Why are some women always lucky in love?

[Anonymous]

I have been reading Shawn Brimley's widow's blog since his death a few years ago. His wife Marjorie writes beautifully about their life and love and just about being so loved. One of her fears was to be alone for the rest of her life. But as an over 40 widow with 3 young children, she meets another amazing man and is married again!

I am so happy for her and wish her well. But I couldn't help but wonder, what's so special about some women like her that they are so beloved by men? Not once but many times in their life? Lucky? or its just something about them?

[Anonymous]

They are usually:
Loving
Open
Warm
Attractive

Women who make their male partners feel loved will never be alone. I've seen many examples of this in my life.

[Anonymous]

Knowing your worth, and being open to love is a big thing. Also, sometimes part of it is just luck. There are really awesome people who continually get the short end of the stick. I learned at an early age that life isn’t fair a lot of the time and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Knowing your worth, and being open to love is a big thing. Also, sometimes part of it is just luck. There are really awesome people who continually get the short end of the stick. I learned at an early age that life isn’t fair a lot of the time and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

So much is about finding someone that didn't have a f____ked up childhood. A person's childhood is such a major red flag that so many miss and don't see how it will play out in middle age, the leftover, unaddressed issues and learned coping mechanisms.

I will heavily council my kids to look at their future partner's parents/family relationships very carefully.

I also think she had a lot of tragedy early in life (her mom dying young) and now karma is coming back to her in a good way. She seems like a genuinely good, warm-hearted, emotionally-sound person.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the loving, warm, open, attractive PP. I would add that women who are not demanding, and know how to (truly) make their own way, are MUCH happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing your worth, and being open to love is a big thing. Also, sometimes part of it is just luck. There are really awesome people who continually get the short end of the stick. I learned at an early age that life isn’t fair a lot of the time and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

So much is about finding someone that didn't have a f____ked up childhood. A person's childhood is such a major red flag that so many miss and don't see how it will play out in middle age, the leftover, unaddressed issues and learned coping mechanisms.

I will heavily council my kids to look at their future partner's parents/family relationships very carefully.

I also think she had a lot of tragedy early in life (her mom dying young) and now karma is coming back to her in a good way. She seems like a genuinely good, warm-hearted, emotionally-sound person.

absolutely +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are usually:
Loving
Open
Warm
Attractive

Women who make their male partners feel loved will never be alone. I've seen many examples of this in my life.

They will if there are no dateable men left to love or love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing your worth, and being open to love is a big thing. Also, sometimes part of it is just luck. There are really awesome people who continually get the short end of the stick. I learned at an early age that life isn’t fair a lot of the time and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

So much is about finding someone that didn't have a f____ked up childhood. A person's childhood is such a major red flag that so many miss and don't see how it will play out in middle age, the leftover, unaddressed issues and learned coping mechanisms.

I will heavily council my kids to look at their future partner's parents/family relationships very carefully.

I also think she had a lot of tragedy early in life (her mom dying young) and now karma is coming back to her in a good way. She seems like a genuinely good, warm-hearted, emotionally-sound person.

absolutely +1

Not everyone is permanently ruined because of messed up childhoods that were no fault of our own. It’s sad that you are implying these people should be doomed by a life of loneliness over circumstances which were beyond their control. Very heartless and cruel. Varied experiences and yes, even adversity can bring genuine compassion and appreciation to many relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing your worth, and being open to love is a big thing. Also, sometimes part of it is just luck. There are really awesome people who continually get the short end of the stick. I learned at an early age that life isn’t fair a lot of the time and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

So much is about finding someone that didn't have a f____ked up childhood. A person's childhood is such a major red flag that so many miss and don't see how it will play out in middle age, the leftover, unaddressed issues and learned coping mechanisms.

I will heavily council my kids to look at their future partner's parents/family relationships very carefully.

I also think she had a lot of tragedy early in life (her mom dying young) and now karma is coming back to her in a good way. She seems like a genuinely good, warm-hearted, emotionally-sound person.

absolutely +1

Do you have any idea how depressing this is for those of us who had to leave abusive spouses? Thanks for telling me my mistakes will limit my child’s chance at a normal family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been reading Shawn Brimley's widow's blog since his death a few years ago. His wife Marjorie writes beautifully about their life and love and just about being so loved. One of her fears was to be alone for the rest of her life. But as an over 40 widow with 3 young children, she meets another amazing man and is married again!

I am so happy for her and wish her well. But I couldn't help but wonder, what's so special about some women like her that they are so beloved by men? Not once but many times in their life? Lucky? or its just something about them?

I have been widowed 7 years, similar age. Can't find anyone and wonder the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing your worth, and being open to love is a big thing. Also, sometimes part of it is just luck. There are really awesome people who continually get the short end of the stick. I learned at an early age that life isn’t fair a lot of the time and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

So much is about finding someone that didn't have a f____ked up childhood. A person's childhood is such a major red flag that so many miss and don't see how it will play out in middle age, the leftover, unaddressed issues and learned coping mechanisms.

I will heavily council my kids to look at their future partner's parents/family relationships very carefully.

I also think she had a lot of tragedy early in life (her mom dying young) and now karma is coming back to her in a good way. She seems like a genuinely good, warm-hearted, emotionally-sound person.

This is not how karma works. At all.

[Anonymous]

I haven't been widowed or looked for love late in life, so I don't know if this really applies to me. But, honestly, I married way out of my league (in many different ways) and always had an easy time finding high quality relationships before marriage.

I have many flaws and I'm very ordinary looking; I marvel at my good luck often. I think if there's something attractive about me it's that I'm easygoing and I tend to find the humor in every situation. Not like laugh-out-loud joke-telling type humor, but I think most of life is fairly absurd, so I don't take anything too serious. I can get a kick out of nearly any mundane situation and very little phases me. My relationships have always had very little conflict. I also think I'm warm and easy to talk to.

I don't mean any of this to brag. Like I said at the start I have more than my fair share of flaws. But I think I've attracted some men into my life because they're used to conflict or friction, and spending time with me just feels light and easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing your worth, and being open to love is a big thing. Also, sometimes part of it is just luck. There are really awesome people who continually get the short end of the stick. I learned at an early age that life isn’t fair a lot of the time and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

So much is about finding someone that didn't have a f____ked up childhood. A person's childhood is such a major red flag that so many miss and don't see how it will play out in middle age, the leftover, unaddressed issues and learned coping mechanisms.

I will heavily council my kids to look at their future partner's parents/family relationships very carefully.

I also think she had a lot of tragedy early in life (her mom dying young) and now karma is coming back to her in a good way. She seems like a genuinely good, warm-hearted, emotionally-sound person.

absolutely +1

Do you have any idea how depressing this is for those of us who had to leave abusive spouses? Thanks for telling me my mistakes will limit my child’s chance at a normal family.

It is depressing that their less than ideal childhood will impact them and their romantic choices. But what are doing about it? Therapy for all, letting them see healthy adult relationships, etc. It is an adversity; it can be overcome, but not by wishing it away.

[Anonymous]

Why is the title to this “why are some women always lucky in love” when the OP is comparing herself to someone whose mother and first husband died?

Live your own life, everyone is different… thinking like this is going to make you miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing your worth, and being open to love is a big thing. Also, sometimes part of it is just luck. There are really awesome people who continually get the short end of the stick. I learned at an early age that life isn’t fair a lot of the time and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

So much is about finding someone that didn't have a f____ked up childhood. A person's childhood is such a major red flag that so many miss and don't see how it will play out in middle age, the leftover, unaddressed issues and learned coping mechanisms.

I will heavily council my kids to look at their future partner's parents/family relationships very carefully.

I also think she had a lot of tragedy early in life (her mom dying young) and now karma is coming back to her in a good way. She seems like a genuinely good, warm-hearted, emotionally-sound person.

absolutely +1

Do you have any idea how depressing this is for those of us who had to leave abusive spouses? Thanks for telling me my mistakes will limit my child’s chance at a normal family.

Get them into therapy. Kids that deal with it before embarking on their own romantic and adult relationships will do fine. The problem is these kids don't address it until they blow up their own marriages or are suffering major crises down the road that are attributed to things they saw growing up. And, this isn't just for children of divorce, it's for any kids that grew up in an acrimonious household.