Nowhere for child to sit at birthday party/bullying issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked nicely to those parents sitting in chair to give up one seat. If you are shy, talk to
the host or the staff to ask for you.

+1
I would totally ask the host where my child could sit.

As a host, I would just say we need to ensure all kids can seat - would the adults in the room please stand up and first ensure that all kids can sit.

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked nicely to those parents sitting in chair to give up one seat. If you are shy, talk to
the host or the staff to ask for you.

+1
I would totally ask the host where my child could sit.

As a host, I would just say we need to ensure all kids can seat - would the adults in the room please stand up and first ensure that all kids can sit.

Exactly this.

The host DID grab a seat for OPs kid and he refused to sit in it. Op, I'd work on some resiliency with your kid. Mine has always been pretty sensitive and we had to work with him on learning to some things go. It got better as he got older, but early elementary school was hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, but it sounds like you were the problem here. Several opportunities where you could have been more assertive.

"Excuse me, Liam, this is Lincoln's seat. Do you see, Lincoln saved it with his jacket."

or

"Excuse me, Jennifer, could Lincoln please have your seat, it looks like there aren't any others available for children."

Next time, try advocating for your child. He is watching you.


As for the crying, clearly your child was tired and hangry, and you are trying to make excuses for this.

You can’t tell a kid to get up who is in the middle of eating pizza and there’s nowhere else to sit.

Why not?

Umm because that other kid did nothing wrong? OP left her crap laying around like probably ten other adults and kids did, and the kids all sat down to eat. If the kid was already eating and someone snagged his seat then yes okay but in this case OP’s kid never even had his butt in the seat. It was therefore never “his” seat to ask to have back.

[Anonymous]

I find social anxiety and being judgmental often go hand-in-hand. Not always but often, when I meet a socially anxious person, they judge things no one else notices. They also become anxious about being judged about things no one else notices. Are you worried someone was judging your 5-year-old for throwing a tantrum? I almost guarantee if someone were, that person also has anxiety. You can’t control the perfect storm of events that leads to a tantrum, but you try to, because you think poorly of tantrums.

This level of being judgmental is not good friend material. You want the opposite: high understanding, low judgment. That person was probably at the party. In fact, many of those people might have been at the party.

In Ghandi’s words, be the change you want in the world. Then find your flock.

[Anonymous]

[twitter] look

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked nicely to those parents sitting in chair to give up one seat. If you are shy, talk to
the host or the staff to ask for you.

+1
I would totally ask the host where my child could sit.

As a host, I would just say we need to ensure all kids can seat - would the adults in the room please stand up and first ensure that all kids can sit.

Exactly this.

The host DID grab a seat for OPs kid and he refused to sit in it. Op, I'd work on some resiliency with your kid. Mine has always been pretty sensitive and we had to work with him on learning to some things go. It got better as he got older, but early elementary school was hard.

It sounds like that happened after it got intense. Let’s not pick on the kid that was having a tough moment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked nicely to those parents sitting in chair to give up one seat. If you are shy, talk to the host or the staff to ask for you.

+1
I would totally ask the host where my child could sit.

As a host, I would just say we need to ensure all kids can seat - would the adults in the room please stand up and first ensure that all kids can sit.

OP is a germophobe who insisted on taking her child to the bathroom and to wash his hands instead of using the hand sanitizer provided by the hosts.This is also a case of you snooze, you lose.

Awesome. Can’t wait for the next lord of the flies kiddie party. Maybe we’ll snooze the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Also noro is rampant now. Best of luck not washing hands. That’s common sense rather than being a germaphobe. Enjoy being the cool girl mom while barfing.

[Anonymous]

You sound very socially awkward and do dies your son. Maybe it’s time to skip parties fur a while.

[Anonymous]

wait, there was a kids' party at a private school where most of the moms were eating pizza?

Please tell me where this school is because these moms are my people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as if your child has socio-communication issues, OP. He might benefit from an evaluation if you're finding that he's routinely targeted and victimized by different groups, and has difficulty finding solutions when he's upset and controlling his emotions. Kids are bloodhounds - they smell a weakness from miles away. This happened to my son at the same age, who was diagnosed with an ADHD/HFA combo.

Please don't be rigid yourself (stop crying or we're leaving). He's being overly rigid, so everyone else has to be flexible, in order for a crisis to be averted. It's difficult to teach self-control and self-awareness to someone who digs themselves in and has tantrums, but when you're in crisis mode and are looking for a peaceful, socially acceptable outcome, it's best not to get into a battle of wills - you will lose 100% of the time. You might have taken him outside for fresh air, with food if allowed, then come back in for cake, and ask an adult to give him his chair for a minute. Distract and defuse.

And when he's calm, teach him breathing techniques, visualization, CBT therapy techniques, anything that will help him become a little more flexible so that he can trouble shoot situations himself instead of going immediately into Defcon 1.

Well, yeah, obviously he was having some socio-comm issues; but he is 5 and a boy and was running in a pack of 6-7 year olds in highly stimulating environment. All younger boys in that situation are going to have some social/comm issues.

None of the kids were 7. OPs kid having a meltdown has nothing to do with the other kids. They came in, found a seat and had pizza. Many 5.5 year olds can manage that.

Actually, OP explained that there were in fact 6 and 7 year olds. My kid's private kindergarten was like that and it was awful. Parents redshirt their kids for social dominance and that's what happens. They can smell fear and insecurity from across the room and the younger kids are treated horribly by the boys who are dominant not just because they're older, but because they are also being raised by parents who value that personality--being in charge and in control. I can feel in my bones what OP went through. A lot of you sound like the power-hungry types who think the problem is all with the kid and OP instead of recognizing what jerks the other parents and kids were. It's really sad. OP: find another environment for that kid. Better yet: since you can't beat em, join em and redshirt him somewhere else.

Akshually they were only 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as if your child has socio-communication issues, OP. He might benefit from an evaluation if you're finding that he's routinely targeted and victimized by different groups, and has difficulty finding solutions when he's upset and controlling his emotions. Kids are bloodhounds - they smell a weakness from miles away. This happened to my son at the same age, who was diagnosed with an ADHD/HFA combo.

Please don't be rigid yourself (stop crying or we're leaving). He's being overly rigid, so everyone else has to be flexible, in order for a crisis to be averted. It's difficult to teach self-control and self-awareness to someone who digs themselves in and has tantrums, but when you're in crisis mode and are looking for a peaceful, socially acceptable outcome, it's best not to get into a battle of wills - you will lose 100% of the time. You might have taken him outside for fresh air, with food if allowed, then come back in for cake, and ask an adult to give him his chair for a minute. Distract and defuse.

And when he's calm, teach him breathing techniques, visualization, CBT therapy techniques, anything that will help him become a little more flexible so that he can trouble shoot situations himself instead of going immediately into Defcon 1.

Well, yeah, obviously he was having some socio-comm issues; but he is 5 and a boy and was running in a pack of 6-7 year olds in highly stimulating environment. All younger boys in that situation are going to have some social/comm issues.

None of the kids were 7. OPs kid having a meltdown has nothing to do with the other kids. They came in, found a seat and had pizza. Many 5.5 year olds can manage that.

What are you on about? OP specifically said the other kids were 6 or 7.

Read it again, more carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound very socially awkward and do dies your son. Maybe it’s time to skip parties fur a while.

Or OP, send your DH or the father to some of these things. I have social anxiety and this is what I do, at times.

[Anonymous]

OP said: I took my 5-year-old DS to a birthday party today for a 6 y/o boy in his class. The boys were wild - just insane. Some of them were 6 turning 7...

I bet the "6 turning 7 kids" are redshirted kids who will be turning 7 in the spring so they are at most a full year older than her boy who turned 5 this past summer.

I do think the whole "boys will be boys" thing is an excuse for parents who misunderstand positive parenting and don't want to put in the effort to actually discipline their children; however I also think that OP sounds like a pushover and really should have either asked someone for a seat or found an empty chair and shoved her kid in next to where he wanted to sit. She's not the first person in the world this has happened to. I have a girl who up until 3rd grade was always one of the only girls at an all boy party, she stood up for herself, and when she couldn't, I stood up for her.

OP, your child is clearly on the younger end of kids which means he is going to need to learn to be loud and be more assertive.

All of that said, OP never came back, so it's entirely possible that she's just the same person who for the past week or so has been posting a ton of anti boy-mom posts and has been sock puppeting this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked nicely to those parents sitting in chair to give up one seat. If you are shy, talk to
the host or the staff to ask for you.

+1
I would totally ask the host where my child could sit.

As a host, I would just say we need to ensure all kids can seat - would the adults in the room please stand up and first ensure that all kids can sit.

Exactly this.

The host DID grab a seat for OPs kid and he refused to sit in it. Op, I'd work on some resiliency with your kid. Mine has always been pretty sensitive and we had to work with him on learning to some things go. It got better as he got older, but early elementary school was hard.

+1. A meltdown at a kids party is nbd, it happens and most of us have been there. But there are ways to build confidence and resiliency by asking for what you need and in learning to be flexible and roll with situations that aren’t ideal.

OP, you can model these behaviors by taking charge. Blaming everyone around you for being bad parents and bad kids isn’t helpful in the long term and will not help you or your child.

And I would consider changing schools or classes if your child is in K is truly the only 5 y/o and a lot of the kids are 7.

[Anonymous]

OP is the anti-boy mom troll. That is why she hasn't come back to respond.