Do you fantasize and/or hope your spouse has died?

[Anonymous]

I hate to say it but even though life would be more difficult at first, I still fantasize and harbor a little hope that DH will get in to a fatal car acccident or plane crash (sorry rest of the passengers) or have a heart attack when nobody is home ... Then I could help the kids off to college and live as I like.

No real reason to initiate a divorce though. He's a good person, overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to say it but even though life would be more difficult at first, I still fantasize and harbor a little hope that DH will get in to a fatal car acccident or plane crash (sorry rest of the passengers) or have a heart attack when nobody is home ... Then I could help the kids off to college and live as I like.

No real reason to initiate a divorce though. He's a good person, overall.

[Anonymous]

That's dark. I've been there, I had little fantasies that my exDH would die in an accident while traveling for work, thus giving me the ability to end the marriage without the explanations, stigma, or difficult conversations that would be involved with asking for a divorce. It was the point I realized I needed to leave the marriage.

[Anonymous]

When I was being abused I felt that way. Unfortunately divorce was the only way out.

[Anonymous]

No, but one of my closest friends died. Her marriage was horrible. Everything was reaching a breaking point. She was working up the courage to ask her wife for a divorce. The wife wasn’t a bad person, but they were a truly terrible fit together.

Now the widow gets all the sympathy and is still posting about her long lost love on Facebook. It’s almost like the widow has convinced herself it was a great marriage, which is even worse.

[Anonymous]

15:40 This is all to say that, yes, being widowed is sometimes much easier than divorce — especially if the marriage is terrible and there are no kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was being abused I felt that way. Unfortunately divorce was the only way out.

+1. Had fantasies of stabbing him myself while he was lying next to me. I had to get out.

[Anonymous]

A timely thread. I have feelings like this at times and I really can't explain why because my spouse is a good person. The closest thing I can come to is that in a lot of ways I regret getting married. It's not that I regret the person I married, it's that I think I would probably be happier by myself.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes wish he would die. Would make things so much easier.

[Anonymous]

I used to. We moved for his job, and I didn’t like it here. He threatened me with a nasty divorce if I took the kids and left. I used to wish he would die, and I could move on without him.

[Anonymous]

Just showing why marriage with children at times resembles a hostage situation.

[Anonymous]

Wow, no. My DH and I have a middling relationship but I wouldn’t wish that on my kids. I am sorry to hear this OP.

[Anonymous]

No. Not wished that he'd die. Wondered what it would be like if he did. I lost my dad when I was a kid. I wouldn't wish it on my kids. My life would be easier if I didn't have to compromise and could do what I wanted the way I wanted when I wanted, but it's not worth going through that kind of grief. Even if it wasn't my grief, I'd have grieving kids, and that would be more than enough to make me not want him dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A timely thread. I have feelings like this at times and I really can't explain why because my spouse is a good person. The closest thing I can come to is that in a lot of ways I regret getting married. It's not that I regret the person I married, it's that I think I would probably be happier by myself.

this

[Anonymous]

Not me but a friend confessed this to me once. Not that she actually wanted him to die, but that scenario was easier to imagine than being the one to initiate what would be a painful divorce. They did divorce and ironically he actually did die a few years later of natural causes. She wound up being devastated. It was very sad.