For fun: Let's be the worst Thanksgiving ever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the host cat's puckery a-hole, up on the counters, winking at you while I plop myself down on eating surfaces.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the poopy diaper that your SIL changed on the counter and then threw in the kitchen trash before washing her hands in the kitchen sink.

Ugh, you know my SIL.
She likes to leave poopy diapers on the couch in the living room. Where she also changes her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to summarize in a haiku.

You see them rarely
One day won’t hurt, might be fun
Stop making that face!

Mine are not coming
One of mine is borderline
So more ranch for me!

-Flip Driscoll

I’ve flipping missed you

[Anonymous]

I am the thermostat set at 80 because my parents are old and apparently very cold. I am the chapped lips and parched skin that follows. Also the window I just opened in the bedroom. Shhhhhhh

[Anonymous]

I'm the pot smoke emanating from the garage. I am your one salvation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pot smoke emanating from the garage. I am your one salvation.

[Anonymous]

I'm the skid marks Uncle Jim left in the toilet you're sharing with him.

[Anonymous]

I’m the 9th soda and Christmas cookie Nana gives to toddler because why deprive her sweetheart. Nana forgets about allergies.

[Anonymous]

Turkeyless dinner

With two vegetarians.

@#$% 2022

[Anonymous]

The ambulance wails,
No! Grandma on a stretcher.
Yes, salmonella.

[Anonymous]

I am your mom wanting to run through and pick over all details and possible plans every morning at 6:30 a.m. before you have had even one sip of coffee.

[Anonymous]

I am the TV at impossibly loud levels so that BIL can hear the game over everyone talking and the kids screaming and the switch game and the other TV with the World Cup on.

[Anonymous]

I am the toilet in the hall powder room outside the dining room, who also deserves a holiday and therefore I will not be working today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the toilet in the hall powder room outside the dining room, who also deserves a holiday and therefore I will not be working today.

ahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ambulance wails,
No! Grandma on a stretcher.
Yes, salmonella.

Or she fell for the 4th time in two days because canes are for “old people”and 80 is the new 70.