For fun: Let's be the worst Thanksgiving ever

[Anonymous]

This one is not off to a good start. Picked 80 yr old parents up at DCA today. In the 20 minute drive home from airport found out:
1. Dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer
2. Mom has signs of dementia and is in denial about Dad’s diagnosis
3. They need place to stay for 6-9 months due to damage to their home

And while the above was being discussed, my college senior in the backseat received a phone call to get a rejection for the job she’d been waiting to hear back about.So instead of discussing topics 1-3, my, apparently inherited, avoidance techniques kicked in and we all spent the rest of the drive home discussing the job rejection instead of topics 1-3…

“What kind of company calls to reject you at 4:30 on Thankgsiving Eve???” (Grandpa)
- The kind of company you DEFINITELY don’t want to work for. (Me)

“Why couldn’t they wait and call you on Friday or Monday?” (Grandma)
- Because they work 100 hours a week and didn’t realize tomorrow is a holiday. (DH)

“Don’t they know she is a workhorse who doesn’t know when to stop?” (Grandpa)
“And a smart, kind, beautiful Ivy League grad?” (Grandma)

And so and so on until we arrived home and I realized how incredibly thankful I am to have both of my parents, my children and spouse together one last time for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ambulance wails,
No! Grandma on a stretcher.
Yes, salmonella.

😂 💀😂💀😂💀😂

[Anonymous]

I'm a pristine kitchen. Out with you philistines. You just ate 7 hours ago and shall not pass my immaculate threshold. There's a gas station down the street. I'm sure they have pop tarts and hot fries and other things peasants like you can eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the double mattress your ILs bought in 1985 and that you’re sharing with your spouse for the next 3 nights. I’m friends with the bathroom that 5 adults and 3 kids are sharing.

oooph!

Hope you're not colleagues with the powder room that took a holiday and is not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the TV at impossibly loud levels so that BIL can hear the game over everyone talking and the kids screaming and the switch game and the other TV with the World Cup on.

This one is giving me anxiety and setting my teeth on edge.

[Anonymous]

Hey, it’s me, the small ball of phlegm in your dad’s throat that causes him to “hmm-HMMM” clear his throat literally every 20 seconds between the hours of 5:30 a.m. and 7:30 a.m. What’s that? You were trying to sleep? “HMMMMM-AHRGHEM!”

[Anonymous]

It’s me, your normally sweet children who slept poorly last night and are may be coming down with something! I’m going to bite little cousin Larlo and throw up on the kitchen floor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s me, your normally sweet children who slept poorly last night and are may be coming down with something! I’m going to bite little cousin Larlo and throw up on the kitchen floor.

You should leave. No one wants biting brats or sick kids in the house. Sorry it didn’t work out this year. Leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This one is not off to a good start. Picked 80 yr old parents up at DCA today. In the 20 minute drive home from airport found out:
1. Dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer
2. Mom has signs of dementia and is in denial about Dad’s diagnosis
3. They need place to stay for 6-9 months due to damage to their home

And while the above was being discussed, my college senior in the backseat received a phone call to get a rejection for the job she’d been waiting to hear back about.So instead of discussing topics 1-3, my, apparently inherited, avoidance techniques kicked in and we all spent the rest of the drive home discussing the job rejection instead of topics 1-3…

“What kind of company calls to reject you at 4:30 on Thankgsiving Eve???” (Grandpa)
- The kind of company you DEFINITELY don’t want to work for. (Me)

“Why couldn’t they wait and call you on Friday or Monday?” (Grandma)
- Because they work 100 hours a week and didn’t realize tomorrow is a holiday. (DH)

“Don’t they know she is a workhorse who doesn’t know when to stop?” (Grandpa)
“And a smart, kind, beautiful Ivy League grad?” (Grandma)

And so and so on until we arrived home and I realized how incredibly thankful I am to have both of my parents, my children and spouse together one last time for the holidays.

I’m so sorry about your parents, PP. Good luck to your DD for the next time.

I am the antsy husband who makes us arrive late and then wants to leave before his wife does.

[Anonymous]

I am the table, under the weight of a crap ton of a variety of foods, yet I still find the energy to laugh at you when your kids refuse to eat a single bite of any of it.

[Anonymous]

I am your parents’ only toilet. I was born in 1990. I’m not used to this much attention since you all graduated and left the nest. I don’t feel very well. After breakfast today, I think I will begin overflowing. This will probably cause various members of your family to blame each other. Do plumbers work on Thanksgiving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This one is not off to a good start. Picked 80 yr old parents up at DCA today. In the 20 minute drive home from airport found out:
1. Dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer
2. Mom has signs of dementia and is in denial about Dad’s diagnosis
3. They need place to stay for 6-9 months due to damage to their home

And while the above was being discussed, my college senior in the backseat received a phone call to get a rejection for the job she’d been waiting to hear back about.So instead of discussing topics 1-3, my, apparently inherited, avoidance techniques kicked in and we all spent the rest of the drive home discussing the job rejection instead of topics 1-3…

“What kind of company calls to reject you at 4:30 on Thankgsiving Eve???” (Grandpa)
- The kind of company you DEFINITELY don’t want to work for. (Me)

“Why couldn’t they wait and call you on Friday or Monday?” (Grandma)
- Because they work 100 hours a week and didn’t realize tomorrow is a holiday. (DH)

“Don’t they know she is a workhorse who doesn’t know when to stop?” (Grandpa)
“And a smart, kind, beautiful Ivy League grad?” (Grandma)

And so and so on until we arrived home and I realized how incredibly thankful I am to have both of my parents, my children and spouse together one last time for the holidays.

So sorry PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, it’s me, the small ball of phlegm in your dad’s throat that causes him to “hmm-HMMM” clear his throat literally every 20 seconds between the hours of 5:30 a.m. and 7:30 a.m. What’s that? You were trying to sleep? “HMMMMM-AHRGHEM!”

OMG, this is my DH. Drives me crazy!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This one is not off to a good start. Picked 80 yr old parents up at DCA today. In the 20 minute drive home from airport found out:
1. Dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer
2. Mom has signs of dementia and is in denial about Dad’s diagnosis
3. They need place to stay for 6-9 months due to damage to their home

And while the above was being discussed, my college senior in the backseat received a phone call to get a rejection for the job she’d been waiting to hear back about.So instead of discussing topics 1-3, my, apparently inherited, avoidance techniques kicked in and we all spent the rest of the drive home discussing the job rejection instead of topics 1-3…

“What kind of company calls to reject you at 4:30 on Thankgsiving Eve???” (Grandpa)
- The kind of company you DEFINITELY don’t want to work for. (Me)

“Why couldn’t they wait and call you on Friday or Monday?” (Grandma)
- Because they work 100 hours a week and didn’t realize tomorrow is a holiday. (DH)

“Don’t they know she is a workhorse who doesn’t know when to stop?” (Grandpa)
“And a smart, kind, beautiful Ivy League grad?” (Grandma)

And so and so on until we arrived home and I realized how incredibly thankful I am to have both of my parents, my children and spouse together one last time for the holidays.

I’m so sorry about all of this PP. What a wonderful attitude you have. Hoping for a joyous day for you.

[Anonymous]

Turkey is so so dry

Why does this dumb flightless bird

Make me want to cry