Women who have affairs w/ men they know are married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously the person cheating is the one responsible to their spouse, but knowingly engaging with a married person is not doing the right thing.

During a low point I had two flings with men in relationships. I felt tremendous guilt. That feeling exists for a reason. It’s not the right thing to do!

Correct, but you have guilt and empathy. A lot of these sociopath, narcissists and borderline disordered people do not.

Because she is a real person. Who feels real remorse and real empathy for other real people and has apparently grown from the experience, all concepts the betrayed spouses in here cannot fathom. The OW is just a cartoon figure to them and they’re certain they know every malicious thought in her head but have no insight into their own limitations of perspective.

Once more for the cheap seats:

Correct, but SHE has guilt and empathy. A lot of these sociopath, narcissists and borderline disordered people do not. Like the majority on this thread.0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that as you can see by the almost universal tone taken towards them on this site, to the wife the OW isn’t a real person either, just a caricature. The wife’s perspective is also entirely self centered and distorted but she can’t hear it.


NP. You’re comparing a spouse who’s been betrayed to one who willingly engages with a married person? Boy oh boy.

No I’m comparing the myopia of one vs the myopia of the other. The moral judgment isn’t the point of the observation.

That is the most ridiculous argument.

To the betrayed: the OW is very real.

In fact, it’s that reality that blows up families and friendships and children’s lives.

To the OW in the affair (the wife doesn’t even know about her, remember?!?!!) - the kids and wife don’t exist or are an obstacle to overcome.

Unless you have been an OW, you don’t know what you are to her.

Unless she has talked to the OW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that as you can see by the almost universal tone taken towards them on this site, to the wife the OW isn’t a real person either, just a caricature. The wife’s perspective is also entirely self centered and distorted but she can’t hear it.


NP. You’re comparing a spouse who’s been betrayed to one who willingly engages with a married person? Boy oh boy.

No I’m comparing the myopia of one vs the myopia of the other. The moral judgment isn’t the point of the observation.

That is the most ridiculous argument.

To the betrayed: the OW is very real.

In fact, it’s that reality that blows up families and friendships and children’s lives.

To the OW in the affair (the wife doesn’t even know about her, remember?!?!!) - the kids and wife don’t exist or are an obstacle to overcome.

Unless you have been an OW, you don’t know what you are to her.

Unless she has talked to the OW.

Well, I did! She had zero empathy for me. She wanted me to feel sorry for HER, a cheating married woman banging my spouse. She was angry at me. Remorse, guilt, empathy….haaaaahaaaaa. None there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that as you can see by the almost universal tone taken towards them on this site, to the wife the OW isn’t a real person either, just a caricature. The wife’s perspective is also entirely self centered and distorted but she can’t hear it.


NP. You’re comparing a spouse who’s been betrayed to one who willingly engages with a married person? Boy oh boy.

No I’m comparing the myopia of one vs the myopia of the other. The moral judgment isn’t the point of the observation.

That is the most ridiculous argument.

To the betrayed: the OW is very real.

In fact, it’s that reality that blows up families and friendships and children’s lives.

To the OW in the affair (the wife doesn’t even know about her, remember?!?!!) - the kids and wife don’t exist or are an obstacle to overcome.

Unless you have been an OW, you don’t know what you are to her.

Unless she has talked to the OW.

Well, I did! She had zero empathy for me. She wanted me to feel sorry for HER, a cheating married woman banging my spouse. She was angry at me. Remorse, guilt, empathy….haaaaahaaaaa. None there.

And from her mouth: we mostly didn’t think about you (me and her husband).

[Anonymous]

^ oh they were thinking about you. Thinking how not to get caught. Thinking of what lies to tell you and how to cover their tracks. Making sure to do nice things, etc., so you wouldn’t be suspicious. Gaslighting.

[Anonymous]

Intrasex competition for a desirable partner will never go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s 2022 and we’re done blaming women for the transgressions of men. What an affair partner does is not good, but they’re not the one breaking their vows, taking away their spouses informed consent, and harming their children.

Agree. The person married is 100% at fault. It isn’t up to some random stranger you meet to make sure you don’t stray from your marriage vows. Maybe the woman doesn’t even know you are married. Either way- if she isn’t, your marriage isn’t hers or her problem. The person cheating is the problem- in its entirety. Done blaming women. Men that aren’t loyal to their spouse are the problem. They will always find “someone” whether it is a woman they lie to, a prostitute, a man in rest stop, an unsuspecting intern, a woman that just wants no strings attached too. The “other” person isn’t the problem. It is the married person that is the problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s 2022 and we’re done blaming women for the transgressions of men. What an affair partner does is not good, but they’re not the one breaking their vows, taking away their spouses informed consent, and harming their children.

Agree. The person married is 100% at fault. It isn’t up to some random stranger you meet to make sure you don’t stray from your marriage vows. Maybe the woman doesn’t even know you are married. Either way- if she isn’t, your marriage isn’t hers or her problem. The person cheating is the problem- in its entirety. Done blaming women. Men that aren’t loyal to their spouse are the problem. They will always find “someone” whether it is a woman they lie to, a prostitute, a man in rest stop, an unsuspecting intern, a woman that just wants no strings attached too. The “other” person isn’t the problem. It is the married person that is the problem

And married women cheat in high numbers these days too. In some age groups, even more than the men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol okay please tell us your secret formula on “how to spot a whore.”

This I love - how do you spot a "whore"? I admittedly have had affairs. Not a single person would look at me and think I'm a whore. Quite the opposite, I imagine most women find me unattractive. But men, that's a different story and I know if they are not sleeping with me they would be sleeping with someone else. It's always the married persons fault. The AP is just a convenience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol okay please tell us your secret formula on “how to spot a whore.”

This I love - how do you spot a "whore"? I admittedly have had affairs. Not a single person would look at me and think I'm a whore. Quite the opposite, [/b]I imagine most women find me unattractive. But men, that's a different story[b] and I know if they are not sleeping with me they would be sleeping with someone else. It's always the married persons fault. The AP is just a convenience.

Men have very low standards when it comes to no-strings sex. It’s not something to be proud of. JFC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol okay please tell us your secret formula on “how to spot a whore.”

This I love - how do you spot a "whore"? I admittedly have had affairs. Not a single person would look at me and think I'm a whore. Quite the opposite, I imagine most women find me unattractive. But men, that's a different story and I know if they are not sleeping with me they would be sleeping with someone else. It's always the married persons fault. The AP is just a convenience.

So you admit you are a whore?

[Anonymous]

This I love - how do you spot a "whore"? I admittedly have had affairs. Not a single person would look at me and think I'm a whore. Quite the opposite, I imagine most women find me unattractive. But men, that's a different story and I know if they are not sleeping with me they would be sleeping with someone else. It's always the married persons fault. The AP is just a convenience.

Your (lack of) moral code is really interesting. It is the married person’s fault - and yours, too. Part of being a good human is not needlessly hurting other people. You have totally failed at that. You are a convenience to your AP’s and much wise than that to their spouses.

[Anonymous]

^ worse not wise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s 2022 and we’re done blaming women for the transgressions of men. What an affair partner does is not good, but they’re not the one breaking their vows, taking away their spouses informed consent, and harming their children.

Agree. The person married is 100% at fault. It isn’t up to some random stranger you meet to make sure you don’t stray from your marriage vows. Maybe the woman doesn’t even know you are married. Either way- if she isn’t, your marriage isn’t hers or her problem. The person cheating is the problem- in its entirety. Done blaming women. Men that aren’t loyal to their spouse are the problem. They will always find “someone” whether it is a woman they lie to, a prostitute, a man in rest stop, an unsuspecting intern, a woman that just wants no strings attached too. The “other” person isn’t the problem. It is the married person that is the problem

Many married men who go on the apps and stuff flat out lie about their marriage, saying they have an open marriage or DADT. Unless you are really careful to verify you just don’t know if they are lying to get what they want.

I’ve always thought the real issue underlying infidelity is the dishonesty. Not only to others but also to yourself. It is a path taken by people who do not have the capacity to deal with their own emotions or the emotions of others. The lying allows them to cover up that incapacity with nice stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that as you can see by the almost universal tone taken towards them on this site, to the wife the OW isn’t a real person either, just a caricature. The wife’s perspective is also entirely self centered and distorted but she can’t hear it.


NP. You’re comparing a spouse who’s been betrayed to one who willingly engages with a married person? Boy oh boy.

No I’m comparing the myopia of one vs the myopia of the other. The moral judgment isn’t the point of the observation.

That is the most ridiculous argument.

To the betrayed: the OW is very real.

In fact, it’s that reality that blows up families and friendships and children’s lives.

To the OW in the affair (the wife doesn’t even know about her, remember?!?!!) - the kids and wife don’t exist or are an obstacle to overcome.

Unless you have been an OW, you don’t know what you are to her.

Unless she has talked to the OW.

Well, I did! She had zero empathy for me. She wanted me to feel sorry for HER, a cheating married woman banging my spouse. She was angry at me. Remorse, guilt, empathy….haaaaahaaaaa. None there.

And you have none for her. You are just proving the point here.