Redshirting my son for pre-k - May birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My August 28 birthday boy was sent on time to school. He does very well academically. He is in middle school now and I keep hearing comments from his teachers about how he is immature and “young” for his grade. He is being compared to boys in his grade that are 14 1/2 and 15, when he just passed 13 1/2. He actually behaves age appropriate, but the age difference is stark at this age. It kinda sucks.

He’s not immature, he’s age appropriate. We have had no issues with our fall kid but I’d remind the teachers they are not making age appropriate statements. I know a 16 year old freshman and it’s absurd.

[Anonymous]

This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

[Anonymous]

May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not red shirt my May kid and he was always 1 step behind. It was not earth shattering but it was clear he could have used another year. Most kids weren’t 1 month older most weeks 6-9 months older. It was obvious in 3rd, It was worst in middle school.

The problem was he was tall, personable and athletic… so he seemed more mature in K-5, but he clearly struggled socially and academically (except in math).

Just redshirt him.

Sound like you child was delayed regardless.

Well he ended up in T30 college so no.

[Anonymous]

It really bad 8th-11th when kids hit puberty and their friends are drinking, smoking pot and having sex and your kid is 1 year younger.

[Anonymous]

What a silly reason to hold back your child.

--mom of August boy who started KG at age 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

He’s more comfortable as that is who he is with. He needs to be with kids his own age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really bad 8th-11th when kids hit puberty and their friends are drinking, smoking pot and having sex and your kid is 1 year younger.

What difference does it make? As a parent you need to prepare them and teach them right from wrong. If your kid is doing those things you’ve got bigger issues. Holding back does not fix those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

+1

This only happens the fevered imaginations of some socially awkward DCUM posters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

DP. Well, I’ll let you know when it happens to the redshirted high school seniors who are friends with my unredshirted senior. It hasn’t happened yet but there are still six weeks left before they graduate high school so there is still a chance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.