sense of autonomy and self worth. Dating that young is no longer required or , for some kids, on their minds at all. Thank goodness |