Completely unmotivated to take care of myself
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Anonymous
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44, 5'1 and 134 lbs, up 10 from about six months ago. I'm most comfortable around 116. Every day I hate myself for not working out and eating right, yet I feel completely stuck. I have a Peloton that my husband uses more than me now. We also have weights, squat rack, etc. I have gone through phases of being very fit in the past, and I know what I need to do but can't motivate to do it! DH is very, very fit and I know it bothers him that I'm letting myself go. I have always struggled with consistency, and when I think about getting started again, all I can think about are the times where I didn't stick to it and it seems pointless. It's like one more thing on my overloaded plate. I want to be healthy for my husband and kids and even that doesn't motivate me enough, which makes me feel like even more of a failure.
Has anyone successfully turned themselves around from years of inconsistency? How did you do it? For those who were overweight and out of shape and finally achieved their goals, what motivated you? |
Anonymous
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Two things work for me when I get unmotivated (and I’m battling it now as I’ve reached my weight goals and need to retrench and find another motivating factor)
1) when I’m motivated I say ‘I’ll just do ten minutes.’ A ten minute walk. A ten minute workout. And it always always ends up longer. Even if I just Do some additional yoga or go for an additional 10 minutes. The key is every day. Do something every day. 2) I remind myself - After a workout, I’ve never ever regretted it. |
Anonymous
| Honestly OP I'm very close to your size and in the same boat. I can barely keep my head above water with work and parenting these days (lots of day care illnesses and sleep disruptions), my house and yard are a mess, I'm just not that high on the list and I have no sleep or energy. I am hoping this is just a season that will pass. |
Anonymous
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Motivation comes and goes. Sometime you just have to suck it up and do something to build better habits. I am never motivated to eat healthy. I would gladly eat junk all day every day if i could. But I know I will gain weight if I do that so i suck it up meal prep and eat my veggies.
I suggest starting small. If you are more concerned about your weight diet will matter more than exercise so I would start there. Make a few small changes to reduce calories. |
Anonymous
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Zero motivation here.
I eat when I'm hungry and don't eat when I'm not hungry. I try to be mindful of reducing processed snacks, and adding a variety of vegetables to my diet, but this is our Achille's heel: no ones likes to prepare, cook and eat vegetables, except for fresh broccoli and frozen spinach. At least we have those. Also, my husband loves to buy all kinds of salty, sweet and terribly unhealthy snacks, and I have trouble ignoring them once they're in the house. I do very well NOT buying them. But once they arrive, my willpower is challenged. And forget about exercise. I hate cardio with a deep hatred, and don't believe it's really very useful. I just wished I had enough motivation to do yoga and lift some free weights, because once I get going, I don't actually mind those. It's just starting: changing clothes, getting the mat out, turning on a video... I KNOW, I AM PATHOLOGICALLY LAZY!!! |
Anonymous
This is really it. Focus on diet first and just creating all around better habits. Start tracking your calories using MyFitnessPal (or similar). That will show you how many calories you're eating and where you can make some cuts. Just seeing how much calories, fat and carbs are in some things can be a wake up call. Also invest in a fitbit, apple watch etc and start trying to incorporate more walking into your day, try to hit your step goal. Gradually start adding in some strength exercises - and these can be things like push ups, squats, etc using your own bodyweight, no gym needed. Can also check out some free exercise programs on Youtube - Caroline Girvan is a good one. Don't worry about the scale - create the foundation and change your mindset and the rest will follow. |
Anonymous
| Do something you enjoy. I ride my bike and run outside. I hate treadmills and gyms and would not like a Peloton (only time I used a stationary bike was when pregnant and OB said cycling on the road was too dangerous). You can also try to fit those activities into your day. I bike to work at least 2x a week. (I realize many are still WFH, though -- but that should give you even more time to fit it in.) |
Anonymous
| You don't need motivation, you need discipline. |
Anonymous
| Same, OP. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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I recommend Beck Diet Book - 45 day mental plan using CBT.
It involves making flashcards with mental affirmations. One of the first flashcards you make is listing what you're seeking: look better in clothes, health, more energy etc. It cuts through negative self talk and puts you to work. Game changer for me - I checked the book out of the library - bargain!! I'm down 30. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| I’m 10 years older than you and have spent the last six months off and on in the hospital for weeks at a time due to poor self-care in my 30’s and 40’s. It’s been pretty horrible. Please let me be your motivation and eat right, get enough sleep and move every day. |
Anonymous
| Picture your husband with a younger woman |
Anonymous
I was just coming on here to say exactly this. You just need to do it. You might not like it. You might hate it. But you just get it done. That's disciple. |
Anonymous
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"You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems." - James Clear
I highly recommend reading his book Atomic Habits, which has helped my life tremendously. You need to build on the healthy habits, reinforce them, and make it easy for you to follow them, day after day. |