Extracurriculars you regret supporting

[Anonymous]

Girl and Boy Scout. All of it. What a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gymnastics answers make me nervous lol. My son has be doing competitive gymnastics for 6 months. So far loves it, but seems like most of these responders are talking about women's gymnastics. Do the same issues apply for men?

Of course. Maybe not the eating disorder angle, but that for sure is still a risk. But gymnastics is extremely damaging to joints. Plus the potential for serious head/neck injury is high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This area is competitive, selective, and has a lot of parents with a lot of money.

This is true of almost any urban or suburban area in America. You might be surprised how much worse Texas, CO, and CA can be than here, or even Florida where certain sports never stop. I don't think it's at all specific to DC/NOVA/MD.

I hear in other parts of the country, kids get homeschooled and such when they are really good at sports. THat would be unheard of (or really frowned upon) here.

This happens with serious classical musicians as well. The only way you can practice for six or seven hours a day.

It’s still worth it to some people to have gotten to the point where they even need to make that decision. It enriches your entire life as long as you live (music especially).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You can do dance lessons at the neighborhood studio down the street, and be active, learn some grace and musicality, and have fun with neighborhood friends. You can play rec soccer from age 3 to high school. You can take gymnastics classes and never go to a competition.

I consider this a bigger waste than the more competitive and expensive activities. If you’re going to have your kid downs so much time doing something at least let them learn what excellence is and what it takes to become good at something instead of spending a lot of time on something mediocre or low quality. What a waste of time.

How sad. If your kid likes to play the piano but won't make it to Julliard, he should just quit? What if he really likes playing?

That’s not what I’m saying. If he really likes piano but won’t make it to Juilliard he should still have an excellent teacher and at least the opportunity to decide if he wants to make it to Juilliard, not spend a ton of time learning from the mediocre.

[Anonymous]

I am opposed to anything that requires makeup that isn’t theater.

[Anonymous]

So far no one has mentioned they regretted having their kids in club swimming..I have a 9 year old in club swimming so good to hear! Although the time commitment gets pretty brutal by the teen years, no one regrets it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So far no one has mentioned they regretted having their kids in club swimming..I have a 9 year old in club swimming so good to hear! Although the time commitment gets pretty brutal by the teen years, no one regrets it?

It's just that the serious swim parents are too sleep deprived to check DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Our kids did a variety of sports and activities. The advice I would give as an “old” parent in retrospect:

1. Be realistic about what your family can afford in time and money costs. You really cannot do something for one and not others.

2. Absolutely recognize that each kid is different in talents and interests.

3. Keep reassessing regularly; interest and ability.

4. All activities require time commitments and you, as the parent, have to be able to assess (as best you can and in light of available advice) whether additional time is needed. No one sits down at a piano for the first time and plays a Mozart Sonata. There will be a million times when kids will want to do something else, and you have to be the parent. Kids are not great at thinking long term in years. Long term to a 9 year old is a matter of weeks.

5. Understand what’s available where you live and what that means for further participation. That is not just what activities and sports are around for young kids. Think about what your kid likes and might be able to do as he/she gets older. Again, this is something you have to keep continually reassessing. (My oldest entered high school as a football/baseball kid. He took a freshman choir class because it was basically the only option for him that did not also entail lots of work. He now has his Masters in choral conducting, teaches choir and is a church choir conductor. So - things happen along the way.)

Do spend time learning about available options. Do think about what it takes in your area for your kid to be able to participate in sports and activities as they get into high school. At a small school that may be very different that a medium to big school. If your kid is going to attend a 3000 student high school, there are still only going to be 15 kids on the varsity basketball team. Take a look on line at the sports and activities currently offered at the high school your kids will attend. Is your kid going to be able to make a team? Get a role in the play? Play in the jazz band? What does it likely take to get them to the point where they can actually do what interests them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So far no one has mentioned they regretted having their kids in club swimming..I have a 9 year old in club swimming so good to hear! Although the time commitment gets pretty brutal by the teen years, no one regrets it?

I have a teen in club swim and I think one of the good aspects of club swim is there are many options. Yes you can get up at 4:30am and swim for 90 minutes to 2 hours 5-6 days a week, but there are also 2-3x a week in the evening options. And many clubs and pool locations, so you can find something close to your home. There are options to pursue it but less intensely.

I would regret pursuing anything that didn't allow my kid to stay involved in the things he likes doing. He doesn't want to do one thing year round. That is the biggest challenge as they get older that I dislike. Many activities for kids of this generation in these hyper-competitive metro areas are so intense. There is no playing 2-3 sports and also being in the band through high school like back in our day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am opposed to anything that requires makeup that isn’t theater.

Yes! I wasted so much time slathering "required" make-up on my kids when they were younger so they could spend 2 minutes on stage for dance recitals. If I could have found a local studio that minimized recitals and the use of costumes/make-up etc. for younger ages, I absolutely would have taken them to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So far no one has mentioned they regretted having their kids in club swimming..I have a 9 year old in club swimming so good to hear! Although the time commitment gets pretty brutal by the teen years, no one regrets it?

My kids are in club swimming. It has potential to be over the top and time consuming and expensive..

But for us, it is very much an individual choice what kind of experience you want to have since swimming is an individual sport. Our club has the option for 2-6 days per week of practices. You can pick what works for you. They publish the meet schedule at the beginning of the year. You can go to all the meets, one, or none- up to you. Since my kids also do another sport, we only do practice 3 days per week for swim and maybe 2 meets per year. Some clubs do have minimum participation requirements, but as long as you find one that is flexible it doesn't have to be insane. With that said...I do hate swim meets. So many kids and parents and HOT and all day. I couldn't handle more than a couple per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This area is competitive, selective, and has a lot of parents with a lot of money.

This is true of almost any urban or suburban area in America. You might be surprised how much worse Texas, CO, and CA can be than here, or even Florida where certain sports never stop. I don't think it's at all specific to DC/NOVA/MD.

I hear in other parts of the country, kids get homeschooled and such when they are really good at sports. THat would be unheard of (or really frowned upon) here.

Lots of very high level soccer boys around here do online school their last couple of years of HS. Likely frowned upon by most DCUM parents, but far from unheard of, for better or worse. I’m guessing this is true of plenty of other kids in other sports in the DMV.

It happens here too. I’m a high school teacher and have students leave public to be homeschooled, take online classes or do some sort of combination to have more time for sports or dance or to graduate early. We know people in our personal life who did the same for sports or gymnastics for their kids in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girl and Boy Scout. All of it. What a waste of time.

What age and rank were your kids when they stopped?

[Anonymous]

Horseback riding, expensive and not sustainable as a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So far no one has mentioned they regretted having their kids in club swimming..I have a 9 year old in club swimming so good to hear! Although the time commitment gets pretty brutal by the teen years, no one regrets it?

My kids are in club swimming. It has potential to be over the top and time consuming and expensive..

But for us, it is very much an individual choice what kind of experience you want to have since swimming is an individual sport. Our club has the option for 2-6 days per week of practices. You can pick what works for you. They publish the meet schedule at the beginning of the year. You can go to all the meets, one, or none- up to you. Since my kids also do another sport, we only do practice 3 days per week for swim and maybe 2 meets per year. Some clubs do have minimum participation requirements, but as long as you find one that is flexible it doesn't have to be insane. With that said...I do hate swim meets. So many kids and parents and HOT and all day. I couldn't handle more than a couple per year.

I'm a club swim parent. I never go to the winter meets. We started dropping off by age 11. Agree with rest of this post. Winter swim you can really choose how much to engage. My kid does it and also plays another winter sport.