Women who have affairs w/ men they know are married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t see how you can make a case that the AP woman (assuming she is not married herself) is as equally at fault as the cheater since she made no vows of fidelity. Fwiw I have no problem with women or men who play the AP role and place 100% of the blame on the individual who broke his/her vows. You can’t force someone to cheat.

THIS^

Who cares if you fault her or not? You can 100% blame your spouse and still think the AP is a complete POS, trash person. The whole trajectory of this thread is ridiculous.

Even if a wife divorces her cheating husband and holds him 100% to blame, do you really think she's going to be besties with the OW or do you think she is going to think the OW was a piece of worthless dog crap/trash human?

How would you feel about a person that was secretly plotting your demise without your knowledge? I'm guessing you wouldn't think very highly of them either.

I didn't say that I would hold the AP in high esteem, but I would look at her more as an enabler than deserving of equal blame. Sure, she should not engage in a relationship with a married man, but at the same time, the ultimate responsibility lies with the man to not engage, as he alone is the one who made vows to another person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t see how you can make a case that the AP woman (assuming she is not married herself) is as equally at fault as the cheater since she made no vows of fidelity. Fwiw I have no problem with women or men who play the AP role and place 100% of the blame on the individual who broke his/her vows. You can’t force someone to cheat.

THIS^

Who cares if you fault her or not? You can 100% blame your spouse and still think the AP is a complete POS, trash person. The whole trajectory of this thread is ridiculous.

Even if a wife divorces her cheating husband and holds him 100% to blame, do you really think she's going to be besties with the OW or do you think she is going to think the OW was a piece of worthless dog crap/trash human?

How would you feel about a person that was secretly plotting your demise without your knowledge? I'm guessing you wouldn't think very highly of them either.

I didn't say that I would hold the AP in high esteem, but I would look at her more as an enabler than deserving of equal blame. Sure, she should not engage in a relationship with a married man, but at the same time, the ultimate responsibility lies with the man to not engage, as he alone is the one who made vows to another person.

Again: WHO CARES? Does it make an OW/OM feel better if people think this about them? That they had no responsibility? Just offered their hole?

Fault? Really?

They are both pieces of crap. I don’t think a person whose world has just been turned upside down without warning and has to explain the upheaval to their kids is really spending the time divvying out percentage “responsibility points”.

[Anonymous]

“Women who have affairs with married men” wouldn’t exist as a group if married men didn’t break their vows.

It’s 100% on the married men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Women who have affairs with married men” wouldn’t exist as a group if married men didn’t break their vows.

It’s 100% on the married men.

Lol, men produce 20x as much testosterone as women, leading to their much higher sex drives. If a woman, knowing this, gives a man even an opening, she's basically waving a red flag in front of a bull and is not blameless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Women who have affairs with married men” wouldn’t exist as a group if married men didn’t break their vows.

It’s 100% on the married men.

“Women who have affairs with married men” wouldn’t exist as a group if no women slept with married men who weren’t their husbands.

[Anonymous]

I know married women cheat with married men , and a very small disturbed subset will sleep with the pool guy or bar hook-ups, but I’d wager that MOST of them (single and married alike) get emotionally involved and it ends in an ugly way. Maybe not Emma Bovary, Anna Karenina ugly, but I think they ultimately feel a lack of self-respect, badly used and remorse as a result of the affair. They gave their hearts, however impure. You really can’t say the same of the opportunistic, cheating liar men. Testosterone is a hellauva drug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Women who have affairs with married men” wouldn’t exist as a group if married men didn’t break their vows.

It’s 100% on the married men.

“Women who have affairs with married men” wouldn’t exist as a group if no women slept with married men who weren’t their husbands.

Married women are having record numbers of affairs with married men with the help of Ashley Madison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I know married women cheat with married men , and a very small disturbed subset will sleep with the pool guy or bar hook-ups, but I’d wager that MOST of them (single and married alike) get emotionally involved and it ends in an ugly way. Maybe not Emma Bovary, Anna Karenina ugly, but I think they ultimately feel a lack of self-respect, badly used and remorse as a result of the affair. They gave their hearts, however impure. You really can’t say the same of the opportunistic, cheating liar men. Testosterone is a hellauva drug.

Oh yes the saintly cheating married women get a pass. Poor things those bad married men that were 50% equal partners in it.

Give me a f@@“king break. They all claimed it was no strings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t see how you can make a case that the AP woman (assuming she is not married herself) is as equally at fault as the cheater since she made no vows of fidelity. Fwiw I have no problem with women or men who play the AP role and place 100% of the blame on the individual who broke his/her vows. You can’t force someone to cheat.

THIS^

Who cares if you fault her or not? You can 100% blame your spouse and still think the AP is a complete POS, trash person. The whole trajectory of this thread is ridiculous.

Even if a wife divorces her cheating husband and holds him 100% to blame, do you really think she's going to be besties with the OW or do you think she is going to think the OW was a piece of worthless dog crap/trash human?

How would you feel about a person that was secretly plotting your demise without your knowledge? I'm guessing you wouldn't think very highly of them either.

+100
I didn't say that I would hold the AP in high esteem, but I would look at her more as an enabler than deserving of equal blame. Sure, she should not engage in a relationship with a married man, but at the same time, the ultimate responsibility lies with the man to not engage, as he alone is the one who made vows to another person.

Again: WHO CARES? Does it make an OW/OM feel better if people think this about them? That they had no responsibility? Just offered their hole?

Fault? Really?

They are both pieces of crap. I don’t think a person whose world has just been turned upside down without warning and has to explain the upheaval to their kids is really spending the time divvying out percentage “responsibility points”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I know married women cheat with married men , and a very small disturbed subset will sleep with the pool guy or bar hook-ups, but I’d wager that MOST of them (single and married alike) get emotionally involved and it ends in an ugly way. Maybe not Emma Bovary, Anna Karenina ugly, but I think they ultimately feel a lack of self-respect, badly used and remorse as a result of the affair. They gave their hearts, however impure. You really can’t say the same of the opportunistic, cheating liar men. Testosterone is a hellauva drug.

Cry me a river. Take that pain and multiply it by 1,000 and it still won’t come anywhere close to the pain and trauma the betrayed spouse feels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I know married women cheat with married men , and a very small disturbed subset will sleep with the pool guy or bar hook-ups, but I’d wager that MOST of them (single and married alike) get emotionally involved and it ends in an ugly way. Maybe not Emma Bovary, Anna Karenina ugly, but I think they ultimately feel a lack of self-respect, badly used and remorse as a result of the affair. They gave their hearts, however impure. You really can’t say the same of the opportunistic, cheating liar men. Testosterone is a hellauva drug.

Oh yes the saintly cheating married women get a pass. Poor things those bad married men that were 50% equal partners in it.

Give me a f@@“king break. They all claimed it was no strings.

It is never NSA for women; moreover, men know it and don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I know married women cheat with married men , and a very small disturbed subset will sleep with the pool guy or bar hook-ups, but I’d wager that MOST of them (single and married alike) get emotionally involved and it ends in an ugly way. Maybe not Emma Bovary, Anna Karenina ugly, but I think they ultimately feel a lack of self-respect, badly used and remorse as a result of the affair. They gave their hearts, however impure. You really can’t say the same of the opportunistic, cheating liar men. Testosterone is a hellauva drug.

Oh yes the saintly cheating married women get a pass. Poor things those bad married men that were 50% equal partners in it.

Give me a f@@“king break. They all claimed it was no strings.

It is never NSA for women; moreover, men know it and don’t care.

It’s what every single AM women claims it is. They lie then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t see how you can make a case that the AP woman (assuming she is not married herself) is as equally at fault as the cheater since she made no vows of fidelity. Fwiw I have no problem with women or men who play the AP role and place 100% of the blame on the individual who broke his/her vows. You can’t force someone to cheat.

Assigning. Fault? Who is keeping score? The woman is a nasty POS if she engages in an affair with a man she knows is married and has a family. It’s not about “fault”. It’s about possessing character, integrity, honor and empathy. No decent person would ever consider being an OW/OM.

Do you want to know an easy way to prevent all that? Th married man says no to the offer. It's as simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I know married women cheat with married men , and a very small disturbed subset will sleep with the pool guy or bar hook-ups, but I’d wager that MOST of them (single and married alike) get emotionally involved and it ends in an ugly way. Maybe not Emma Bovary, Anna Karenina ugly, but I think they ultimately feel a lack of self-respect, badly used and remorse as a result of the affair. They gave their hearts, however impure. You really can’t say the same of the opportunistic, cheating liar men. Testosterone is a hellauva drug.

Cry me a river. Take that pain and multiply it by 1,000 and it still won’t come anywhere close to the pain and trauma the betrayed spouse feels.

It is your H's fault. Place the blame on your H. It's not the AW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a different note, why do married men profess that they are happily married but cheat? I don’t think you can be happily married and do and say nasty things behind your wife’s back but I hear it all the time. Memo to yourself if you are a cheater - you are not happily married just fyi

They are not a good/happy person but their marriage is good/their wife is good.

Stop hoping their marriage is bad and they are leaving her for you.

Not hoping their marriage is bad but think its better to say nothing at all the profess how great it is. Obviously it isn't that great. I suppose people tell themselves the things they want to hear.

It’s often situational. In my cheating years, midlife, I was struggling inside. I had death of a college friend and a parent. I had a lot of unresolved stuff..and I went out and cheated. Zero to do with my wife or kids.

I hit the lottery with my wife, in-laws and kids. I truly did. I would tell you and told my AP then that my marriage was great. I needed to deal with my demons.

That’s in the past and I do have a marriage and partnership and kids that are incredible. I’m very happy.

It wasn’t “me” when I went through that phase if that makes sense. I was not a good person then and what I was doing did not make me happy. It made things worse.

Point is you could not take that to your wife. How great can the marriage be if you don’t trust her to see you at your most unlovable? I’m not saying it’s her fault you don’t trust, but don’t you see there is an intimacy issue between you and your wife that needed to be addressed and worked through if you couldn’t be yourself in your most vulnerable moment?

No. I grew up in a violent alcoholic household that learned to compartmentalize and hide our feelings. It’s not like I told the OW any of this. I was even more phony with her. My wife is the reason I finally decided to get help. She didn’t know it.

We are running. People like me. I’m the safest and I see what an incredible family my wife has and her mom and dad are the parents I always wished I had. It took her dad’s death, a man I respected so much to wake me up.

OMG, the PP is the wife who stayed with her cheating H and excused his cheating because of his upbringing. Now she's posting like him. Lady, you need help. Also men do not think or write like that.