For fun: Let's be the worst Thanksgiving ever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm your mom's third glass of white wine, after which she'll begin telling you how annoying your father has been since retirement.

Pray tell why is this “fun?”

No one’s making you read this thread, sunshine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ambulance wails,
No! Grandma on a stretcher.
Yes, salmonella.

😂 💀😂💀😂💀😂

And it’s haiku!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

The original formally unmarried, child free aunt here - I had no problem with the kids, and actually enjoyed spending time with them. I did have a problem with my entitled brother and SIL who never actually asked or appreciated what my mom did, and have now had pretty much refused to provide any emotional or logistical assistance to them as they age. Luckily I have a sister who is amazing and is around as they age. They’ve also been an awful uncle and aunt to my child.

[Anonymous]

I’m the original-to-the-house 1969 Dispose-All garbage disposal and Sears Kenmore stainless steel sink that will back up and cease working because the new homeowners didn’t understand that potato peels can’t go down the garbage disposal. This will occur Thanksgiving Eve prior to hosting 24.

[Anonymous]

I’m the special sentimental coffee mug you hid because MIL seeks it out every time she visits and always puts it in the dishwasher even though you have repeatedly told her not to because it’s one of a kind and you don’t want it to fade. You did a great job hiding me in the very back of the top shelf of the corner cabinet behind the cups and saucers for your China set that nobody has touched in 10 years, but guess what? She found me, used me, and yup, I’m in the dishwasher that’s going as we speak….

[Anonymous]

I'm the SIL who expects your older kids to entertain my much younger kid while I drink multiple glasses of your wine. If your kids pick up books or otherwise wander off for half an hour, I'll complain to you.

[Anonymous]

I’m the ghost of Thanksgiving past reminding you NOT to drink that last glass of wine. Remember last time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

PS. I have kids of my own and would never expect my childless sister to babysit them. Parenthood doesn't give you a free pass to make endless demands on others.

[Anonymous]

Pumpkin pie healing.

Sweet potato therapy.

Set the turkey free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

[Anonymous]

I'm your snoring husband as you surf DCUM, awaiting coffee and a better day tomorrow...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the special sentimental coffee mug you hid because MIL seeks it out every time she visits and always puts it in the dishwasher even though you have repeatedly told her not to because it’s one of a kind and you don’t want it to fade. You did a great job hiding me in the very back of the top shelf of the corner cabinet behind the cups and saucers for your China set that nobody has touched in 10 years, but guess what? She found me, used me, and yup, I’m in the dishwasher that’s going as we speak….

Wtf? Why does she want to use that mug so desperately?
Next time hide it in your underwear drawer with a note to MIL attached. “Dear MIL, why in the world are you looking in here? Do not touch this mug.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

Oh, OK. You’re gross. We get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the special sentimental coffee mug you hid because MIL seeks it out every time she visits and always puts it in the dishwasher even though you have repeatedly told her not to because it’s one of a kind and you don’t want it to fade. You did a great job hiding me in the very back of the top shelf of the corner cabinet behind the cups and saucers for your China set that nobody has touched in 10 years, but guess what? She found me, used me, and yup, I’m in the dishwasher that’s going as we speak….

Wtf? Why does she want to use that mug so desperately?
Next time hide it in your underwear drawer with a note to MIL attached. “Dear MIL, why in the world are you looking in here? Do not touch this mug.”

I don’t know!?! It’s insane. I am definitely hiding it in my bedroom the next time they visit. It’s not even fancy, it’s just a regular mug that I’ve had for 20+ years.