Daycare and aftercare - do you feel guilty?

[Anonymous]

Both my kids, 3 and 8, are in daycare and aftercare. It averages about 8.5 hours a day. I think I feel it more acutely since I started working from home and I return home after dropping them off. Sometimes the little one looks so tired and the older one isn’t crazy about aftercare. I don’t know what else we can do but it feels bad to me.

[Anonymous]

A little, yes. My 2 yr old loves daycare most days but the days he wants to stay home kills me. He’s such a sweet, introverted little guy that I think the noise and other kids get to him.

[Anonymous]

No, I felt no guilt. What I did commit to was no work once they were home, so I could focus on them.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

I don't but my DH has a lot of guilt. Some of it has to do with the fact that I was raised by 2 working parents so daycare and aftercare were a part of my life and his Mom was a stay at home Mom. Generally DD has liked aftercare so it works out.

[Anonymous]

Yes. A lot.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I don't feel guilty about working so that my kid has health insurance, and a safe home, and warm clothes and food, plus a college fund and parents who can save for retirement. I don't feel guilty about working so that we can afford to live a bit closer to work, so that my spouse doesn't have an insanely long commute that would mean he barely saw the kid during the week.

I also don't feel guilty because my little social butterfly of a kid absolutely loved daycare and totally thrived there, and I could absolutely see how much the staff cared. And she loves aftercare, because she can play with her friends.

I also see no reason why I should feel guilty when communal childcare is actually really common in human history and still around the world.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My kids loved it. And it’s not like they would have had a lot to do otherwise. Once they got home, we always had a few hours to play or do projects. If they didn’t have aftercare I would not likely have increased my time with them or that magically they would have developed these amazing all consuming g interests that kept the away from the tv.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. Every single day. But I never admit it to anyone IRL. I tell them how great it is and how much my kid loves it. I have 200 rationalizations for why daycare is superior to nanny or SAHM care but don’t really believe it.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. Every single day. But I never admit it to anyone IRL. I tell them how great it is and how much my kid loves it. I have 200 rationalizations for why daycare is superior to nanny or SAHM care but don’t really believe it.

I think you need some help.

[Anonymous]

No, absolutely not.
We are glad we can provide the best for them. And when they’re home we are fully focused on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. Every single day. But I never admit it to anyone IRL. I tell them how great it is and how much my kid loves it. I have 200 rationalizations for why daycare is superior to nanny or SAHM care but don’t really believe it.

I think you need some help.

Why? For being honest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. Every single day. But I never admit it to anyone IRL. I tell them how great it is and how much my kid loves it. I have 200 rationalizations for why daycare is superior to nanny or SAHM care but don’t really believe it.

I think you need some help.

Why? For being honest?

NP but not for honesty. For feeling guilty daily over something that really doesn’t matter in the long run.

- SAHM

[Anonymous]

When they were little (under 4) yes I felt guilt. But after that, they really seemed to enjoy it, being out of the house didn't exhaust them so much and they had friends to play with. The interaction was a good thing!

Especially this year, after being home SO MUCH for the previous school year, I feel even less guilt. My kids are thriving after being away from their peers.