Why can’t I just be honest and tell my daughter that living as a fat woman is hard

[Anonymous]

I am fat and have been my whole life and don’t want my daughter to experience this. So I just want to come right out and tell her - whatever you do, do
Not get fat. Cause the world is rough on fat people.

I know we are supposed to emphasize health and movement and body positivity but I can’t help but feel
I am not telling her the whole truth.

She is 14. And not fat at all - yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am fat and have been my whole life and don’t want my daughter to experience this. So I just want to come right out and tell her - whatever you do, do
Not get fat. Cause the world is rough on fat people.

I know we are supposed to emphasize health and movement and body positivity but I can’t help but feel
I am not telling her the whole truth.

She is 14. And not fat at all - yet.

I don't know, OP... why CAN'T you be honest and tell her this? Who is stopping you?

[Anonymous]

That would be fine to do... why wouldn't you share your experiences?

[Anonymous]

It’s more important to teach her about healthy living — daily exercise, good nutrition and sleep. Also teach her healthy tactics for dealing with stress and hard things that happen in life. This isn’t about not getting fat - that message will do nothing except give her a complex.

[Anonymous]

You don't think she knows? You think nobody's ever made fun of her for having a fat mom, or the clothes you wear or how they fit you? You think she's never seen you hesitate before you sit down in a delicate-looking chair? You think she's never noticed you heave your body up from a sitting position?

This is all obvious. She doesn't need to be told.

[Anonymous]

If she's smart, she will notice. My mom was (is) fat, and I saw how she was ostracized by the other moms.

[Anonymous]

She knows. I had a fat mom and was embarrassed. Other kids made fun of her. I am 47 and have been thin my entire life. I think having a fat mom has made me stay thin.

[Anonymous]

Being physically healthy is the more important message here.

Americans suffer from a self-inflicted epidemic of obesity. Life expectancy is falling in the US largely because obese people increasingly drop dead of heart disease and stroke in their 60s, 50s, and even 40s.

These deaths are fully preventable. Tell your daughter these facts.

(Note: I did NOT - in any way - say “easily.” I said: “fully.” There is a big difference.)

[Anonymous]

Tell her the truth. Being fat sucks! Sex feels good! Weed is great in moderation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't think she knows? You think nobody's ever made fun of her for having a fat mom, or the clothes you wear or how they fit you? You think she's never seen you hesitate before you sit down in a delicate-looking chair? You think she's never noticed you heave your body up from a sitting position?

This is all obvious. She doesn't need to be told.

Gosh, you are cruel.

[Anonymous]

Depending on the reasons why you are fat (IE possibly genetics???), she may not have much say in whether she gets fat or not. And if she does get fat, then what? You pre fat-shamed her.

Just emphasize healthy living -- exercise & healthy foods. And MODEL it yourself. It's not about being "fat" -- it's about how you live your life.

Also work on your self esteem. It's going to affect your kid and it seems likes yours is low.

[Anonymous]

I am chubby and kind of surprised my 14 DD is not more embarrassed by me …

I have plenty of friends …. Honestly I think people care more if you are pleasant, caring, fun and interesting …

Anyway OP, you should communicate whatever you think is important for your DD to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't think she knows? You think nobody's ever made fun of her for having a fat mom, or the clothes you wear or how they fit you? You think she's never seen you hesitate before you sit down in a delicate-looking chair? You think she's never noticed you heave your body up from a sitting position?

This is all obvious. She doesn't need to be told.

Gosh, you are cruel.

Yeah what an ugly comment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her the truth. Being fat sucks! Sex feels good! Weed is great in moderation!

Honestly, I agree with this. You don't have to tell her life as a fat woman has been hard for you in a regretful or punitive way, more just sharing your opinion.

I tell my kids:

-- Work is often not fun, even in "passion" careers
-- Brush/floss/mouthwash 2x a day; bad breath will keep people from wanting to be friends with you
-- Rich kids do have more opportunities just plain handed to them (sorry dcum i know this is a toughie for some of you)

... and a million other things.
They can agree or disagree or find out for themselves, etc.

[Anonymous]

My mom wasn’t obese but she had huge self esteem issues. Hearing her put herself down had a huge impact on my own self esteem. I still think I’m the ugliest person and was terrified of turning 40 because she had early menopause and I’m still somewhat convinced 40 is the end of life. Never put yourself down in front of her. Even small comments.