For fun: Let's be the worst Thanksgiving ever

[Anonymous]

I am the sneeze that was just emitted from the 7 year old boy standing in front of the entire Thanksgiving spread.

[Anonymous]

I am the empty house now for sale after the final Thanksgiving. Walk through my rooms. The laughter, the tears, the recriminations and lamentations, the forgiveness, the births, and the deaths, I witnessed it all. Now I await a new family to start the cycle again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the empty house now for sale after the final Thanksgiving. Walk through my rooms. The laughter, the tears, the recriminations and lamentations, the forgiveness, the births, and the deaths, I witnessed it all. Now I await a new family to start the cycle again.

Aww. I live next door to this house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the table with fewer guests each year that passes; a sighing of missed smiles and conversations. A feast that is too vast for the guests and a holiday picture with too many missing faces. I miss them.

Same. I miss the big family gatherings of my childhood. It’s DH and me and 2 sullen teenagers.

Same for me, too. My holidays growing up had the entire family - grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, dozens and dozens of people. Now, between people moving away and various estrangements, I haven’t had a family holiday in years. I haven’t even SEEN most of my family in years.

[Anonymous]

I'm your hangover this morning after drinking too much lukewarm white wine to get through your uncle's inept political discourse.
Your kids don't care about me. Up and attem! Your MIL doesn't care either. Want to hit the Black Friday sales?
I will linger until lunchtime, reminding you why you rarely drink anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

I hope you are playing along and don’t really personally mean this.

As an aside, as the “poor friend”, I paid my way on many “rich friends” family vacations by babysitting the drug addict brother, bulimic sister, suicidal cousin, demented grandmother, or creepy uncle. The work it entails is never fully acknowledged and in the end the person you are “paying” still feels like they gave you the gift of hospitality rather than you working for it. As a junior in college, I discovered a real work-stay exchange and had an amazing week abroad with well-defined duties and hours, none of which were onerous.

[Anonymous]

I’m your 5 year old nephew who, after dinner, vomited copiously on the carpeted floor in your newly finished basement playroom. Your oldest DC came upstairs while you were washing dishes to express concern. Nephew’s parents made a quick attempt to clean up the vomit from the carpet but the party must go on so therefore were the last family to leave circa 730 pm.

You, the host, have to do a true deep cleaning and sterilization and lament that this family always, always is the vector for every imaginable contagious disease because they bring their sick kids to every family event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the table with fewer guests each year that passes; a sighing of missed smiles and conversations. A feast that is too vast for the guests and a holiday picture with too many missing faces. I miss them.

I love this.

[Anonymous]

I'm your teenage nephew trying to sneak alcohol, lots of it, when your sister isn't looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

Is everything transactional with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

I hope you are playing along and don’t really personally mean this.

As an aside, as the “poor friend”, I paid my way on many “rich friends” family vacations by babysitting the drug addict brother, bulimic sister, suicidal cousin, demented grandmother, or creepy uncle. The work it entails is never fully acknowledged and in the end the person you are “paying” still feels like they gave you the gift of hospitality rather than you working for it. As a junior in college, I discovered a real work-stay exchange and had an amazing week abroad with well-defined duties and hours, none of which were onerous.

m

Moochers get what they get. You can’t contribute in some way? Stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

Is everything transactional with you?

Says the freeloader. Wants a free room, numerous free meals, free wine, and not lifting a finger. Contributing zip.

[Anonymous]

I am the person you hate. I invite our dear friends over with their young DD who adorably plays with our DD. I prepared everything the day before. I dry brined the turkey and deconstructed it on Tuesday, so it cooked in about 2 ours, rested, and was super moist, and super flavorful, and so was everything else. I talked to spouse's parents briefly (they interrupted their close attention to staring at the walls to speak to us. They had to heat up the stovetop after raking the leaves from the yard that is more important than their granddaughter; my parents are dead). I made a delicious dinner, spouse decorated the table splendidly, and we spent the day and evening laughing with our friends. I found the lack of drama, and the food, to be blissful. I am an ass for reading all of these posts and cringing, for I lived many of these toils and troubles, but they are distant memories. I (and my wife) made choices and we now reap the benefits. I bid you strength to do what you think can't be done, and not put yourself through the hell for the sake of "family."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

I hope you are playing along and don’t really personally mean this.

As an aside, as the “poor friend”, I paid my way on many “rich friends” family vacations by babysitting the drug addict brother, bulimic sister, suicidal cousin, demented grandmother, or creepy uncle. The work it entails is never fully acknowledged and in the end the person you are “paying” still feels like they gave you the gift of hospitality rather than you working for it. As a junior in college, I discovered a real work-stay exchange and had an amazing week abroad with well-defined duties and hours, none of which were onerous.

m

Moochers get what they get. You can’t contribute in some way? Stay home.

You never have guests. You only have clients. So sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

I hope you are playing along and don’t really personally mean this.

As an aside, as the “poor friend”, I paid my way on many “rich friends” family vacations by babysitting the drug addict brother, bulimic sister, suicidal cousin, demented grandmother, or creepy uncle. The work it entails is never fully acknowledged and in the end the person you are “paying” still feels like they gave you the gift of hospitality rather than you working for it. As a junior in college, I discovered a real work-stay exchange and had an amazing week abroad with well-defined duties and hours, none of which were onerous.

m

Moochers get what they get. You can’t contribute in some way? Stay home.

You never have guests. You only have clients. So sad.

No, sweetie, I host family. And in our family, everyone helps. No one sits around like a Princess who expects endless cooking, cleaning, shopping, and entertaining without so much as bringing a bottle of wine and playing one board game with nieces and nephews.